Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you!

[dorian-excolo.livejournal.com]

Saturday, October 31st
Evening
The Home of Alessandra Ferdis


The last few days have been, at best, a blur of activity and I can't say that it's left me in the best of spirits.  Party planning is always a chore, even a gathering as small as this, and I suppose it's the price to be paid - blood, sweat, and countless hours spent hunched over fabric - for an evening of excitement.  Alessandra has been more than accommodating, as I've measured, decorated, and almost completely reordered most of her house.  It will take some time, tomorrow once the festivities are well over, to put things back to sorts, but I've already hired hands to assist in that.

That is one benefit of living in Excolo, there is never a shortage of strong backs willing to do a bit of labor for good pay, and in a matter of days the entire place has been transformed into something resembling a fitting locale.  The walls have been covered with lush fabrics, the garden littered with a multitude of hanging lights, and the main room leading to the back cleared for the guests.  After that, it's only been a matter of setting up the refreshments, finding a suitable place for the music, and dimming the lights.

I could kill myself over the details of course, it's in my nature, and so as soon as things are well in hand, I retire to the upstairs guest suite to dress.  It's a simple design, more a personal amusement than anything else, and I doubt anyone will get the joke.  Those always are the best sorts of fun, though, the personal chuckles that are mine alone.  I finish strapping my sword to my side, mask still sitting on a nearby table, and cross to the balcony doors to peek outside.  The sun has faded into the horizon and guests have started to arrive.  That leaves me with a bit of time - I have no intention on making anything less than a memorable entrance - and so I lean against the door frame, careful to keep out of sight of those out front, and light a cigarette.

There's movement from the adjacent dressing room.  Glass.  I'd nearly forgotten, in the insanity of preparations, that she was dressing here as well.  It certainly wouldn't do to have Iago see her before the game has begun, after all.  I smile at that and call out, "You can't hide in there all evening, pet.  Might as well come out and let me have a look."

[Open]

[It's midnight!  Wrapping up!]

Comments

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

She pauses, then smiles. "Nothing except for being a witness and..." Another pause, then "Um... I like you..."

I ain't sure what she's gettin' at so I toss my coat down in one 'a the nooks and sit down on it. "Yeah. I dunt really know you," I say, blushin' a bit 'cause we bin kissin' and whatnot and I dunt really know her, "but I like you."

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

He throws his coat down to the ground in one of those hidden places then sits on it. and I follow. I'd rather not be standing, looming above him for this conversation.
Yeah. I dunt really know you,but I like you. He says with a blush.

I look down at the grass between my feet then up again. I really don't want to ask the question I have. About does he like me more than the girl he lost? so I pick at the grass with my fingers.

"I'd like to get to know you." I say, picking my words as carefully I pick the stems of grass I'm playing with. "Properly. I sorta get the feeling I've met or seen you somewhere..." I trail off not quite wanting to finish the sentence. I think I know who he is but I saw a lot of people in the market last Saturday. And I don't know how he'll take it when he finds out who I am. Or what I am.

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

She looks kind 'a unsure. She looks down at the grass 'n picks a it some as she talks. "I'd like to get to know you. Properly. I sorta get the feeling I've met or seen you somewhere..." She trails off 'n yeah, I guess now she can see me she might recognize me, though I'm still tryin' t'figure out just who she is.

But what does she mean by properly? Like, steppin' out together? "I - I dunt know." I dint plan any 'a this when I came - heck, the only reason we ended up together's 'cause everyone went 'n left me. But I do like her... "I guess it depends on how you mean."

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

Johnny, if it is Johnny, looks confused. I - I dunt know. I guess it depends on how you mean.

Oh crap. This is getting harder to do. Just say it. or something like it.

"Um...I don't want to make you mad at me, later." I mumble, face going red.

I am so not good at this.

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

"Um...I don't want to make you mad at me, later," she says, and I think she's blushing. I ain't sure what t'make 'v all this - she dint seem t'have no problem dancin' with me, 'r kissin' me, and she dint object when I - um. The night air's drainin' away the sents 'n the warm glow 'a the punch, and I let myself fall back with a grunt.

"You can just tell me," I say, more flat 'n I meant to. I shouldn't 'a come as the hound-god - it seems t'have set the tone fer the night. I look over at her and try t'smile. "Fair warnin', if you dunt tell me soon I'll have t'kiss you again."

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

Johnny, and I'm getting more sure that this is him,Falls back a bit with a grunt. You can just tell me, He says flatly. I cringe sure that I've messed it all up. But he looks over at me and gives me a sorta smile, more an attempt at one than a success. It makes me feel better. Like I haven't just set a disaster in motion. Fair warnin', if you dunt tell me soon I'll have t'kiss you again.

