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[hopenotfaith.livejournal.com]

Thursday, 24th June, early evening
Edmund's apartment, above the bakery

In two days it'll be two months since I walked to the bakery an' showed Edmund 'ow I am now, an' we went on our first real date. An' it was lovely. It's bin lovely this whole time. An' now I'm sittin' in 'is apartment at 'is kitchen table, listenin' to 'im putter about an' put some dinner together, an' I'm really content. Feel like I'm becomin' part of 'is life now. Even met 'is parents, an' they've bin real nice to me.

But. I - want to be really part of 'is life, the way you are if you're - a couple. Lord, I'm blushin' even thinkin' about talkin' it over. He always kisses me 'ello an' goodbye, an' 'olds my 'and, but... I ain't a kid, an' there's so many things I never got to do when I was a teenager, an' I thought I might never 'ave cos of the way I was. So. Want to talk to 'im about it. Tell 'im that it's ok, 'e don't 'ave to worry, that 'e can stop treating me like I'm made o' fine glass or somethin'. I won't break.

"That smells nice," I say. Edmund's dinners always do.

[open to Edmund]
[closed]

Comments

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

Its nice to have Hope over like this at the end of the day. I'm starting to find that the days when I don't see her are harder to get through.

And it feels so natural to kiss her cheek as I set her plate down in front of her. I'm not a good of a cook as I am a baker, but she always seems to like whatever I make, so I guess I'm not that bad.

"Thanks Sweetheart," take a bite and am pleased to note that the sauce isn't too overpowering, "I was afraid it marinated too long, but it seems fine."
Think I'd be better at starting a conversation after two months, "How was your day? Any interesting clients?"

[hopenotfaith.livejournal.com]

"It's delicious," I assure 'im. Edmund's always a perfectionist about these things. "An' better than the cooktent at the carnival, nice enough job though they do there." Smile at 'im. It's a bit tricky for me sometimes, eating tidily when I can't see, but I'm better at it now, an' Edmund always plates everything up so nicely there ain't a risk of me splashing meself with gravy.

"How was your day? Any interesting clients?"

"'Ad a regular lady come over fer her readin'. Swear she won't do anythin' without talkin' to us, an' you might think we'd encourage that cos of the money but it's a little worryin'. Cards is just a guide, you know?" Shake me 'ead. "Can't tell someone 'ow to live their lives." Eat a bit more. "And 'ow are things in the bakery? Yer new apprentice comin' along well?" Jane seems like a nice girl, not that I've said much to 'er.

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

Swear she won't do anythin' without talkin' to us, an' you might think we'd encourage that cos of the money but it's a little worryin'. Cards is just a guide, you know?"

I reach over and squeeze her hand, "I would never think that. You're both good people. And if she's that dependent, then even if you didn't read for her, I'm sure she'd find some other means. People around here are," I pause to think of a good word, "intense."

I let go of Hope's hand so she can finish her dinner, "Jane's doing well. She holds her own in the back room- starting to look people in the eye when she's at the counter too. I think she's starting to come of her shell a bit. Its great to see that- even if I can't figure out what she's adding to her piecrust."

[hopenotfaith.livejournal.com]

" People around here are intense."

"Yeah, that's one way o'puttin' it," I say, thinkin' of the things we've seen. "That's one o'the things that's so great about you. Yer easy goin', an' you take each day as it comes." I smile at 'im. I like the feel of 'is 'and in mine.

'E talks about Jane, an' I'm really glad to 'ear she's doin' well.

"Glad she's comin' along well, an' glad you've got someone else to 'elp you out cos you work so 'ard."

Finish up dinner, an' it's lovely. O'course, Edmund also 'as somethin' sweet fer us to eat after - will 'ave to make sure I don't get fat, all the nice cakes 'e makes - an' afterward we're sitting together comfortably. Gets towards the sort of time I might normally go 'ome, an' I wonder 'ow to raise the issue of - not.

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

"That's one o'the things that's so great about you. Yer easy goin', an' you take each day as it comes."
I love watching her face ight up when she smiles. I can't help but join in, "Oh I don't know. There never seemed to be much of a point in worrying too much. Never really seen it help anyone."

Once dinner's done I get the plates into the sink and join Hope on the couch. Its nice to just sit together for a bit. I wrap my arm around her and lean in a bit, "You know, I may not worry much about tomorrow, but I do think about it. I have a lot of time for thinking about things. And people," I dip my head even closer to her, "Is Faith expecting you home anytime soon? I was thinking maybe you could stay a bit later. If you wanted to, that is."

[hopenotfaith.livejournal.com]

Ooh, my 'eart's beatin' a bit fast.

