For what human ill does not dawn seem to be an alleviation?

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

[Early morning of Sunday, June 27 (day 392)]
[Out in the park]

I smell like beer. Which, since it's oh-god-early on a Sunday morning, sometime between breakfast and church, would be kinda embarrassing if I'd been drinking.

Yesterday was such a soup that I ended up going to bed early (well, early for a Saturday); woke up in the quiet time before dawn and lay awake for a bit watching the wall. There's a blank spot where the blueprint Kent gave me used to be, I used it in the music box, and now Genny's shades-of-grey sketch of my Carousel and the perfect crisp black-on-white Soon. from Management are flanking empty space. Can't really make them out in the dark, but I know they're there.

So I got up and went out and went for a walk,

I went to the Miskatonic because hey--jukebox, how can you go wrong with a jukebox? It helped, it really did. So I was sitting down with coffee to listen to the music when I saw Cain and someone I didn't place heading up the street and not dawdling at all, so I went out to see where they were going and, well, the Abbey is not an unfriendly place so I figured I'd stop by and ask what was going on, or more specifically what broke.

I don't have a lot of experience working with brewing equipment (and there's a faint flicker of guilt, remembering Tez), but a ball valve is a ball valve, right? And cracks and leaks are pretty much the same all over.

So we got the distillery patched up and then cleaned up, and they were nice enough to spot breakfast, and I've got that tired content feeling you get after a good long job. Nice to know I can still improvise, if I need to, even with everything that's changed--and if I can't get what needs fixing, I can still fix.

I'll head home in a bit, but right now I'm just killing a moment in the park. My stomach's full and the tea's keeping me awake and life? Life is honestly feeling pretty good right now. Light a cigarette and stretch out my feet and watch the world go by, and I'm grinning, I can feel it.

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[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

Okay, memo to self: Although more like my younger self, all nighter's with Lannie still make early morning calls a bitch. Coffee is needed. Or bed. But there's a Lannie in the bed...

so coffee is in order.

Easier to cut back to town from the Jenkin's farm through the park. It's a nice enough morning, so the walk is more a stroll. Even my bag doesn't seem as heavy as it normally does on a walk back from town.

Turn the corner, and hey! There's a familar mop of hair. Smiling, I cross over and drop down beside here.

"Got a cigarette to spare?"

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

"Doc!" and I'm squeaking a bit, but what the hell, it's good to see him, and I lean 'round and hug him with one arm, dig out a cigarette with my other hand and I'm starting to hold it out to him when I remember he can't do that anymore, light it off the end of mine before I hand it over.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in ages. You look okay for being out so early--" and I frown a bit, 'cause I just think I realized something and I feel like I should have caught it earlier. Little things that don't lead into everything else the way they used to, notes standing alone out of time and out of tune. "For coming back so early?" I guess. "Everyone gonna be okay?" and then something else occurs to me. "Hey, how far outta town can you get?"

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

Hugs and cigarettes, can't ask for more.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in ages. You look okay for being out so early-- For coming back so early? Everyone gonna be okay?"

"Coming back, and yes, everyone will live." I smirk, shaking my head. "What they thought was an appendix about to burst, was really just bad gas." Snicker a bit. I'd normally be a bit more annoyed for being called out at five am for nothing, but I am a tad sleep deprived, so it's funnier than it should be.

"Hey, how far outta town can you get?" Take a deep drag, and frown. "The outer farms, anyplace consider's itself Excolo, I suppose." Flick off a bit of ash. "There's this last house on the road to Dry Run? Walked out to the house once, had to be at least five miles. So when I was done, I figured hey! I'm this far, so I kept walking. About another mile out..." Snap my fingers. "The Carnival was back in sight." Ex-fuckin'-colo.

Sigh and turn to look at Zann. "How've you been? You're looking more chipper than you've been in a while."

