Harvest Festival

[kateohara.livejournal.com]

Wednesday, September 23rd, early evening

From my bedroom I can hear a band tuning up outside. I smile and look out of the window. Stalls are being put up all along Main Street, and at the end nearest the river there's been a temporary stage erected. Bunting flutters in the breeze, and I smile, because we have two things to celebrate today - the harvest, and Edmund's win. I am so happy for him! That good news, along with the meeting we had on Monday, has left me feeling quite optimistic. It's true that we didn't find anything in particular to help us, but we started to get some ideas, and maybe more importantly I think it helped to know that there was a group of us willing to act. We've arranged to meet regularly, and I think good things should come of our meetings. I plan to spend some time in the library during the week, too, to try to make myself useful. I don't have any specialist knowledge about any of these things, unlike some of my friends, so I have some learning to do.

I wasn't sure what to wear. I thought about the dress I wore to Hermia's party, because with a jacket it would be warm enough, but I decided it would be a little dressy. Besides, if I see Laurence tonight, I don't want to remind him of an event we went to together. I feel a little cramp as I think of Laurence, but all the same, I hope I see him today... It's been a few days, and I want to see him for myself so that I know he is well, or as well as can be expected. That doesn't help me decide what I want to wear, because I don't want to appear like I am too lighthearted because that will hurt his feelings, but I don't want him to think I look plain. Which is selfish of me, really, and I shouldn't care if he has a low opinion of me. But I do. In the end I take out a sober but fitted navy wool dress. I don't think I've worn this since last autumn... I check my hair in the mirror again and touch up my lipstick, and then I go outside.

I see Mrs Wilson and Amanda manning the raffle stall, so I of course stop and buy a couple of tickets. Amanda looks happy and excited, but Mrs Wilson looks so careworn these days. She still hasn't heard from Edith; no one knows where she went after she attacked Jamie's sister. It's a horrible thing... I see another stall where you can pay a dollar and throw a wet sponge at someone. Toby Hutchinson seems to have volunteered to sit in the chair, but he seems like the council member least likely to have people throw things at him... I spot that a couple of the Saturday market traders have put up stalls selling knicknacks and laces and ribbons... And there's the abbey stall, which is selling homemade ginger ale and apple juice... John Longfellow, Terence Longfellow's nephew, is with the band. They are playing some cheerful country music, and I know once they get going there'll be a few girls standing around, because although he's not the handsomest young man, John has a good voice and a fine smile, and that seems to be enough. I wonder who else will be playing tonight?

I sit down on a bench and watch things begin to come together. It looks like it should be a lovely evening.

[open]

Comments

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

Seems's to've actually confused her, and I wait patient as she works it out. Her hands are winding in her skirt, and the flow and hem of it is damp; I'd thought only that it'd not had a chance to dry after washing, but it rather fits with the nature she's claiming.

"I am...I am a part of the River but it is my creator." Bit of both, then; I'm minded of the way Kate's god is God, and both father and son as well. Nod absently.

"Well enough, then," I say, leaning against the side of the bench. "Is Leah your name, or one someone in Excolo gave you? And what've you learned, in your nineteen days?"

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

Glass stands there waiting for me to give her the answer. She nods when I speak it, leaning against Kate's bench. Then more questions. Is Leah your name, or one someone in Excolo gave you? And what've you learned, in your nineteen days?

I nod in response to the first question. "Yes, my name is Leah." Then I pause, because I have learned so many things and there are so many more to learn. "I have learned much. How to manage a body... and talk and sing! Did you know that there are so many languages that one person cannot learn them all?!" I start to list off things I have learned but there are so many. And all so fascinating! I don't know how long it would take to list all the things I have learned.

[kateohara.livejournal.com]

I'm really not sure what to make of this. Leah is... part of the river. Does that make her another god? Or is she something else? How many more strange things can our town hold?

"Are you what people call a god?" I ask her at last. Although I would expect a god not to have to learn everything from scratch...

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

"I have learned much. How to manage a body... and talk and sing! Did you know that there are so many languages that one person cannot learn them all?!"

