Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

Day 350, 16 May
Late Sunday morning
The Bakery

After I finished the weeding and fed the chickens, I told Mother I was walking over to the Abbey for services. Tiffany was still in bed, or she would have turned up her nose at the idea of going to church. Mother was none too pleased, but at least she thinks it’s fairly harmless. I couldn’t tell her I’d worked up the courage to go and talk to Mr. White again, because of course she doesn’t know I went in the first place.

I know the Bakery does a brisk business early on Sundays, but it looks like it’s died down now. There’s no one at the counter, but the little bell on the door rang when I came in, so I just wait and try not to fidget.

[OPEN to Edmund]
[CLOSED]

Comments

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

Washing up is a mundane, but essential task. Its also the one that no one ever wants to do, and so sits in the sink until the end of the day unless someone is actively keeping on it.

I'm elbow deep in suds when I hear the door open and someone move up to the counter. I drop the mixing bowl back into the sink and grab a towel for my hands as I hip bump the swinging door open.

"Good morning! Can I get something for you? Ah! Miss Veniver, Rob mentioned that you came by the other day," throw the towel over my shoulder and hold out a hand, "My apologies about that. I went out the back to do a quick errand and Rob thought I was just upstairs."

I move around the counter and gesture to the table and chairs, "Would you like to sit?"

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

After a moment, Mr. White himself comes out, drying his hands. My own start to tremble, and I clasp them behind my back so he won't see. I have to pull them right out again to shake his, though, so it doesn't do any good. My grip tries to be firm, professional, but fails because his hand is twice the size of mine.

I try to remind myself that our hands are the same, that they do the same work, but everything about him is more than I am. He's taller, and very handsome, and of course more skilled. And he's being so nice. I feel my face getting hot as he explains about the other day and offers me a chair.

"N-No, thank you," I stammer, blinking up at him. "I have a b-business proposition for you." As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I think about how stupid they must sound to him, how childish.

I close my mouth tightly and think hard. I can't ruin this, I just can't. I clear my throat. "I'm sorry. Yes, I'd like to sit down." And I take my hand from his and find a chair. "Thank you."

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

"N-No, thank you, I have a b-business proposition for you. I'm sorry. Yes, I'd like to sit down. Thank you."
She seems a bit nervous, so I let her pick a chair and settle into the other one slower than I probably would, to give her another second or two.

"What'd you have in mind Miss Veniver?" Smile and mentally review what I know about her. Town native, family runs a farm, is usually at market- does she want to sell her pies here? Whatever it is she looks really serious about it.

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

He sits down opposite me, smiling gently. I try to work up a smile of my own as he asks me what I had in mind. He's being so professional.

I look down at my hands. It's easier to talk when I'm not looking at him. "I'm a good baker, but it's mostly pies, what I do. And...I want to learn more." More than I can do with just my oven at home and the ingredients I can afford to buy. "So I was wondering if--if you would consider giving me a j-job."

This is not how I imagined asking for it, so small and pitiful. I make myself sit up, square my shoulders, look him in the eye. "I'm a hard worker, and I learn fast. And I won't steal your recipes."

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

I pay attention to what she's saying but also her body language. That steel that comes into her posture will be necessary if she wants to do well. Grew up on a farm, so I don't doubt her claim to being a hard worker. And early morning hours should suit her, or at least she'll deal with them.

"I have to be honest- I hadn't thought of hiring on anyone else for a while," lean back in my chair, "But its not a bad idea. Especially if I don't have to teach you the utter basics."

I surreptitiously look at her hands. Small, but they look like she has a bit of muscle in them, "I've tried your pies before, so I'm positive that you know what you're doing. But really the most important question is this- what do you want? Are you just looking for work? Or do you want a full apprenticeship?"

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

Oh. He hadn't thought of hiring anyone? My heart sinks, but I can't, I can't just give up and walk away now. It's true that he won't have to teach me how to work dough or time things. I catch myself staring at my lap and make myself look up again.

Of course he would have tried my pies, but it surprises me when he asks what I want. "I want to learn everything!" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. But I do, oh I do. "And if you'd give me an apprenticeship...."

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

"I want to learn everything!"
I can work with that- enthusiasm is necessary for this. I think for a few seconds, but my mind is mostly made up.

Lean forward and rest my elbows on the table, "Here's what we can do. I can take you on a trial basis. One month- if you don't like it or I don't think you're working out, we call it quits. No harm, no foul. But if it DOES work, you stay on and continue training. Its long, early hours. You'll mostly be working with me and Rob, my assistant, but also with John when he's here. You'll be in the back baking, decorating and mixing. But you'll also have to put in time up front."