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

Things at the bar went on so late last night that I have not actually gone to bed. Normally I would have closed up, but the card game was so high stakes that the mood had got very tense, and I viewed it prudent, given our clientele, to let them finish. By then it was past dawn, and I went home and took a shower, but decided that I might as well come out and buy Hermia and Alice breakfast pastries. It's early enough that the bakery isn't yet selling, and I'd rather buy pastries from Edmund than the Miskatonic, and so I take a walk in the park to kill time. Spotting a couple of familiar faces I stroll over.

"Good morning," I say cheerfully. "How are you, Zann? Lucien, you look as tired as I feel." I open my cigarette case and take one out.

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

Guess he's still family, then, and that's actually a nice thought. "How've you been? You're looking more chipper than you've been in a while."

"Oh, you know," I say, and my grin fades to something that's not sad but at least solemn. "I played Kent something that was a tiny bit like the music I heard the heterodyne singing, when everyone forgot who they were, and he took it really badly. But I'm doing better now. Genny helped." I poke him in the arm. "Also, what the hell happened to you? You look younger than me, dammit, it's frigging weird. And you never come out anymore, doc! You should do that, you know," I add as I turn to look at whoever else is strolling up-- oh, hey, Valmont. One of the better townies to meet.

"How are you, Zann? Lucien, you look as tired as I feel."

"Pretty good," I say cheerfully. "How's Alice? And Hermia," who I cannot say I know as well but I am pretty sure I've gotten the name right, and I hop up to sit on the back of the bench, since I am short enough that sitting and talking to the man is going to put a bit of a crick in my neck. "Why're you out so early?"

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

All I can do is arch an eyebrow as Zann tries to explain what she did for... to Kent. I know Wanda told me her part of it, told me she knew when Zann tired to do it, what she felt that moment, and when she knew it failed.

"...and he took it really badly. But I'm doing better now. Genny helped." Nod a bit. Know Genny's better too, but there's no time to comment on it, for Zann is Zann and I have a handful of rapid-fire questions thrown at me.

"One: Run in with a god that worked in my favor, for once. Two: I do come out, came out once just to check on you specifically..." Wanda begged me to check on her. "...but I was told you were curled into a ball and not seeing anyone. I was assured you were breathing and in one piece more or less, so I left you be. Third:..."

Never get to 'third'. (Was there even a third?) Valmont has joined us, looking a put together as ever, but as tired as I do. Which he is kind enough to point out as he lights up. "Ouch, but yeah. Was out at one of the farms at five... which wouldn't have been too bad if I had gone to bed at a decent hour. Downside of that medical degree." I comment grinning as Zann asks after the family.

"And Micah? How's that wayward waif doing?" Also heard Wanda was fit to kill him, but I feel like I need to shake the boy's hand for helping snap Wanda out of her ... wahtever the hell it was.

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

I smile at Zann. Have I ever seen her as anything less than energised? Even in a crisis situation, like when I found Alice, she bubbled with energy.

"We're all well, thank you," I say to her. "And I have not been to bed. A poker game got heated at the inn, and so I let it run its course, and once the bar was finally tidied and locked up it was well past dawn... So I thought I would buy breakfast. If I ever see morning, it's from this side," I say, and I grin.

Lucien talks about why he's up early - "nothing serious, I hope?" - and then asks: "And Micah? How's that wayward waif doing?"

I groan a little.

"Dear Micah," I say, "has given me quite a few headaches this month... Mab nearly arrested him, which I'm sure you've heard about. I'm lucky she let him off with a caution." I shake my head. "I think he's a good chap, but he has so little idea of how to behave. But that may come in time. For now he's reasonably healthy and is helping out a little at the inn and that is enough." I glance at Zann - "Micah," I say, "is a boy who stumbled into the inn some weeks ago, his feet torn to pieces by walking the road. He reminded me of Alice, a little, and so I've let him stay."

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

"One: Run in with a god that worked in my favor, for once," and I guess it's a relief for him, after he was looking-- looking older for a while. "Two: I do come out, came out once just to check on you specifically... but I was told you were curled into a ball and not seeing anyone. I was assured you were breathing and in one piece more or less, so I left you be."