"Well," I say, an' make a bit of a joke about it, "Faith says she doesn't see why I bother t'go 'ome at all at the end of the night..." I reach up an' touch 'is face. Edmund feels 'andsome. I remember what 'e looks like, an' if I'm with Faith I can see 'im through 'er eyes (though I know she don't see 'im quite the way I did), but it ain't just about 'ow 'e looks. I like touchin' 'im. Don't just mean that in a - sexy way, just... like feelin' close to him. His skin. "I could - if you want - I could stay..."

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

"I could - if you want - I could stay..."
I turn my face just enough to kiss the inside of her wrist, "I'd like that."

Have to play it cool- I manage to not grin like a loon since she's touching my face. *Stay cool. Suave. Have to make it perfect*
Not that I think she's going to jump up and run screaming into the night if I kiss her, but I really don't want to push too fast.

"I want you to know, you have beautiful wrists. I know it probably sounds kind of silly, but it's true," close the space between us completely now and kiss her just behind the ear, "Very fine and delicate at first glance, but more strong than you'd think," I kiss my way down her cheek, "All of you is like that Hope. I'm not sure that you've noticed, but it is very attractive."

[hopenotfaith.livejournal.com]

Shiver when 'e kisses my wrist, an' laugh when 'e calls 'em beautiful. Can't say anyone's ever said anything like that before.

"All of you is like that Hope. I'm not sure that you've noticed, but it is very attractive."

Think I'm blushin'.

"Yer always so sweet to me," I say, an' turn my face so I can kiss 'im, 'and still on 'is cheek. Like the feel of 'is mouth against mine. "'Ad to learn to be strong, growin' up the way we did. But glad things're a bit different now." Kiss 'im again. "I'm - I'm glad you want me to stay."

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

"I would have to be a total fool to not want you here."

I already have one arm around her, so it's just a matter of seconds to shift her so that she's nearly in my lap. Makes it easier to shift my hand up her back and into her hair while the other slides around her waist, "I've thought about this. How it'd be to have you absolutely all to myself."

[hopenotfaith.livejournal.com]

'E moves me into 'is lap. Like 'ow strong 'e is, warm 'ands in my 'air an' round me waist.

"I've thought about this. How it'd be to have you absolutely all to myself."

"Oh," I say, breathless, "you've got me, Edmund. I - care about you so much, y'know."

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

"Well that's convienient, since I care about you quite a lot myself. Sometimes its a suprising amount, actually."

I am trying really hard to not say anything else that makes me sound too daft, and the easiest way to do that is to kiss her until we're both fairly senseless.

But I don't want to spend the whole night cramped on my couch. I want it to be nicer than that for her, "You know my dear, there is perfectly good bed in the other room, just being wasted. If you were inclined."

[hopenotfaith.livejournal.com]

Oh. This is lovely. Feel a bit dizzy with kissin', mouth bit sore but in the best sort of way.

"You know my dear, there is perfectly good bed in the other room, just being wasted. If you were inclined."

Swallow a bit, cos'm nervous, but - I trust 'im, I do. An' it's not like I don't know 'ow it all works. Benefit of 'avin' Faith as a sister, and us bein' like we was before. Would be polite and not pay attention when she 'ad a gentleman caller, but not like I couldn't feel anything at all. So I ain't too worried about the - physical stuff. Just - about lettin' go like that, with someone I like so much. Maybe - love a bit, I reckon. But that's why I want to do it, too. Thing I've learned is, a lot of things worth doin' are scary, but fear ain't a reason not to do 'em. So I smile at 'im.

"Yeah," I say quietly. "I'd like that. Take - take me to bed, Edmund," an' I might blush a bit, but I still say it. Cos it's what we both want.

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

I know she's nervous and if she told me no right now I'd live with it, but she doesn't. And when she blushes even as she asks me, no- tells me, my stomach sort of clenches and flips all at once. Because she is real, and she is here. And most importantly, she wants to be.

I shift a bit, then stand up with her in my arms to carry into the next room, "Anything you want, Hope. I don't think I could resist you at all."

[hopenotfaith.livejournal.com]

"Anything you want, Hope. I don't think I could resist you at all."

Can feel I'm blushin', but I can also feel 'ow bright my smile is. An' 'e's sweepin' me off me feet, literally, an' it makes me laugh, arms round 'is neck.

"Feelin's mutual," I say, an' it's such a lovely thing to be able to say to someone, after everythin' that's 'appened to me in me life. An' so 'e takes me next door, an' - things're awkward, an' lovely, an' right, an' true. Just like Edmund, really.