This is it, this moment is all we’ve really got. Right now is what matters. There is no was.

[melania-lowell.livejournal.com]

Monday, March 8th
Day 281
Basement of The Tavern

Candles, I think she'd like them. Fire seemed like a good idea at the time. So I set them around the once filled hole. It seems like I just did it all, but the candles are burned down to the stubs stuck in the ground and I'm a wolf again. Laying down at the edge of her grave, I notice she's smiling. I didn't notice that when I closed her eyes, or uncovered her and wiped the dirt from her pale face.

There's a twisting emptiness in my stomach like I'm hungry but I just ate. Now isn't the time for eating anyway. We haven't been down here long. Aside from the dirt, she looks just like she did ten minutes ago when she was alive. The blood has dried but I can till taste it on my tongue. I shiver and my skin twitches as I lick my paws. The fur is gone from them now, it must've been from the fight. Whatever was in that last bottle I drank was sweet and cool and better than anything I've tried before.

My stomach twists again and I growl in response. Maybe that's what she's smiling at. The thought makes me lower my head to look down at here again. Verdi, my friend, crazy goddess of apples, wonderful drinks, and lover of a good fight. We haven't been here long, but she'll wake up, I couldn't kill her, she said so, and I'm gonna be here when she wakes up. There are some things I know I should do for her, but I'm afraid if I shift back I'll see her smile, and I'll laugh until I cry.

That's not what I want to do so I lift my muzzle into the air and sing her a song. Not one of sadness, I don't think she'd like that, one of running and playing in warm fields with apple trees. A song of a place I hope I'll see her in again. I hope she can hear it in the hall of her fathers, wherever that is.

[OPEN TO GLASS AND LUCIEN AND ... VERDANDI]
[CLOSED]

Comments

[norn-verdandi.livejournal.com]

I reply to his question about Lannie and he thinks about it before saying, "Let me talk to Lannie again. She's half starved, and looks exhausted. Maybe I did not understand her right?"

I frown, "Maybe." I shrug before saying, "Tell her the boys will cover for her and she should take a few days off. She earned it, and more." Much more, and I smile, thinking about it.

I tell him why I did it and he asks, "Sacrifice for what? What needed to be accomplished by your death?" Another small frown and I ask, "Do you need that for your report? What if I don't want everyone to know?" I shouldn't be so suspicious, not of my doctor. I take off what's left of my torn shirt and reluctantly say, "There was a lot of darkness creeping into me and the balance was off. I had to fix that."

My t-shirt's still intact but no bra. Right. Gaueko. "Lannie and the others needed to be protected. They were trained to survive even if I wasn't around anymore. Benedict was a perfect example of why." I pull dirt loose from another tangle and continue, "Lannie wasn't supposed to kill me but when I felt the end coming, I decided to go anyway. She's a warrior but that wasn't her job, to end me. Given the choice, someone else would have done it."

I talk about being pickled and Lucien sniffs me before talking about how he found me. "That's strange. She tore my throat out but I guess that doesn't matter now." I smile, "I'm alive again but maybe she did stumble on something. Honestly, I think she did it," and I look at him thoughtfully. "Not sure how yet but hey, it's a theory."

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

Well no shit Lannie's earned a few days off, but I don't voice that. Verdi seems so sure and so calm. I am hoping it's a god thing and she hasn't gone a touch mad.

She seems reluctant to tell me the 'whys' of it all, and I don't want to push her, but I need to understand. I am about to ask again, and to assure her I won't and HEY! Hi there, Verdi.

"There was a lot of darkness creeping into me and the balance was off. I had to fix that." I keep my eyes trained on her face, I am a medical professional and she's explaining taht she wanted them to be tougher, to be protected and do not look down you stupid male ass!!!

"Lannie wasn't supposed to kill me but when I felt the end coming, I decided to go anyway. She's a warrior but that wasn't her job, to end me. Given the choice, someone else would have done it."

"Well, she killed you, and it was days ago, and I get the feeling she's really upset about it." I say quietly, resolutely not looking at her chest. "One last question; did she know she was being trained? Did you explain it to her before you started surprising her in the cellar?"

I arch an eyebrow as she continues. "You think she brought you back?" I think back to exactly what happened. "Lannie put the weapon back in your hand and started howling. Then... it seemed really loud, and it got really bright. And next thing I know... living, breathing sunshine. Figuratively and literally." I laugh a little and rake a hand through my hair.

"You probably could use something to eat and a shower. Want me to get you something food wise while you clean up?"

I am trying to be good, and finding a shirt would help a lot towards that end Sunshine...

[norn-verdandi.livejournal.com]

[continued here (http://community.livejournal.com/estdeus_innobis/399161.html)]