"That doesn't count," I say, waving my hand through the smoke and pushing away the memory. "Come out to be friendly, not 'cause you gotta work. I've barely talked to you in weeks, hon. Miss you, you know."

So we sit and swap stories of getting up so early, and I nod at Valmont's explanation, 'cause even I you don't wanna break up something like that. I wonder if it's a lot different when you're not moving on, beyond needing to be a lot more careful to not burn the lot...

"What'd you do before you got here?" I say, suddenly curious. "And yeah, I'm not usually up until morning either; up early, but not until. I was wandering in early," I say, "and ended up at the Abbey until morning; we got the distillery fixed up, though."

"And Micah? How's that wayward waif doing?"

"Dear Micah has given me quite a few headaches this month... Mab nearly arrested him, which I'm sure you've heard about," and oh, hey, that's interesting. "I think he's a good chap, but he has so little idea of how to behave..." He glances at me and adds "Micah is a boy who stumbled into the inn some weeks ago, his feet torn to pieces by walking the road," and I can feel my eyebrows climbing because god, that is not a pretty picture. "He reminded me of Alice, a little, and so I've let him stay."

"That's decent of you," I say, hooking one of my knees up to my chest and rocking back a bit. I remember Alice's feet, poor girl; I'd hate to be the one in any condition to remind Valmont of that. I hesitate for a second, but I don't guess he'd spill if it's too personal. "Where'd the poor kid come from? He doing okay now?" I look at Lucien too, 'cause I'd expect him to know if someone was healing up okay.

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

"Hey, you know where I am too, you know." I remind her, nudging my foot against hers. "You nearly had me jump through the damn roof if I remember correctly." I add with a smile. "But you're right, I do need to come out and visit more often." I concede easily.

"No, nothing serious, and damn; sounds like I missed a hell of a game." I mutter to Valmont, taking another drag off my cigarette, and exhaling. "And believe me, this side of morning is over-rated. Can't wait to get back to bed." I say stifling a yawn, but then remembering something. "And I wasn't sure you ever slept Zann." I tease her again, because she's always moving. "But... if you ever slow down for a moment, there's a set of wheelchairs at the office that are in desperate need of a lookover." I doubt she'll be able to resist that offer.

"Dear Micah, has given me quite a few headaches this month... Mab nearly arrested him, which I'm sure you've heard about." I don't think I could like the boy any more at the moment, and I am sure my grin reflects that. "Oh yeah, I heard. Did you hear what happened right after that?" I ask, still grinning. "You need to give him a raise, or I need to buy him a drink for that unexpected kindness."

Valmont goes on to explain how Micah came to be living at the Inn, and Zann asks after him. "He didn't seem to remember much of where he was from. And as for his feet..." Look to Valmont. "Please tell me that one is finally getting better." The one was healing just fine, but the other.... "I am really starting to think I'll need to amputate the foot if it doesn't turn around soon."

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

"Where'd the poor kid come from? He doing okay now?"

"We don't know," I say, sighing. "He's - not quite right in his mind, altogether. Poor boy. I believe both he and Alice have suffered great trauma, my poor dears..." I shake my head. "He's very vague about his past, but I get the sense that something drove him from his home."

"I am really starting to think I'll need to amputate the foot if it doesn't turn around soon."

I take the cigarette out of my mouth and stare at Lucien.

"Amputate? Good God, Lucien, that seems dramatic. I'm not sure it's getting better, but it seems no worse. I've seen no indication that infection is spreading in his leg, though you should come and see him if you think that's a risk."

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess it's been a while, and town's mellowed some. "But you're right, I do need to come out and visit more often," and I grin and reach 'round, give him a quick hug.

"Me too, hon," I say brightly. "Here, things are picking up a bit, but I'll make it out sometime this week, okay?" and then he adds something about wheelchairs in desperate need and I'm grinning again, laugh bright and quick. "I can do that!" I take a drag on my cigarette and twirl it between my fingers. It'll be nice to work on something smaller for a change; I love my rides and my baby, but sometimes it's good to be able to see all of what you're working on without stepping back too far.