"No-one that's not got a touch of the odd t'them, surely," I say dryly. "Think there may be a couple in town who've got an uncommon good chance at it, though." Though if she was brought t'see Lydia--or t'be in the Library with her--she might seep on the books. Bad idea, that. "Can you read?"

"Are you what people call a god?" Kate says carefully.

"Not what I call one," I murmur. "Hopefully that'll not change."

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

Think there may be a couple in town who've got an uncommon good chance at it, though. There are people in this town who have a chance at knowing or learning all the languages! I want to meet them! Glass' next question drags my attention back though. Can you read?

"Oh yes!" and then my excitement drops a bit. I shuffle my feet as I admit, "But only in English and Spanish."

Then Kate drops her question on me.Are you what people call a god?

"I...don't know. I don't think I am. The River might be." I frown. This is what I was trying to figure out when I went to the River on Monday night. It didn't know either. Then I catch Glass murmuring something Not what I call one,

I look enquiringly at her. "What do you call a god?"

[kateohara.livejournal.com]

"Well, I only speak and read English, so I wouldn't worry too much," I say to Leah. It feels strange to be comforting a river - spirit? - about not speaking more than two languages...

"If you don't think you're a god, you're probably not," I say. "I think they usually know... I wonder if knowing is part of being a god," I say thoughtfully. "If you forget your nature, what are you?" That's rather more of a Glass question than a Kate question, I think. I wait to see what Glass will say in response to Leah's question.

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

"Oh yes! But only in English and Spanish."

"Fine start, I'm sure." Definitely the Library, if she can keep her hands dry. "Imagine you'll be able t'find books that'll let you learn things, at least."

And then she looks up and over at me, and asks "What do you call a god?"

...oh spit and staunchweed, do not tempt me.

I'm not taking her for having a particular grasp of sarcasm yet, and I temper my tongue and think.

"A god," I say, picking out the words carefully, carefully, and giving Kate an apologetic glance, "is an idea that's grown to think of itself as a person, and is tied to and shapes the way that idea's set out in the world. And sometimes they come walking in the world in the shape of folk, and when they do that--" remember stories of Kate's god, again-- "at least when they've done it here in Excolo--they are selfish things and they don't see folk as people and the best you can hope for if you're not another god is to be their favoured pet or be ignored."

"I wonder if knowing is part of being a god. If you forget your nature, what are you?"

"Something closer to human, for a while," I say quietly, thinking of Verdi before she began to remember herself. Still light and near to giddy and a touch absent, but... closer to consequences, less of a spoilt child, somehow.

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

Well, I only speak and read English, so I wouldn't worry too much, Kate says to me in a kind voice. Followed by Glass', Fine start, I'm sure.Imagine you'll be able t'find books that'll let you learn things, at least.

and while I'm thinking about that...If you don't think you're a god, you're probably not,I think they usually know... I wonder if knowing is part of being a god,If you forget your nature, what are you?

Confused. At least that's what I've been whenever I think about what exactly am I.

But here Glass is staring at me and her mouth moves a bit before she speaks slowly and carefully each word balanced upon the one that came before. It is both like and unlike the way Maryk spoke of the one that helped and then hurt Karina.

A god,is an idea that's grown to think of itself as a person, and is tied to and shapes the way that idea's set out in the world. And sometimes they come walking in the world in the shape of folk, and when they do that--at least when they've done it here in Excolo--they are selfish things and they don't see folk as people and the best you can hope for if you're not another god is to be their favoured pet or be ignored.

Ah! This is a more complete and complex definition than the one Maryk gave me. I will take this back to the River tonight and together we will think on it and decide if Pontarlier is a god. It may be that it is not but there are things about it that seem to suggest it has some of the qualities that define a god by either definition. Another question rises in my mind.

"Is it possible to become a god? or to stop being one?"

[kateohara.livejournal.com]

"Glass has had poor experiences with gods," I say drily. "She does not necessarily have a good opinion of them, with fair cause." I give Glass a wry look. "There are all sorts of gods, and not all of them will treat humans badly... But Excolo has attracted a dangerous assortment." I wonder if I should try to distinguish between my God, and Nanshe, and the walking gods, but I think maybe that's a lesson for another time. "You can pray to gods," I say, to try to explain them a bit further. "And sometimes they will do things for you in return." That's not it, not for me, at least... Prayer is its own reward. But how to explain that, too? And I think a lot of the gods here do treat prayer and worship as a reward or price for their help.

