... there is no sin but innocence.
Aug. 2nd, 2010 11:03 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
Childhood: The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth -- two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
- Ambrose Bierce
Tuesday afternoon, the carnival
As it turned out I was glad to have seen Wanda. The Kent body can please her easily enough, and although now I have conquered her the game has gone out of it, a span of a few hours of copulating and making conversation are insignificant in my greater schemes. I left her sated and no longer furious with me, which is well. She needs to keep content enough to bear my child, and I would rather she lived afterward, for I have no interest in raising her baby. There are cults enough that would be glad of the honour, but my worshippers do tend toward the volatile. And besides, mother knows best, humans are so insistent on that. Better that Wanda stay healthy in body and well enough in mind to look after our daughter, and once she is raised enough -
I smile as I slip into the little girl body with which I spoke to Gaueko. Then, indeed, we shall see.
Although my fury with Tezcatlipoca has not abated, I have now put it deep inside me. There is no risk of holocaust, now, if I see him, and I find myself in the mood for mischief. Cruelty to humans is always a pleasure, and after -
Now I find I crave it particularly. Nothing of blood or bone, no. I want something more delicate than that. And so I put on this little doll body, such a perfect child. I even give it a heart that beats, so that if someone should press this child body to them they will hear its comforting thump. But the body I keep as a shell. I have no desire for the putrescence of shitting sweating Man to be about me. This heart might as well be clockwork, these limbs porcelain, for all the feeling they have for me. And yet to the touch its skin is as soft as any child's and as warm.
If a job is not well done, better not to do it at all. I have a pleasure in my own perfection.
I dress this body in a red coat and striped dress. Her long socks have rolled down enough to show a scab on one knee. I walk this body across to the carnival, where it looks thoughtfully at the rides, hands in its pockets, a small dab of chocolate at the corner of its mouth.
I am sure it will make new friends.
[closed]