"He's - not quite right in his mind, altogether. Poor boy. I believe both he and Alice have suffered great trauma, my poor dears..." and that's not something to grin at but I like the way he talks about them. "He's very vague about his past, but I get the sense that something drove him from his home."

"You're good for people like that," I say, smiling a bit, and then the doc drops a comment into the conversation and it pulls me up short and sharp. Oh, hey, when he mentioned wheelchairs I didn't think he might need them so soon.

"Jesus," I say softly. That is no joke; I mean, it's not the end of your life, it's something you can manage--hell, look at Tez. But that doesn't mean it's easy, even if staying in Excolo is a pretty good option, after, and Lucien being himself means the kid probably won't die from it.

"I'm not sure it's getting better, but it seems no worse," Valmont says, and that's a relief. "I've seen no indication that infection is spreading in his leg, though you should come and see him if you think that's a risk."

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

"He's - not quite right in his mind, altogether. Poor boy. I believe both he and Alice have suffered great trauma, my poor dears...
He's very vague about his past, but I get the sense that something drove him from his home."

"I think that he and Alice are good for one another... in a adult supervised sort of way." I add for good measure, remembering Hermia's protective streak for the girl. "Easier to face the past, and maybe put it behind you when there's someone around that get's it, you know?" It's only my two cents, but it's sound thinking. One last drag, and stub the end of the cigarette out against the bottom of my boot.

Valmont seems taken by surprise by my suggestion that I may have to be more aggressive in my treatment. "I do want to take a look at it, a good one. I think the biggest risk is me getting bit or kicked in the process." I grimace, remembering the foot to the face. "But the point is, if it's not getting better, you have to stop the ro---" No, people really don't like the word 'rot' when speaking of flesh and muscle. "If you can't control the infection, you have to..." Try to gesture with my hands.

"Yeah, I need to see it." Is what I settle on, running a hand through my hair. "You'll have whiskey on hand, yes?" Not sure if I want it for Micah or for me.

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

"I think that he and Alice are good for one another... in a adult supervised sort of way."

"Indeed," I say, raising my eyebrows, because I'm sure Lucien remembers Alice's birthday party. What a mess that was. "They seem to like each other, and goodness knows Alice could do with friends closer to her own age."

"If you can't control the infection, you have to... Yeah, I need to see it. You'll have whiskey on hand, yes?"

"I own a bar, Lucien," I point out, smiling. "Come round any time. Hopefully Micah won't kick you or bite you."

I draw on my cigarette.

"And how is life at the carnival, Zann?" I say. Strange to think how long they've all been here. No stranger than many other things in Excolo, of course.

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

"They seem to like each other, and goodness knows Alice could do with friends closer to her own age."

"It's good to see Alice is adjusting better to life here in Excolo." I say, remembering the girl she was when she first stumbled here. "As for Micah... hey, has he mentioned a girlfriend to you? He mentioned someone to me when we had that odd snow a few weeks back. Wondering how that's working out for him." I ponder, finding another cigarette and quickly lighting it with a match. "Maybe she can convince him to let me tend to his wounds properly, so I won't have to worry about too much bodily harm." Chuckle a little, at that.

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yes," I say, and start laughing, because that whole day was bizarre. "A pretty farm girl, what was her name? Danielle? Dani-something. I had to talk to him about making sure they were being safe. It was all quite awkward." I sigh. "I thought, having only married Hermia recently, we'd have a few years before worrying about teaching our teenagers about sex and so on, but apparently not." I smile ruefully.

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

"Settling, which I never thought I would say," I say with a smile that's a bit... well, I'm not unhappy, okay? I'm not. But there are paths worn down on the living lot, now, and we've been shaping the the shadows and sunlight so long that you can see where the grass grows longer or doesn't. It's strange as hell.

They exchange a couple of words about Micah, and I most sincerely hope nothing is going to have to come off (even if I've never met the kid, on general principles I wish that), and then Valmont mentions his girlfriend--

I was drawing in smoke and I've got that funny squashed feeling you get when you need more air but you can't get it because your lungs are already mostly full. It makes it hard to talk, and I wave my cigarette for a second, a sort of hang on now, while I get the words together.