Leah asks if someone can become a god. This conversation is moving quickly beyond my skill, but I struggle on.

"I don't think so... Romans - they were an ancient race - used to think their emperors, that's a ruler, could become gods when they died," I say, glad of the reading I have done lately. "But that was just a superstition, I think. Gods are an idea that people had. I don't know that people can turn into ideas."

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

"Glass has had poor experiences with gods. She does not necessarily have a good opinion of them, with fair cause." Tosses me a dry look and I smile a little.

"I did say those who came t'Excolo in the flesh," I murmur. "Nanshe's nothing to complain over, and even the one who speaks through a man rather than walking in his own flesh is kind. And Hermia's Athena, and your own God, I've seen no cruelty in them."

"You can pray to gods," Kate says, stumbling a little. "And sometimes they will do things for you in return," and I think of Simon, and the voice of Azrael, great and grave and silent, and even the scraped familiarity of the terror the Shuck brought to my bones.

"You can mind what they are," I say, looking questioning at Kate, stop me if I haven't the right of this? "And maybe then you come to understand what they are better, and they--" Dammit, words again. "The idea of them, you come closer to it. Come to terms."

"Is it possible to become a god? or to stop being one?" And my mouth pulls back and for a second I'm showing my teeth in the Shuck's grin and mother's bones, why would you want to? But Kate's speaking, and I'm glad one of us is setting things out steady.

"I don't think so... Romans - they were an ancient race - used to think their emperors, that's a ruler, could become gods when they died." Look at Kate thoughtful, and I think yes, that could happen. But I leave off arguing, for I think it'd be a matter of missing seeds by splitting leaves. May be that Leah'll set out her own mind on things in time. "Gods are an idea that people had. I don't know that people can turn into ideas."

"In that matter, I'm minded to agree," I say. "As to leaving off being a god... they can forget, for a while. Lose track of themselves and become less of the idea, and if they're walking the world when that happens... they come closer t'being people." I look over to Leah and shrug. "Not a sure answer, but best I can set out."

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

You can pray to gods,And sometimes they will do things for you in return.

so many new ideas! So many new questions! I turn to Kate. "What is pray? and what what sort of things might a god do in return for it?"

Could Maryk or I pray to Lugh and have him help Karina sleep?

Then Kate says she doesn't think people can become gods. Because...because I think it's because a god has to be an idea and people are are different, not ideas.

Then I am distracted by Glass' response to my questions. Her lips pull back and it is not a smile or a grin which is really only a bigger sort of smile.This looks unhappy and maybe mean.

You can mind what they are,And maybe then you come to understand what they are better, and they-- The idea of them, you come closer to it. Come to terms.

i'm not quite getting what she's saying but maybe i'll be able to figure it out later when there aren't so many questions.
As to leaving off being a god... they can forget, for a while. Lose track of themselves and become less of the idea, and if they're walking the world when that happens... they come closer t'being people.

"Closer to being people? How close? what is the thing that makes someone a person rather than a god or not-god? and what so you call a not-god, not-person?"

Glass names some gods and but none of the ones she names are Lugh...

oh! I should ask her and Kate what they know of Lugh! "Um...Kate, Glass? Can I ask what you know of a god called Lugh?"

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

"What is pray? and what what sort of things might a god do in return for it?" and I catch the look on Kate's face. I've never prayed nor gotten anything for it, but I've seen her say grace and thanks--think I have some idea of how cheap the idea of it being service for service rather than love for care strikes her.

"Praying," I say dryly, "is how one comes to the attention of a god when that god is not walking round on Main Street or Silk Road."

"Closer to being people? How close? what is the thing that makes someone a person rather than a god or not-god? and what so you call a not-god, not-person?"

"Oh, lots of things. It depends." I shrug. "I might call something that's not a god or a person a cat, or a rock, or an oddity, or yet a sunrise. Depends on what it is. And afore we slip to your other questions, you might care t'explain what you mean by person, and why you think a person must be different from something that's not-god."