I laugh at that. There's something like amusement, and relief in that laugh, as well as gratitude that he isn't making this so bad after all. That it might be alright. "Oh like that's a punishment!"

I look at him for a moment, "Um...I..." I turn my face away. "If I tell you, you probably won't want to kissme anymore." I say softly.

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

She laughs. "Oh like that's a punishment!" But then she gets serious and turns away. "Um...I... If I tell you, you probably won't want to kiss me anymore."

I dunt know what's wrong with her, but I prop myself up on my elbow 'n take her hand. "Okay, I promise no matter what it is, I'll give you at least one more kiss. Fair?" I can't think 'a what it'd be, but I guess in Excolo you ought t'be cautious.

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

I feel him take my hand. The feel of it steadies me, a little. I wind my fingers into his. Okay, I promise no matter what it is, I'll give you at least one more kiss. Fair?

His offer is more than fair if he will keep that promise. Oh, I hope he keeps it!

"Very fair. All things considered." I draw a breath. "I'm not exactly a woman."

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

"Very fair. All things considered." She takes a deep breath and then says "I'm not exactly a woman."

Um. I blink. I think I get confused at first, and then sort 'a anxious, but she's bin so nervous 'bout tellin' me that I try t'stay calm. "How d'you mean 'exactly'? 'Cause you obv - ." Thinkin' on it, she never said, and I just assumed that 'cause she dint smell like - . When did I start thinkin' 'v her as a girl? I think Glass said somethin' like that, and - . I lean in t'her and take a long smell, in the still and unclouded air.

It's strange. I'm real used t'figurin' stuff 'bout people based on how they smell. You can even tell what they're feelin' sometimes, and you can definitely tell if they're guys 'r girls. And while she smells kind 'a nervous and still a bit aroused she dunt smell like a guy.

But she dunt smell like a girl, neither. I feel that panicky feelin' rise again in my belly and try t'swallow it down, 'cause I did promise. "No, you ain't exactly a girl. But you sure ain't a guy, neither, and if you ain't one 'r the other...?" So long as I keep that panic locked down in me I'm more confused than anythin'.

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

How d'you mean 'exactly'? 'Cause you obv - He stops and thinks about it.

Then he leans in and is he sniffing at me? No, you ain't exactly a girl. But you sure ain't a guy, neither, and if you ain't one 'r the other...?

Is that panic trying to come out in his voice? I give his hand a reassuring squeeze.I wonder how he's so certain I'm not a guy? "Then I must be something in between." I manage to get out. "which I am."

I turn round then to look him in the face. He looks so confused. I feel bad about this but it would be so much worse if he found out the hard way.

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

She? gives my hand a squeeze like they're tryin' t'make me feel better 'bout the whole thing. "Then I must be something in between," she says, "which I am." She lifts her gaze and looks at me straight, 'n I can smell the worry on her? but I'm still tryin' t'figure this all out myself t'pay it much mind.

"I guess, I just - how's, how's that even work? I mean, everythin's either male 'r female. You can't not be either." Right? Every animal I can think of 's one 'r the other, and the Book says that God made us men and women, and fer good reason. "So," I say, still wrappin' my head 'round it, "you ain't a girl. But you ain't a guy either." And part 'a me's just a bit relieved with that, that whatever else at least I wasn't kissin' no guy.

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

Johnny's very confused but at least he;s not angry and he hasn't dropped my hand. He just asks, I guess, I just - how's, how's that even work? I mean, everythin's either male 'r female. You can't not be either.

A bitter smile comes to my lips at that."It doesn't work all that well. And I seem to be proof that it can happen."

Then he continues, you ain't a girl. But you ain't a guy either. At least he doesn't sound accusing, he just sounds confused. He's doing much better than anyone else I've had to tell. I'd like him just for that.

"There are words for this. In books. Means I can't have been the only one. But we seem to be really rare. Doctors said it was a birth defect."

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

Her? lips twist at my words. "It doesn't work all that well. And I seem to be proof that it can happen." What does she mean, it dunt... "Oh." I guess that's part 'a why they're tellin' me. "There are words for this. In books. Means I can't have been the only one. But we seem to be really rare. Doctors said it was a birth defect."

I... I guess I could see that. "I seen a cat once, as had two faces..." I blush then, 'cause that ain't the same at all. "Um. Sorry. I guess that dunt help none." I ain't sure what t'say t'h- "What d'I call you? I mean, I can't keep thinkin' 'her', right? And it ain't 'him' neither." It seems like such a small thing but it might be part 'a why I'm havin' so much trouble even startin' t'figure this out.

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

I'm glad we're still talking, however awkwardly it is. Johnny looks confused and is trying to figure things out. I'm glad he's willing to try. Even if it means he probably won't be interested in me anymore. Oh.