"Danika?" I say a bit thinly. "Have you met her?"

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

"Yes, a pretty blonde girl, about eighteen or twenty I'd say, so maybe a little older than him but not by much... He seems quite smitten," I say indulgently, then notice Zann's expression. "Do you know her?"

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

"Yes," I say, and then "Sort of?" I mean, he did his level best to break me, I think, and I know what he is, I still feel sorry for him but I know, a perfect malengine beating its way into the shape of the world. Yeah, I guess... "She went out with Genny for a while. Once. She-- oh, boy." I run my hand through my hair, and I'm glad it's warm enough out that I don't quite shiver.

"She likes screwing around with people," is what I settle on, and I look over at Lucien. "She used to have a thing going with Tez before he took off, and she was no good for him. I think she is very bad news," and I look back to Valmont, "and I say that in light of all my fascinating experiences over the last year, and if anyone in my family was calling her girlfriend I would be wondering what to do about it when talking didn't work, you know?"

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

Valmont and I are laughing and at ease, discussing teenage woes... and Zann is suddenly wound tighter than a spring and making the whole damn bench move with her jittering.

"Danika? Have you met her?" Arch an eyebrow and wait for what will come as Valmont confirms that is indeed the name, and he's met her.

"Do you know her?"

Zann stumbles, and stops to pick out her words...

this can't be good.

"She likes screwing around with people," And pauses to give me a look. "She used to have a thing going with Tez before he took off, and she was no good for him. I think she is very bad news," It only takes me a moment to put two and two together as she continues to talk to Valmont, and I feel myself go slightly cold.

"Shit Zann..." Throw my cigarette to the ground and crush it out, for it suddenly tastes like ashes in my mouth. "You sure? As in, bad news like for Tez, and Wanda, and me and you... His kind of bad news?"

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

My skin's already crawling after what Zann says, and then Lucien adds:

"You sure? As in, bad news like for Tez, and Wanda, and me and you... His kind of bad news?"

Bad news for Wanda. That means -

"Mon Dieu," I say. My mouth is very dry, and I feel faint.

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

"Mon Dieu" Look to Valmont, and note the color rapidly fleeing his face. Shit.

I rise and gently take his elbow and guide him to where I was just sitting. Open my bag and find my flask with Verdi's fire whiskey. I don't normally offer it willy-nilly, but right now I think it would be medicinal.

"Here, sip." I sigh, handing it to him. "Don't need you slipping into shock."

Look back to Zann. "So this Danika is... is not what she seems."

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

As in, bad news like for Tez, and Wanda, and me and you... His kind of bad news?" and I nod, and--oh, jeez. I guess it's good that I'm not gonna need to lay groundwork for Valmont, 'cause he looks like he gets it, but I would not wish this on anyone. Finding out that you--god, if Micah's like Alice, finding out that your kid is...

It's enough to make me shudder, no matter how warm the day is.

I move aside a bit so he can sit down while Lucien gets him something that is not quite as pretty as the Violet Charm but probably has more of a kick. "So this Danika is... is not what she seems," Lucien says.

"No," and I pull my gaze away from Valmont, who I at least don't think is going to be sick (and I remember Genny, oh god, poor Genny). "No, she's not. I'm sorry, Valmont. I guess you understand."

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

I take a sip of whatever's in Lucien's flask. It burns a bit, but that helps. My cigarette has almost burned down to the filter, so I discard it.

"Are you sure?" I say helplessly to Zann. "I mean... What could - that thing want with a teenage boy?" But I think about the flower Micah made out of fire, and there is fear in my gut.

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

"Are you sure?" and I wish I wasn't.

"She came onto the lot, once," I say. "Danika. She went on a date with a friend of mine. Tez knew it was her; he let it happen. I guess that if there's another pretty farm girl about that age named Danika around, a real one, maybe Micah found her instead, but..." God, would Kent copy someone? It seems clumsy, it seems too much like relying on someone people maybe already know instead of going with straight-up deceit, and he's so good at that.