And then she looks like she's getting an idea, which I'm taking for a better sign than her only slicing at words. "Um...Kate, Glass? Can I ask what you know of a god called Lugh?"

...Wednesdays.

"Many things," I say, sitting on the bench aside Kate. Set aside the liar for a moment, and think on the god--gods? ah, mam, what're stories but ideas spun out?--and I think I could tell the tales much as she told them, but I think as well it'd be rather a deeper cut to memory than I'm minded to take at the moment.

"There's Llew who was cursed by his mother to never be named or armed or wed as a man, and whose uncle saw his skills and tricked his mother with them, and so he was named Llew Llaw Gyffes and armed with a spear and given a wife made of flowers. His wife betrayed him with a huntsman and killed him when he was between all things--" I am not explaining Llew being killed when it could not be done by can nor can't, not under eaves nor sky, not on water nor land, not astride nor afoot, not clothed nor naked, nor by any weapon lawfully made-- "as winter came on. And his uncle brought him back and Llew killed the huntsman in the same manner as he'd been killed, and summer came on and the days grew bright and the land grew rich.

"And there's Lugh son of two peoples set against each other, who was meant t'be drowned at birth and was stolen away and raised by his uncle t'have all manner of skills, and so came to the court of his father's people. He led them in battle against Balor the king who was father of his mother, and killed him and ruled. He let live his people's betrayer in trade showing them how to harvest, and keeping the harvest thick. And he took a wife," several, actually, "and she betrayed him with another. So Lugh killed that man and that man's sons drowned him.

"And then there's Lugh walking Excolo. He's fights quick and brutal, and near-murdered a man in the street for striking back when struck. He takes pride in being a liar and he bit a woman who loved him and scarred her to never heal. He sets himself up to pass judgment on what sins can and cannot be redeemed, and he is wrong in that judgment, and whether it's for his being a fool or being a liar I couldn't tell you. His wife is the goddess of discord and wears others' forms for her amusement and their pain, and her brother's the god of war." I pause a moment, wondering if I've left anything out. "They have very rich parties," I add.

"And in case you were minded to ask, a sin is a mar on the soul, and the soul's a matter for cautious discussion. Call it part of what makes a person a person, and leave it at that for now."

[kateohara.livejournal.com]

It seems like for every answer we have, Leah has ten more questions. Which I understand, but... I'm not sure how equipped I am to answer them.

"If you want to talk about gods," I say, "you could do worse than talk to someone at the abbey. They are well read in these things," I say. I'd rather send Leah off to the abbey than to a god, in any case... "As for Lugh, I don't really know him. He and his wife held a party, and it was very pretty. He runs the newspaper, which is printed from time to time, and mostly uses it to spread trouble. I couldn't tell you if that was for mischief or for an attempt to do good." I shrug. "His wife Eris is dangerous, but she's also sad. I feel pity for her, but I don't trust her."

This conversation, along with Laurence running away from me, has quite dampened my good mood. I find myself wanting to make an escape. I feel like I should stay with Leah, but that's silly; she's not a child. She's not even a human, and God alone knows what she can do. Flood the street? I almost laugh at that, but I breathe in and out to settle my jangling nerves.

"I'm going to buy myself a snack," I say, "and perhaps see if I can guess the number of candies in the jar. If you can guess," I say to Leah, "you get to win all the candy." I smile at her and Glass and stand up.

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

So much information! Glass tells me three stories about Lugh. And there are mentions of sins and souls but She tells me that those are a matter for another time or discussion.

And Kate tells me that I can ask my questions about gods and such to the Abbey. I am happy to know that there are places filled with learning I can go to learn. perhaps I will go there as soon as Karina is better. I might even go there to ask how to make her better.

She also tells me of Lugh and his wife Eris. and then she declares that she's going to buy herself a snack, and explains about the candy jar guessing game at a nearby booth. By the way she hurries off, I wonder if I did something wrong with asking all my questions.

I turn back to Glass. "Thank you for for all the answers. You have both been kind."

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

"I'm going to buy myself a snack," Kate says, getting to her feet, "and perhaps see if I can guess the number of candies in the jar. If you can guess, you get to win all the candy."

