EXCOLO

Thursday, February 25th

They 'anged Benedict.

Afore they did it, I 'ad the idea to read 'is cards. After what 'appened with Tez I weren't too keen, an' we'd say we wouldn't do it again, read someone who weren't there. But it struck me I could maybe tell if it was true, what the town was sayin', an' so Faith went off an' found an' old shirt of 'is 'as bin left behind, an' I wrapped a deck o'cards in it an' then dealt 'em.

It's different, readin' cards now I can't see 'em. Faith could tell me what they is when I turn 'em over, but I've found I don't need to. I see 'em brighter than before, flare of light in the dark, an' there's sound to 'em now, too, when there weren't before. Dunno if it's cos I've lost my other sight an' my brain's compensatin' some'ow, or if Management made me stronger. But in any case, the colours are brighter now.

Benedict's cards was all red, an' sounded like breaking bones.

I was sick, after, into a basin. Faith cleaned it up. She's bin right good to me, these last two weeks. It ain't bin easy, adjustin'. An' we've 'ad mixed reactions from people. Syl was the worst. Yer killin' yerselves fer th'sake'a what's 'tween'ere legs I think she said, an' I cried an' cried. An' sometimes I cry cos when I open me eyes in the mornin' all I see is grey shapes, an' it'll be that way forever.

But then I walk outside, an' there's no pain, an' though I still need a stick to make sure I don't fall over nothing, it ain't 'oldin' me up. Faith an' me, we've walked miles up an' down the river. An' I ain't nothin' but a bit footsore by the end of it.

Yesterday we walked past an old bloke, who said we was the prettiest girls 'e'd seen in years. It shouldn't matter, really, an' 'e was just a nice old chap. But 'is first thought weren't that we was somethin' strange. 'E thought we was just nice lookin' girls.

Faith got me a pair of spectacles with smoked glass. She says it makes it less obvious that I can't see. She says the frames are pretty. She got me clothes an' all. I said she could pick 'em, but I didn't want nothin' too revealin', an' I want things that feel nice. None of the skirts she's got me're longer'n knee length, though. She said we'd 'idden our legs long enough. Today I'm wearin' an outfit that's all soft an' velvet, an' Faith says the colours are my sort of thing. I trust 'er, more or less. Ran my fingers over the knit of the top to make sure it weren't sheer, cos that's Faith for you. Seemed alright, an' I like the way the skirt swings.

Me an' Faith walk into town, an' she sits me down at a table at the cafe.

"You need t'try bein' alone now an' then, luvvie," she says. "'Ere, if you feel nervous." She puts a deck of cards in me 'and. "Be back in 'alf an hour." She lets go of me 'and, an' I can't 'ear 'er no more, an' then there's footsteps an' the door shuttin', an' oh lord, I'm scared. But I'll do my best t'be alright.

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