I laugh, "It's not all rough- you'll get at least two days a week off. And if you need more we can usually work it out. You learn a lot though- and when your apprenticeship is done I might be able to hire you on like I did Rob. With my position on the Council I need more time away from the bakery. So, interested?"

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

He leans toward me, and I have to make myself stay still. I blink at him as he lays out his offer, and then I can't help smiling. Really? This is so much better than I'd hoped for. But it seems like he thinks it's not that good, because he starts telling me about days off and how he might hire me.

I want to laugh. "Mr. White, how many days off do you think I get now?" I hold up my hand to make an o-shape. "I'd need to be able to keep supplying pies for the Whitechapel and the market." He knows I have to support myself. "Would you let me use your ovens and buy my supplies from you if I could bake additional pies for you to sell here?" I feel less nervous now that I know he'll give me a chance.

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

She looks much more relaxed now. It'll be much easier to talk if I don't feel like she's going to bolt, "I didn't expect that you had many. But Miss Veniver, its a lot different when you're working for yourself, at your own speed. Here you do things my way or you don't do them."

"As for the pies- I'm sure we can work something out. Maybe let you use the ovens Friday afternoon and evening. Saturday morning is one of my biggest times of the week, so I can't let you use them then."

I lean back again, feeling like I've made most of my point, "Before we actually agree, I think you should talk to Rob. He's done an apprenticeship with me, so he can give you the gist of it and what's expected. After that we can discuss your wages and hours."

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

Of course it'll be different working for someone else. I nod, a little sobered. "Yes, sir."

I think I can get all of my pies made on Friday. His ovens are bigger than mine, so I'll be able to bake more at once. "I understand. I know you have a business to run."

He leans back, and I sit up, folding my hands in my lap. "I'd like that," I reply to his suggestion about talking to Rob. "But...would you mind if I came back tomorrow? My family will be wondering where I am." I'll have to tell them, I realize. I don't know how I'll manage. Tiffany will jeer at me and my mother will probably cry. Suddenly I don't feel like smiling any more.

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

"I'd like that. "But...would you mind if I came back tomorrow? My family will be wondering where I am."

I smile and manage to hold back a laugh. She's worse than Rob was when he started, "Of course! I wasn't expecting you to start tomorrow. Take some time. Talk to Rob and John. Talk to your family. Settle things up, and I recommend you find somewhere to stay in town. Often it isn't safe for a person to travel that early on their own," that fact is a little sobering and one that almost makes me angry. I remember when Excolo was a bit sleepier, and a bit safer.

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

I suppose I'm going to have to get used to seeing this smile on his handsome face. I hope I can work around him, pay attention to everything. I almost wish he were not quite so good looking. "Yes, I--yes." I'd start tomorrow if he wanted me to. I'd start today. But today is for going home and telling my family this wonderful news that I know they will take badly.

Hearing him say it makes me certain that I won't be able to stay at home, either. I will have to find a place to stay in town, and that's another thing I'll have to say tonight. "Do you have a recommendation? Someone who might rent me a room I could afford?" I know nearly everyone who lives around town, but there have been so many people settling in town lately. And of course he is much more of a figure than the pie girl.

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

She almost looks surprised when I tell her that she can start later. I really wonder what ideas she had about working here, but that's a discussion for another time.

"Do you have a recommendation? Someone who might rent me a room I could afford?"
I think for a second, "Off the top of my head, no. But I'll look into it. I know a couple ladies who had spare rooms they were debating renting but hadn't quite decided. Most of them are regulars. I'd be happy to check for you."

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

I wish I hadn't asked. I'm not even sure if it was appropriate. But he looks like he's thinking, and after a minute he offers to ask about a room for me. I consider it. I think Mother would fuss a little less if I were rooming with a woman her age, even if she didn't know her. And maybe it wouldn't cost as much as renting an entire apartment, or I could work off some of my rent keeping the place tidy and cooking. I could do that.

I look up at him, feeling the smile grow on my face. "Thank you. Thank you for-for everything."

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

That's much better.

"Thank you. Thank you for-for everything."
This time I don't bother to stifle the laugh, "Oh don't thank me until you start. And besides, it'll only help further my business to have another set of hands around here. Especially competent ones."

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

He laughs when I thank him, but not meanly or condescendingly, I think. I'm glad that he thinks this is a mutually beneficial arrangement. I hope it will be. I find myself looking at my lap again, but still smiling.

I stand up. "You must be very busy." I look at the towel hanging off his shoulder and the wet patches on his cuffs. Surely he wasn't doing what that would seem to mean. But I can smell soap, too. "Can I...help you with the dishes?"

[edmund-white.livejournal.com]

I stand up when she does and push my chair in, "Can I...help you with the dishes?"

I smile again and toss her the towel, "Okay Jane. You dry," I walk over to the door and push it open, and gesture her into the back, "How about you tell ema little more about your crust."