Yeah you wanna do right but not right now

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

[From here.]

I hear his ribs crack as he hits the wall, and I think he may have dislocated his shoulder. He crouches on the floor, and his nose has started bleeding again.

"You're welcome."

Insolent. You were always insolent, Tepeyollotl. I cross the room, faster than a boy could move, and I lift him up with one hand and pin him against the stone wall.

"What is wrong with you?" I say, exasperated. I am holding him above my head, and blood from his nose drips onto Brant's white shirt. And then I start laughing, because this is ludicrous, and I drop him onto the floor. "Of course you always have had a death wish."

[Open to Tez]
[closed]

Comments

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

"You are terrible. Horrible."

I smile around his finger and pull it out of my mouth.

"You may yet remember how accurate that is," I say, and I tip his head to the side so I can bite down where his neck meets his shoulder.

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

"You may yet remember how accurate that is."

"I have no doubt of - ah! - of that." He hasn't forgiven me; he doesn't forgive. He hates me for what I did. He will hurt me, in one way or another, a very great deal.

But for now his teeth are digging into my skin, and I tilt my head to let him bite me. My hand is on the back of his head, lightly holding him. It's like a caress, though it isn't.

I can remember enough to know that I have never had much sense in situations like this.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

I do not bite hard enough to break the skin, but it will bruise him, teeth grinding against flesh. I can imagine the mottled colour the skin will turn, and it satisfies me. I think of Tez's teeth in the back of my neck as he knocked me to the ground. I wore riding boots that evening, and I threatened him with a crop.

I use one hand to catch hold of his wrists, hold them against him so he cannot touch me, and my other hand opens his fly and gets hold of his erect penis.

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

I want to hold him. It's frustrating. Once there was a bed here, I think, and light through leaves, and I want -

I want this, oh god. My head goes back. Does it make him feel better, to be in control of this? I can let him have that. Yes, I can let him have that.

His hand feels so good. Micah's memories are more immediate than my own, and this is - this is -

I won't orgasm. I won't. I won't.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

He gives himself over, the part of him that is the human teenager who needs to come and the part of him that wants this because he loves me.

It does not take very long at all, even though I can tell he is trying not to climax. He does not yet have that control over himself.

I am still holding his wrists after he has climaxed, and I put the fingers of my other hand in my mouth, lick them clean. He tastes different, but I still close my eyes with satisfaction. I hate him, and I will ruin him again for what he did to me, and - I am glad he is here.

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

I'm glad he doesn't let go of me. I continue spasming for a few moments after I ejaculate, all my muscles tense. My eyes have rolled back in my head. Afterwards I'm weak and trembling, but my whole body twitches again when he tastes my semen.

"I." My voice is hoarse. "Will you let me - ?" I don't expect him to say yes.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

I smile at him.

"No," I say. And that might be frustrating enough, but I think this might be worse. And so keeping a firm grip on his wrists - they will have bruised after this, I think - I pull down my own fly and get my hand inside my trousers. I do not even pull out my cock; I just work it tightly. I look at him as I do it, listening to his breathing. I feel my nostrils flare, my own breathing quicken, and I touch my tongue to my lip, taste him on my mouth, and I push myself into orgasm with a sharp cry.

I let go of his wrists then and fasten my trousers, sit down on a chair and stretch out my legs. My cheeks are very flushed, but I keep my expression calm.

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

"No."

I can see how smug he is. How he watches me, eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. The movement of his hand. The bones of my wrists feel like they're grinding together.

"Please," I say. He won't. I feel a low tight satisfaction of my own when he comes. It's still because of me.

I look at him sitting in his chair when he's done. I moisten my own lips. "Thank you," I say, my voice low. I rub my wrists. My penis is still hanging outside of my trousers, and I tuck it away.

I look at him thoughtfully for a moment longer, then come and kneel down by his chair. I don't think it's a gesture of fealty, this time.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

He kneels down next to me, and it tugs something inside me. I put my clean hand on his hair, stroke it for a little while.

"You should go now," I say. It is strangely difficult to send him away, although I know he will try to see me again soon.

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

I'm content to kneel there and let him pet my hair. I could stay like this for a long time. I haven't felt this content since - I don't know. Since I went to sleep lying with Val, I think, with his arm around me. The thought makes me sad. Everything was simpler, then.

"You should go now."

I look up at him. I don't want to go. I don't try to hide that from him. But I'm so very tired, as well, after this. "Must I?" The corner of my mouth's turned up: half a smile.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

He gives me a little smile, and I tug his hair lightly.

"Yes," I say. I stand up and walk back to the window, light another cigarette and draw on it. I glance back at him. "I am pleased that you found me again."

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

I stand up when he walks away. My legs are shaky under me. "I am pleased that you found me again."

I go across to him and gently take the cigarette from between his fingers, puff on it. It helps the wobbly feeling. "I am, too. Even though you complicate everything."

I lean in and kiss his cheek, pass the cigarette back. "I think I may sleep for a week."

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

I have to snort a little at his cheek. No one else would dare treat me so casually.

"Here," I say, taking another cigarette out of the case, and I tuck it behind his ear. "For later."

I turn back to the window, and do not look round as he leaves. He looks very small as he walks out of the tower, and I put the cigarette back in my mouth, taste him on it, and then let it drop from the window, a tiny glint of light falling towards the earth.