I seen a cat once, as had two faces... I make a face at that. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the word defect...At least he blushes and tries to apologize. Um. Sorry. I guess that dunt help none.

And then he changes the subject. What d'I call you? I mean, I can't keep thinkin' 'her', right? And it ain't 'him' neither.

I bite my lip. "I, uh, usually just let people pick one for me. Whichever one they want. Doesn't matter most times as they never get to really see me. So they don't have to know." I look down at the ground. And mumble, "You can use 'Their'."

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

She makes a face at that 'n I'm glad I figured it wouldn't be welcome. "I, uh, usually just let people pick one for me," she says. "Whichever one they want. Doesn't matter most times as they never get to really see me. So they don't have to know." She looks back away. "You can use 'Their'."

Fer a sec I want t'just keep usin' 'her', 'cause I understand that, and it'd keep things straight in my head. But I think s-they're lettin' me see them private-like, like they wouldn't share with no one else, 'n so I dunt. "'They' sounds a bit strange too," I say. But then I get it, maybe, a bit. "But it sort 'a works," I add, and I sit up. "It's kind 'a like if you was two people, like twins right, only one's a girl and one's a boy, only you just got the one body and the one mind." I feel kind 'a pleased with myself fer that one, though maybe they ain't likely t'see it like that.

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

"'They' sounds a bit strange too,But it sort 'a works,It's kind 'a like if you was two people, like twins right, only one's a girl and one's a boy, only you just got the one body and the one mind. He says, sitting up. He sounds much better, like he's sorted something out to his satisfaction. I look back at him and smile. It's not quite right but close enough.

"Some days it feels like that. Other times I feel more like one or the other." That would be in certain dreams, but I won't talk about that. Dreamwalking is a separate thing."Or just confused."

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

They smile at me, and they smell calmer like whatever they were worried 'bout ain't really at hand no more. "Some days it feels like that. Other times I feel more like one or the other. Or just confused."

I blink at that. "How can you be confused? I mean, me I get, but it's your body. I mean you lived with it all your life, right?" Just when I think I'm gettin' it, turns out there's more. It all seems too complicated.

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

He blinks at my last words, and I sigh. Damn, I shouldn't've said that last thing. "I-I get confused because I don't always know what I want. I often wish I was one or the other, it'd be easier."

I'd say more but I hear bells from inside the house. Lots more than before. Twelve, I think. "I think it's midnight. Even if it isn't I should take this off." I reach for my mask.

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

"I-I get confused because I don't always know what I want. I often wish I was one or the other, it'd be easier." Oh. "I - yeah, I guess so." There ain't much I can add t'that. I wonder if with all the things in Excolo if there weren't some way they could fix it how they wanted, but maybe they dunt even see it as somethin' t'fix.

There's bells goin' off in the house. ""I think it's midnight. Even if it isn't I should take this off," and they pull off their mask. Oh. "I do know you. You're - " I think back - "Damien, right? I showed you 'round some." And that same strange scent. I should 'a remembered. And then I can't help but laugh even if there's an edge t'it, 'cause I really got t'stop welcomin' young guys my age t'town.

Or, maybe not. The sound 'a the party gets louder fer a couple minutes, but then it dies down as some folks head fer home. I look over at them. "I still owe you that kiss."

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

I do know you. You're -Damien, right? I showed you 'round some. I nod. Then he starts laughing with an edge to it as if he's going hysterical. I wait to see if he'll stop soon or it gets worse. I hope not.

The back at the house the party is getting loud, guess other people are getting surprises as well. when it gets quieter he looks at me. I still owe you that kiss.

It's a pleasant surprise that after everything he heard, he still offers me a kiss. Makes me like him, a lot.

I give him a happier smile, "And I still want it."

I lean over to him but stop before our lips can touch. The next move is up to him.

[john-thiess.livejournal.com]

They smile at me. It's strange how easy it's becomin' t'think 'a them like that, and I'm glad they told me how t'say it, so my thoughts ain't all jumbled. "And I still want it," they say and them move right up so our noses are near touchin', and then they pause.

I hesitate. I feel bad fer it, but I hesitate. I know Damien as a guy, and without the mask it's east t'see the stronger features, which makes me see his figure like a guy with slim shoulders 'n a smoother face. But I remember thinkin' 'a them as a lean girl too, like Zann but taller 'n less bouncy. They're still Damien and the phantom girl in my head, and it's hard t'put 'em together.

In the end I just stop thinkin' 'bout it and move that last inch, pressin' my lips to their's and it's easy then, t'reach out 'n lay a hand on their shoulder 'n keep kissin' 'em, 'cause kissin' is easy and ain't complicated.