estdeus_innobis | Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die, Passing through nature to eternity

Saturday, July 4th [Day 399]
Just after midnight or so
The Carnivale trailer lot

Gasping, grasping, sheets twisted 'round my legs. Restless since that day, since the spinning, since that dance. Fire behind his eyes, lion in his smile, the brush of his lips on my fingers- and he was so-

I pulled away after Arik complimented me. I thanked him for the dance, pulled away & just left. Told myself it was just the exertion of the dance that had flushed my face, that made my heart beat so hard. But it wasn't. It was his fire I pulled away from.

But it was too late, I think. The fire spread. And now I am burning on the inside.

I should have left, shouldn't have stayed, shouldn't have danced-

-but I chose to stay, didn't I? Chose to dance & enjoy & be &-

Bolt upright in my bed, shivering & burning. There's a sickness in my gut & I have to run outside before I puke in my trailer. Just make it to the bin outside before it comes up.

I've felt like this before. That day with Dana, when we sat near the river... & she wouldn't tell me what I'd done.

Then I feel it, like a blast of heat from an explosion; a surge, another surge of power from Excolo, with a roar that echoes in my skull. I all but double over from it. "The gate," someone says through the din in my head, "one comes for us." Wait. For me, it's me talking. "We must go." And I'm standing, slow, & walking back to my trailer. There is one who needs judging, needs passage. My body is calm now. We must go.

We close our eyes and see the gate. Valley of green surrounds and a sense of home with warm skies. We hold the scales and wait for him, eyes of blackest night shining with... She is...

We wipe a tear from my face. I have a duty. So I wait.

From the mountain we see him, so young, so peaceful. Long gold hair smelling of the forest. He approaches and I extend my hand to him, but...

I know him. No, I- we must be calm, but I know him, Doc-

He suddenly stiffens & falls to his knees, clutching at his breast, his heart. We have not done this, something else- Then we hear her laugh. The wind blows the scent of apples and he is gone. And I breath a sigh of relief. "Not his time," I whisper, back in my trailer, cold & sick with fever again. "th-thank you..." & my room fades to black & vertigo takes me & I fall-

[Closed]