Nothing thicker than a knife's blade separates happiness from melancholy.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

Evening of Tuesday, 12 June; The Tavern of Hell

It is these pauses that are our undoing. It is then that sedition enters the fortress and our troops rise in insurrection. Once before he had paused, and love with its horrid rout, its shawms, its cymbals, and its heads with gory locks torn from the shoulders had burst in....

I wore this body here once. It was a wet night; I remember how this body stumbled, a knee going down into the dirt. The witch's mouth on mine, tasting of cigarettes. I was grieving for the Night Wind then; I am always grieving for him, it seems. Or myself. It is a fine line.

That grief was for how he had betrayed me, what he had made me feel. This grief... If I did not know better, I would say it has a taste of regret to it. That is a different savour than other sorrows; a bilious feeling, a sick pain under the ribs.  (Bodies are so useful for these articulations.) Something that feels regret can feel remorse, and that can lead to reconciliation; and those are things I will never have.

I thought I had known sorrow; but these feelings are - different enough in a way that is... unbearable. I have endured for so long. But not for much longer. I have decided to move matters on apace, faster than I planned. I had thought to wait until Rose was ready for her first blood; the symbolism appealed. But though I think she would reach that in three years, I am impatient now, as I have not been in a long time.

Come, reap.

I pick up my glass and drain it.

[Open]

Comments

[marbasthefallen.livejournal.com]

I could feel him even across this continent. It would have been impossible not to. Even Lilith sighed and rolled her eyes once we realized his discontent was so far reaching that it permeated the air.

"Well. Go see what's got his panties in a twist. We'll be here."

So with a last lingering kiss to My Lady and a hug for our CeCe, I became fire on the wind and followed His signature all the way back to this hell on earth. And even better, the Carnival is here. I have a pretty good guess as to the root of this.

Thank's to CeCe and Lilith, I have been able to affect a new guise. To anyone without untrained eyes, I am just a newcomer to town. But I am certain my true form must burn like a paper in a flame to Him, or to anyone of our ilk.

I enter the Tavern and spot Iblis immediately, even though I have never seen this particular form before. His terrible beauty shimmers, even below the angular, androgynous face. His grief is sharp. I wish to both taste it and soothe it at the same time. Only He and My Lady could ever move me in two such directions at once.

"Only you could call me back to this place, Beautiful One." I say softly, taking the seat beside the form. "May I buy you a drink?"

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

He may have a new face, but he still has the wet smell of hothouse flowers to him. Lilith and her ridiculous garden. I take out a cigarette and light it.

"I have a drink already," I say coolly. I exhale smoke. "So you are back. Has family life bored you already?"

[marbasthefallen.livejournal.com]

Oh, and aren't we in a proper snit? I nod to the bartender and point to the vodka as Iblis lights up a cigarette.

"So you are back. Has family life bored you already?"

Shake my head slowly and sip the drink and think how to answer. "We have found a place that suits and keeps us entertained well enough..." I was always welcomed down by the gulf, and the humid climate serves Lilith and her garden well. "But I felt you rippling in the air and thought I should come see you."

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

"I don't know why," I say mildly, when Marbas said he thought he should come and see me. "You have chosen where your loyalties lie. How is my former paramour?" Lilith. She would not lie on her back for any man, and now here she is, settled in domestic bliss with a lover and a child. How the mighty have fallen.

[marbasthefallen.livejournal.com]

"Call it a cat's curiosity." I reply just as mildly, recalling just exasperating he can be. "You really expected to..." Wave my hand about as I look for the right word. "telegraph your discontent so loudly and not attract attention?" Arch my eyebrow and take a sip.

"And Lilith is... Lilith. The new Voudon Queen of what might have once been New Orleans." She holds the whole of the area in her thrall, with her High Priestess and fiery lion avatar by her side.

"And how go things here? How grows the Rose garden?" I know the child still lives, but so many children have come before this one...

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

I ignore Marbas's comment about attracting attention, because it seems hardly relevant. He says that Lilith is a queen in New Orleans, and I laugh a little.

