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[hermia-sophia.livejournal.com]

Thursday, June 14
Valmont and Hermia's Garden

Well. This is going to be awkward.

But a bit of awkwardness is well worth the trouble, and worth the greater good if we can turn Mab aside from the path that she is on. If we can win her back to the path that I know she wants to follow, but has gone astray. This person who delights in violence and bloodshed - that is not my friend. Not the person who took me in when I first stumbled into this town; not the person performed my wedding.

If there is any chance that I can possibly call Mab back to herself, I must do it.

And, in truth, I should have done it long ago.

So we are setting out tea and cakes and lemonade in the garden, and sending Luc up for his nap a bit early so that he will be out of the way.

(Well, more precisely, we are sending him up to his room. Whether he will sleep is another question entirely. More likely, we will come up to find a very awake littleboy amid a maze of pillows and blocks and a long elaborate story about what it is. But at least he will not be here.)

I waddle about the table (dear gods, I did not think I could get any larger, but apparently, I can!), setting napkins and silverware in their proper places while Valmont fetches the food. And the wheels of my mind spin, and I wait.

[Open to Valmont and Mab]

Comments

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

I stay very still, cup of tea in hand. This seems like a quietly breathless sort of moment - one wrong move might frighten Mab away from explaining. She and I have never been close, for all I liked her and she stood as my second in that duel with Lysander - that feels so long ago now! - and so I stay quiet in case I distract her from the touch of Hermia's hand, the gentle concern in my wife's voice.

[regal-vigilante.livejournal.com]

I realize that Hermia's reaching toward me, so lean a bit and take her hand, "I'll try to explain. Can't promise it'll make the most sense, but I'll try," squeeze her fingers and collect my thoughts before I begin.

Describing it is strange, and I don't know it's hard despite our friendship, or because of it, "Before I came to Excolo I knew who I was and what my duties were. I knew what to do and when to do it, and no problem ever stopped me. And then I came here and everything just shifted on me. Suddenly I had more than just my duty," Drop my eyes and stare into my teacup, "I had friends and I didn't know how to care about them. Or take care of them. And I had problems that couldn't be easily solved. Crimes without evidence. Things I knew but couldn't prove. I couldn't arrest gods or demons and I certainly couldn't tell folk that was why I wasn't getting this done. Knowing who I was just wasn't enough anymore."

Look back up at her, "And then, all at once, I had a realization. Why did I have to prove anything? You remember when we had that terrible riot a couple years ago. The one that happened because we were giving the cannibal due- process? No one here wanted justice or reasons. They wanted safe and quiet and the bad guy stopped. I learned from that."

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

I glance at Hermia. No one here wanted justice or reasons.

"The town may not," I say, very quietly, "but I think you do care about justice, Mab. How safe can any of us really be if we can't rely on receiving justice if we need it?" I sip my tea. "I've never," I confess, "been very interested in the due process of the law. I didn't grow up with it, and I've not seen it work in many places. Excolo was one of the first places I've been where the system tried to really work for the people, not just whoever was in charge - the king or the mayor or the wealthy citizens. And a lot of that is due to you and Jack."

[hermia-sophia.livejournal.com]

It would have been easier if it had been magic. A spell that I could break; a demon that needed to be slain; a legacy from her time with the Fae. But, no. It is simply human emotion - weariness, disillusionment, pain -and that is infinitely more difficult to fight.

"I never saw much of it either, before coming here," I agree, with a brief wry glance over at Valmont. Justice in Athens was a few rich men speaking to another few rich men, never to or for anyone else. "You showed us a different way. And if more people see that justice and reasons matter, then they'll learn. Some of them, at least," I have to admit, with a sour twist of my mouth. "Some never will - they won't want to listen, or look outside themselves. But some will. Those are the ones who wanted better elections, and who have been coming to you to help them find justice. Real justice, not just an easy answer. And…I think you still care about it, too," I venture, looking back up at Mab. "It wouldn't pain you so much if you didn't."

[regal-vigilante.livejournal.com]

Hermia flags for just a second when I explain. I'm sure she was wishing that it was some problem she could help me fight, not my own disillusionment.

I try to smile again, "I can't promise I'll go right back to being straight and narrow again. But I can try it. Everyone, the Town...me. We all deserve better than some of what I've been putting out there."

I finally pull my hand back for Hermia so I can sip my now-cooling tea, "Maybe it's a bit off, but I hadn't figured that anyone really noticed. You two are the first who've really questioned me on it. Guess I'm better at putting people off than I thought."

[hermia-sophia.livejournal.com]

"You do deserve better." I offer Mab a small smile, and squeeze her hand. "I can't imagine that it's a comfortable feeling, coming home every night - or morning - with the memories of what you've been doing. Trying is all that I'd ask. A feeling like the one you have…it can't be changed all at once."

I lean back as Mab pulls away - but it isn't a sharp, closed-off sort of pulling away, just the ordinary leaning back so that we can both get on with our tea. Relief is seeping back into me, taking the place of the tension - tension that has been there for much longer than I have realized, and that I only feel in its departure.

"We're not the first who have noticed," I admit quietly. "Only the first who have spoken up to you. Unless Jack has said something?" I think he must have. If I know him at all, he would have shown his unhappiness in some way, even if he did not come out and talk to Mab as we have done. "And…forgive me, please, for not having spoken up sooner. You deserve better than our silence, too. Our friendship does."

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

"I think people have noticed," I agree, "and been nervous of speaking out... But there are also people in town who'll have noticed aNd not cared, who think that a hard hand is what the law should be. But ... I think justice isn't about giving the majority what they want, but what they need."

I hear a small sound, and tilt my head. Yes, that's Luc calling out. I excuse myself and go up to see if he needs something, or if he just wants to have his latest game admired.