I've spent too many years at war with myself, and the Doctor has told me it's no good for my health

[marbasthefallen.livejournal.com]

Wednesday, September 24th
Late enough that it is way too early
The backyard of The Dormouse

Lilith chided me to no end; calling me a sentimental fool and overly attached to the talking monkey.

And she was not wrong, not in the slightest. I was... I could not call Lucien Constantine a friend, but I had a great deal of respect for the man. Perhaps, many eons ago, before... we might have even liked one another.

In the form of smoke on the air, I slipped into the Tavern. For the obvious reasons, I could not attend in human form, but I felt the need to be there. To hear the stories, the taste the tears, to smile at the laughs and ridiculous stories. There were many of those. And there were many stories of how he helped, how we saved, how he cared. In the end... Lucien was a good man, respected and loved. It sat well with me, and it was odd that I felt it needed to.

Perhaps I am still too much of what I once was, and could never truly be again.

Dawn is coming, and My Lady waits on me for us to depart this accursed town, but I have one thing left to do. For him. I settle into my human form, and wait under her tree.

Open to Wanda

You can't stand up to the night until you understand what's hiding in its shadows.

[damien-dw.livejournal.com]

Wednesday, 24th of September
The Abbey



With one thing and another it takes me a few days to actually get out here. My fear about that little pile of mirror pieces turned out to be justified. It seems like every one of them turned into something like that nightmare that followed me out of my dream. So I sent out a call and only a few of them bothered to show up. Those that did, at least take orders willingly and one of my first such was to tell them to find and bring back any of their siblings that can. I then conjured a big jar with scenes done in the Greek style for them to gather and wait for me in.

Almost as disturbing  is the difficulty I am having in waking up these days. And how I'm always so tired while awake. At first when the pain was fresh this was easy to explain. And I was spending so much of my time asleep and dreaming. And It's not like Dorian would fire me just for not being able to work right now. I did send him a note right after I woke up that first day after the gate closed.  So that's all right, for now.  The salve is working and the pain is pretty much gone, leaving an itch in its place. It still looks bad and may look worse when it starts peeling. but I have beenassured that it should heal up just fine. I'm still a bit worried about my voice but I've been drinking lots of tea with honey when i'm awake so it should hopefully be alright. I hope.

And there was the wake for the doctor. I went because I felt that i should, but I felt so uncomfortable most of the evening. Some of it was guilt, for not stopping Icelus sooner. And some of it was because I hardly knew him. He seemed like a nice guy. And  people in this town really liked him. And he was the only other guy in town with hair anywhere near as long as mine, let along longer, which I think it might have been.

I decided in the end that maybe I should have this discussion outside of the dreamlands as I would rather not have to deal with the nightmares during it. if Nanse-kam wants to see them I can show him later. It's very nice to still  have at least one friend who can enter the dreamlands pretty much at will like I can. ( I still miss Nanshe)


I walk into the abbey  and call out, "Hello?"



[Open to Nanse-Kam]

'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

[pirate-mystic.livejournal.com]

Wednesday, the 24th of September
Town

Everythin's changed.

I felt her go, my goddess, sinking down through me into the land, and I sat up from where I was huddled in that doorway and I saw everythin' clear, just for that moment.

First thing I done's open up my bag and take out that mask and smash it, butt of my rifle hard into it. Cracked right down the middle, into two pieces. Can feel my mind cloudin' up again so I wrap it up in my coat an get up. Don't know where she went, Nanshe, but I'm gonna find out, and get me fixed up too. Somethin' happened to her and I was too busy runnin' round thinkin' everyone was out to get me. I let her down.

Gettin' dark when I come by the Abbey. Door opens in the dimness, yellow light all welcomin'. I got a lot of fixin' and mendin' to do, and it's time I got started.

[Closed]