"I mean... What could - that thing want with a teenage boy?" and I shake my head, because all the answers are bad ones, and they all boil down to fun.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I don't know. Does Micah talk about her, much?" Maybe it's just some kind of bored way to kill the time, finding a kid who's even less set up to defend himself than most and turning him inside-out.

I might have asked him, once; Kent, I mean. Not now, though. Even if I miss him, some.

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

I don't doubt Zann know's what she's talking about. She was... Wanda said Zann liked him, liked him enough to want to try.

I can only shake my head in the negative when she tries to rationalize that there could be two girls named Danika. "Not likely. Not a common name, and I doubt He would sink so low to copy a human, and not create it from scratch."

"I mean... What could - that thing want with a teenage boy?" Valmont looks ill, and all I can do is curse under my breath and light another cigarette.

"I don't know. Does Micah talk about her, much?"

Drag a hand through my hair, scrambling to put two and two together. "When did she start coming around, did he start talking about her.. before of after the snow?" Wanda threw Kent out right after that... he interested then, as Kent? Oh Christ I don;t even want to image how that conversation between Valmont and Micah will go.

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

"I don't know. Does Micah talk about her, much?"

I shake my head.

"He's just seemed like a teenager with a terrible crush," I say helplessly, "and who would share that with people acting like parents?" Terrible. God. Mon Dieu, aidez-nous.

"When did she start coming around, did he start talking about her.. before of after the snow?"

"Before, I think... Yes, at the end of May," I say, running my hand through my hair. I breathe out hard. "I suppose I should go home. I'll need to talk to him about this." God knows how. I'm sorry, Micah, you've been doing so well, and I've been encouraging you to make friends, but now it turns out your sweetheart is the devil.

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

Doc's (probably, sadly) right about Danika. Feeling awful for Valmont; he's looking like he just got run over with a popcorn cart. "He's just seemed like a teenager with a terrible crush, and who would share that with people acting like parents?" and I wince in recognition, because, well, he's right. Instead of parents, you're more likely to--

Oh, worth a shot.

"Maybe he's talked to Alice about her?" I suggest. "I mean, if they're getting along and all... She might know something. About how he's taking to Danika, I mean." I don't know, but worth a shot?

"I suppose I should go home. I'll need to talk to him about this."

"Yeah," I say quietly. "I-- look-- I'm sorry, hon. Wish I could help."

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

Well, what started as a pretty good morning took a turn for the worse. Valmont looks like, well... I know that look. Know it all too well. At least Zann has a good idea.

"Can't hurt to ask her, at any rate. Maybe it'll give you an idea of what direction you should take."

"I suppose I should go home. I'll need to talk to him about this."
"I-- look-- I'm sorry, hon. Wish I could help."

I don't really imagine there's much we can do, but...

Set my hand on Valmont's shoulder. "If you need any bad examples to illustrate to him, I'd be happy to share my experiences with... with this." It's not much, but it's all I got.

[valmont-vicomte.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," I say distractedly. "Both of you. I..." I shake my head and run my hand through my hair. "Have a pleasant day," I finish, because there is no way I can coherently complete that sentence. I walk out of the park, much on my mind.

[tereixa-zann.livejournal.com]

Sit there and watch him go, and... I'm just suddenly trying to imagine if it were Xay, and I hop down off the bench because it's suddenly too chilly to just hunch up and stay still.

"How the hell d'you do it?" I say to Lucien, lighting another cigarette and offering him one. "Give them bad news, I mean."

[docconstantine.livejournal.com]

Watch Valmont go off, and I don't envy him. Not at all.

"How the hell d'you do it?" Zann asks, coming down from her perch and offering me a cigarette. Look at her funny, until she explains. "Give them bad news, I mean."

I take the cigarette and tuck it behind my ear, then loop my arm around her shoulder.

"Gently. Don't get mad when they do, hold their hand when they cry, and do it again the next day. And you know what? Never gets easier." Sigh and kiss the top of her head.

"C'mon, I'll get us some coffee and walk you back home."