Dawn of Thursday, September Seventeenth

[brotherlaurence.livejournal.com]

He stinks and he's a drunkard, that bum we just passed by and I think but for the grace of God that likewise there go I.

I thought of going to see her.

I thought of stopping by to say hello or just to see her face or let her know that I'm alright, despite whatever she's heard, but the thought of her and the idea that she doesn't care one bit aches so much.

This is harder than when I quit drinking. And I have, again. It did nothing be land me asleep in my own bed with a headache and wondering what, if anything, I did to embarrass myself. But Kate, Kate. She is a harder thing to just give up.

But I think I do. I have prayed much and things have come back to me, things clouded by my feelings and my lust that once meant so much to me. They kind of do again, even though there's still a numbness, an emptiness there that makes me want to die.

I won't. This town, this world, someone needs me. God needs my assistance and he won't have it if I go join him before my time. So I don my robes and step out into the street, carefully keeping my eyes away from the store, and set off into the woods.


[OPEN.]
[CLOSED.]

Comments

[ella-kessler.livejournal.com]

I sit silently for a while, sippin' the tea an' thinkin' 'bout what he's said. Finally, I look up at him an' smile a little. "If all this is true," I pause. Part of me wants ta believe it but maybe I want'a just because it's sort'a an excitin' story. All this happenin' right here in my hometown. Nothin' like this has ever happened here. It's like bein' part'a somethin' big. Bigger'n an orchard an' a family that I have ta hold up.

"If it's true, an' this guy in the Tower, the Devil, right? If'n no god here is goin' ta stand against him, then that just leaves us, right? People. Like you an' me. Am I understandin' this right?"

[brotherlaurence.livejournal.com]

"Just us people," I repeat, nodding my head. "Just us." Well, not just us. Cain, Kaeli (perhaps), Kate...Hermia, Valmont would follow her anywhere. I'm sure there's more, but my mind is moving too quickly for me to focus. I touch Ella's shoulder lightly. "But through God all things are possible. And there will be enough of us. We will prevail."

[ella-kessler.livejournal.com]

I wonder, when he says "just us," how many of "us" there really are. An' whether I'm one'a them. I've never really been much'a community member 'round Excolo. Always been too busy on the farm.

"But through God all things are possible. And there will be enough of us. We will prevail."

I smile at Laurence. "I hope so. I should be gettin' back ta huntin', I think." The sun's startin' ta rise, which means I don't have much time left before the deer head deeper inta the woods. "D'you think you can find your way back ta town from here? The woods can get kind'a confusin' if you wander off the paths an' don't know 'em well."

[brotherlaurence.livejournal.com]

I nod and hand her back the cup, now empty.

"Of course," I say then stand. "I can find my way back, I think. Do come find me if you need anything. At the smithy. And be careful." I pat her shoulder lightly then head off back toward town, for once sure of what I must do.