"I'll see you, then," I say. "Monday, perhaps?" Haven't brought over wine and something from the Cockaigne in a while... 's always nice to pass time with her.

And somewhere in the back of my head I'm thinking dammit, Kate, don't leave me here-- and trying not to laugh... Ah, not so bad, truly.

"Thank you for for all the answers," Leah says, turning to me after Kate excuses herself. "You have both been kind."

"Call it patient," I say mildly. "Listen, d'you know where the Library is, on Main?" Indicate it. "'m thinking you ought go by there, provided you can keep from dripping on any books, and find a dictionary. Won't be perfect, but might let conversations get a touch farther afore you start stumbling over words you don't know."

Lean back on the bench, tilting my head curious at Leah. "So why're you thinking a person needs be different from something that's not a god?"

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

Glass points out the library and says I should go there and find a dictionary to help me get further in conversations. I draw myself up straighter at her saying I should only go there if I can keep from dripping on the books. I arch the eyebrow at her and say, "I never drip on books! You can ask Karina or Maryk!"

And then she tilts her head an gives me her thinking look before asking,So why're you thinking a person needs be different from something that's not a god?

"I...I don't know..." I admit as I twine a strand of my hair around my fingers andthink about what I said.

"Maybe it's because I think there might be three groups of of ...folk? People, gods and those that aren't either or who might be something else? I don't know what I am. and I may need more words to make this idea make sense."

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

"I...I don't know... Maybe it's because I think there might be three groups of of ...folk?" Nod as she goes on. "People, gods and those that aren't either or who might be something else? I don't know what I am. and I may need more words to make this idea make sense."

"You say people," I say thoughtful, "you meaning human only, man or woman or child with no oddity or strangeness to speak of? For I understand it, if that's what you mean, but I'm not sure it's a fine distinction to be making." Especially not in this town. "I know some who're clear not human, but I'd still call them people. And some are human, and yet have a strangeness to them, by birth or by intent. Think you might go mad if you set yourself to trying to set out the marker exact where one ends and the other begins."

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

You say people," I say thoughtful, "you meaning human only, man or woman or child with no oddity or strangeness to speak of? For I understand it, if that's what you mean, but I'm not sure it's a fine distinction to be making." Especially not in this town. "I know some who're clear not human, but I'd still call them people. And some are human, and yet have a strangeness to them, by birth or by intent. Think you might go mad if you set yourself to trying to set out the marker exact where one ends and the other begins.

Glass puts my muddled statements in order and by doing so shows me where I need to put more thought into it. "I need to do more thinking and maybe find a better definition of human and person. Especially as I find humans to be very strange at times." I smile at her. "but I also really like them! They are so fascinating."

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

"I need to do more thinking and maybe find a better definition of human and person. Especially as I find humans to be very strange at times," and she smiles, "but I also really like them! They are so fascinating."

"We've been accused of that, yes," I say, smiling a little. Taking her for being easier to pass time with when she's speaking her mind rather than chasing words. "Are you keeping that you're riverborn a secret, while you're in Excolo?"

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

Glass smiles at me and says one of her less than clear statements. I wonder if this is an exaggeration like Karina and Maryk taught me that day by the River.

Then she asks, Are you keeping that you're riverborn a secret, while you're in Excolo?

I stare at her in surprise. "Why should I? Is there a reason to not tell people."

[glass-beddau.livejournal.com]

Stares at me in startlement, and I think her expressions and tones are fine enough apt for normal... wonder if that comes with the idea of being shaped into a human, or if she's learnt it from Karina and Maryk. "Why should I? Is there a reason to not tell people."

Spit and staunchweed, if that's not a reminder that she's nineteen days old... Glad I'm not needing t'explain the concept of a secret, though.

"A few you might care t'keep in mind," I say dryly. "Many'll take you for mad or lying; either could lead them to speaking t'you less free, out of mislike or mistrust. And announcing yourself as something strange might unnerve folk, and folk frightened or unnerved are prone to trying to drive out that which they blame for their troubles. Excolo's been quieter of late, but it was still a touch of a strange summer."