"I can imagine that." I lift my chin to the bartender, and he refills my glass. "Well, let her enjoy her glory while she can, in these last days."

"And how go things here? How grows the Rose garden?"

"Fast." I sip the bourbon, roll it across my tongue. "She is a clever child; headstrong, but eager to please. Her mother is the mayor now," and I raise my eyebrows gently. "The townsfolk have mostly forgotten her less reputable days, and she is settled down as a wife, mother, and politician. Excolo is such a forgiving town." I draw on my cigarette again, and then pinch it out and tuck it behind my ear for a moment. I fold my hands on the bar.

[marbasthefallen.livejournal.com]

These last days? Has so much happened to further his ambitions? Or has something happened to make Iblis crave oblivion that much more?

Rose is growing fast, but that is not so unusual amongst children of our kind... CeCe appears to all as a teen-aged girl.

"She is a clever child; headstrong, but eager to please. Her mother is the mayor now," Choke a little on my vodka at that. "The townsfolk have mostly forgotten her less reputable days, and she is settled down as a wife, mother, and politician. Excolo is such a forgiving town."

"So her craving to self destruct has finally abated... good for her." Laugh a little and drain my glass. Lucien would be proud of her, I think. "I doubt very much the town is that forgiving, though. If I were to put on my former face and walk through town, I am betting I would end up the target of a lynch mob. And those do get tedious after a few centuries." But he is not in a mood to talk, or take a stroll down memory lane.

"Are we that close, then?" I finally ask, quietly. I manage to close down all emotions but simple curiosity. To show anything but that would be unwise.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

"Are we that close, then?"

I inspect my glass; light prisms off the crystal.

"Soon enough, if matters go as I hope." I drink my whisky. "Will you miss all this?"

[marbasthefallen.livejournal.com]

"Soon enough, if matters go as I hope." I merely nod at that, keeping the small relief that it is not a sure thing yet buried well and deep. Does the child know of his intentions? Is she complicit in Iblis' grand design, or just a pawn?

"Will you miss all this?"

The bartender comes over and refills my vodka as I consider it.

"I never tired of this existence like you did. I enjoy watching the rise and fall of civilizations." Enjoyed aiding in that crest and fall as well. All it ever took was well formed words in fanatic's ears, or ego and pride stoked... It was always so fascinating to see what would be lost, what humanity would take and improve on, which mistakes they would make again and again.

"I will miss it." I concede, for Iblis knows I would be lying if I said I would not, or find ways to extract the truth from me. Better to admit to this than to not wanting the end to come at all.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

"There are things worth missing," I say, "of course. Or its destruction would be less satisfying, would it not?" I sip the whisky, taste the burn of it on my tongue. "But it must end one day; and I would rather the end came on my terms. Will you stay to watch? Or would you rather wait for the end with your," my lip curls a little, "family?"

[marbasthefallen.livejournal.com]

On anyone or anything else, the disdain would be ugly. Iblis has always worn it beautifully.

I consider my drink for a long time. Will the end truly come this time? There has been talk and plans before Excolo. I would like to think there will be talk and plans after Excolo as well. And I can be back with Lilith and Celeste in a matter of heartbeat ts...

"I will stay for a time, أخي، يا رب." As I grow to miss Lilith after a time, I also grow to miss Him. I am sure the feeling will abate after a few weeks within his company.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

I nod.

"I may call on you, then, if I require your services. It is more entertaining to participate than to merely observe, no?" I finish my second drink and set down the glass.

[marbasthefallen.livejournal.com]

We shall see if Iblis' grand ambitions play out they way they are intended to. We shall see.

"You have not needed me in a millennia or so," Drain my glass and set it down. My eyes kindle into flame as I look at Him. "But if I can be of some assistance, feel free to call upon me."

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

"I will," I say, swinging off my bar stool. "And put those eyes away before you draw attention to yourself." I set money down on the bar, and make my way out. I have had enough idle conversation for today.