The past is a foreign country

[nansekam.livejournal.com]

Early morning, Friday, the road back to Excolo

Noonday sun in my eyes on Wednesday and not a fucking clue what I was doing. Felt lightheaded, like I'd stood up too fast. Reckoned I must be on my way home, cos I recognised the road, though I swear, I swear it wasn't fucking winter. Last thing I remembered was having a raging fight with Concetta - about the abbey, mostly. Must have gone on a blinder cos I didn't remember what I'd done that morning. Anyway, so I went on home, still feeling lightheaded, and -

Almost didn't recognise Rashida when I got back. She'd aged about ten years, and I felt dizzy again, like I had a drink last night and I woke up today like - what's that bloke? Dick van Dyke? Rip van Winkle? Something like that. Like I've slept half my fucking life away. But I didn't have time to worry about that, cos Mum - She wasn't doing well. Not doing well at all. She was just...lying in bed, and she kept making this fucking gurgling sound like a baby. Just like a baby. Rashida said she'd been like that for an hour, one minute fine and the next like she'd had her brain wiped clean. And Dad... Looked fucking ancient for one thing, never seen him so frail, but I could cope with that, except then he managed to slip down the front steps worrying about Mum, and he sprained his ankle pretty badly and roughed his face up.

Pulled myself together as best I could, got him sorted out, and me and Rashida have been sitting up with Mum. Been a long day and a bit, and Rashida's barely talked to me. Said I haven't been to the house in weeks, and I don't know what she's talking about and I'm afraid to really ask. It's bad enough seeing Mum like this.

This morning I get up early and start walking out in the rain, cos I need to get to town and see if someone can come in who can help us. Times like this I wish we had a fucking doctor. Maybe someone at the abbey can help.

[OPEN]