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estdeus_innobisTuesday, February 23rd
The Dormouse, mid afternoon
I sip my tea and listen to the conversations swirling about me.
"Did you go this morning?"
"No! Did you?"
"Do you think he did it?"
"I heard his neck did not snap, and that he jerked around on the--"
"I do NOT wish to hear about that! If you want to talk about that, you may kindly get out of my shoppe."
I arch an eyebrow at Wanda, but say nothing. Granted, it is her shoppe and a hanging of a murderer is hardly light conversation, but her mood has become increasingly surly as she progresses. Poor dear looks like she is uncomfortable and has not slept well in a week, and her normally sweet disposition has all but disappeared.
As Mrs. Higgins and Mrs. Clark get up in a huff and leave, I pat Wanda's hand in a comforting manner as she drags herself over to refill my cup. "Not much longer till the baby's here, right? Another month? Just gotta hold on a bit longer." I try to say kindly, still wildly curious to know who the father really is. She has assured us that the baby is indeed Mr. Whitman's, but he's only been in town since later summer, and I DO know how to do math, thank you very much. "I hired a new girl, she starts Thursday. She'll be here two days, and taking over for a bit when I get closer and for a few weeks after." Wanda sighs, giving me a smile before heading back to the kitchen.
Due in a month? Like HELL that baby's her husbands. Wonder if it'll have blonde hair instead of red or black...
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Date: 2010-10-27 09:54 pm (UTC)I sniffle a little and dab at my eyes. "I... I have a midwife appointment on Monday. I have to waddle out that way to see them, I am sure I can make my way to the Whitechapel on the way back." I think aloud, listening to my daughter's heartbeat to help calm my frazzled nerves.
"I haven't seen you with Miao lately, Did... you have a falling out?"
I look at him for a moment, my expression blank, then start to cry all over again. "You could say that." I laugh/sob at the same time. "Have you ever seen Miao pissed off? I have, and let me tell you..." I am laughing even as the tears flow. "Threw a cup of tea right in my face!" I think my laugh has gone a touch hysterical now, so I suck down a few deep breaths to try and get back to some form of rational.
"And before you ask, it was not over Lucien. It's... it's a long story." I say with a small shrug.
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Date: 2010-10-27 10:06 pm (UTC)"You don't look fit to do any more business, and I'll buy another pot of tea if it makes you feel less guilty for closing early," I say. "I like long stories. Tell me about it."
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Date: 2010-10-27 10:17 pm (UTC)"I like long stories. Tell me about it."
I am shaking my head in the negative. "Valmont, please. It's... it's nothing---" and I have to stop because it's really not nothing, and I do hate lying to him. "She wasn't wrong to be upset, and I know, I know I..." I look at him alomst helplessly. "I just don't think I can handle anyone else hating me." I tell him a small, tired voice.
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Date: 2010-10-27 10:30 pm (UTC)I've never heard Wanda so defeated, and it shakes me. She's always been so strong. I reach for her hand and squeeze it.
"I very much doubt I'll hate you," I say. "Even if you have done something very bad." My voice is quite serious. "I'm not a good man, Wanda, though I try to be a decent one, and I don't judge people by higher standards than those I hold myself to. And I am not sure those are so very high, though Hermia has improved me a little," I add with a small smile. "I won't necessarily approve, but unless you hurt Hermia, or Alice, or Fiona, I would not hate you."
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Date: 2010-10-27 11:36 pm (UTC)"You say that now but... if what I've done is enought to get Miao to swear and dash tea in my face, and drive all but Jaime and Lucien away, pardon me if I have my reservations." My mouth twitches up, just slightly at the corner, but it falls again and I start at the floor, his hand a uncomfortable weight on mine.
"Okay, I'll ask you the same thing I asked Jaime." I sigh and take a deep breath. "What would you do if you found out the person you were in love with were the worst person in the world?"
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Date: 2010-10-28 11:21 pm (UTC)"Well, Jamie's a sweeter natured chap than me by far," I say cheerfully. "So I doubt he can stand something I cannot. Excepting bee stings."
"What would you do if you found out the person you were in love with were the worst person in the world?"
I feel my eyebrows go up.
"That," I say, "is a rather alarming question. "If I found out after falling in love with them, that would suggest they'd kept themselves hidden, and so maybe I wouldn't have been in love with the real them at all..." I tilt my head. "Just tell me, dear, what this is about."
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Date: 2010-10-29 03:15 am (UTC)A ghost of a smile flickers over my face. "Oh, he's so good at hiding. He can be in the middle of a crowd, and you would never know that he was..." I breathe, passing a hand over my head, for it is starting to ache. "But in that facade, there was truth. There is, I have to believe that." Oh hell, I am babbling. I sigh and drop my head into my hands. 'M sorry Valmont, I'm just..." Just what? Tired? Selfish? Insane? A little of each, I suppose.
"Just tell me, dear, what this is about."
"I want to, I do. I want to be a good friend, so I should tell you, try to keep you safe..." Laugh a little as a few tears slip out. "but I want what I want too, and I'm not going to change, and that's why Miao is so upset with me, for I should know better and..."
Groan a little and wipe at the tears with the handkerchief. "Okay, fine, remember that you insisted." I take a deep breath and keep my gaze fixed on a point somewhere on the back wall. "This wonderful guy I met? The one who seemed a perfect match for me in every aspect? He's the one in the water tower. And I wed him anyway, knowing what I know."
There. He'll either hate me or think I am mad, I am sure.
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Date: 2010-10-29 01:56 pm (UTC)"This wonderful guy I met? The one who seemed a perfect match for me in every aspect? He's the one in the water tower. And I wed him anyway, knowing what I know."
...
I put my tea cup down quite gently on its saucer. There are a great many things I could say, but for the moment I can't think of any of them.
"Why on earth," is what comes out at last, "would the Devil want to get married?" And then I look at Wanda again, Wanda who has been bigger each time I've seen her lately. "Oh," I say quite thinly. "Oh, my dear."
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Date: 2010-10-29 05:31 pm (UTC)"Why on earth, would the Devil want to get married?" I have to clamp my hand over my mouth hard, for it is within me to burst into laughter. Or screaming, not sure which. Then he's looking at me, as if seeing me for the first time.
"Oh, my dear."
"Here I thought it was my sparkling personality, turns out I merely have good child bearing hips." I try to joke,even laughing a little...
but it dissolves into tears.
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Date: 2010-11-01 12:00 am (UTC)Wanda is crying again, and I -
My mouth feels strangely numb. But when you see the abomination of desolation standing where it ought not to be, then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. I look at the curve of Wanda's belly, and there is a sour taste on my tongue.
But Wanda is crying, and after a moment I reach out and take her hand. Her fingers are cold.
"What are you going to do?"
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Date: 2010-11-01 09:45 pm (UTC)http://community.livejournal.com/estdeus_innobis/388025.html