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estdeus_innobisSaturday, March 13th, late evening; the Zuabi farm
Went down to Oakridge on Thursday night for the nikah. Rashida didn't want to go, and there's no law that she has to, as long as two witnesses go in her place. My sister's not the sort of person you'd think wouldn't want to be present at her own wedding ceremony, but there you go. There's no imam in Excolo, but there is one in Oakridge, so I went there and signed the contract for her. Felt like the least I could do, really. Travelled back here with Taslim and the rest of the Zuabis yesterday, and the party was today. Mum and Dad went all out - big feast, invited all the neighbours. Dad said he was happy to buy Rashida a dress, but she said she'd wear Mum's. Mum was touched, of course, and Rashida looked lovely today, but I can't help feeling she did it cos it meant she didn't really need to think about it. I worry about her. Taslim's alright, he's not as much of a dick as he was as a teenager, but he's still not clever. If Rashida had to marry one of our cousins I wish it'd been Umayr, he's a sensible bloke, but Umayr's been married for ten years, so that's no use.
At least Taslim's strong and fit. He'll be useful on the farm. Mum and Dad are looking frail these days. Mum especially. I know she's ill. Know she's seen the doctor. She brushes it all off, says she's fine, but I think she's in pain a lot of the time. I think she's dying. Think the doctor told her there's nothing that can be done, not for what she's got. Wish she'd talk to me. Wish she'd realise that she doesn't have to carry things alone, that I'm not a kid now. I don't need protecting. But maybe it makes her feel stronger to bear it alone. If it gives her courage to still be the strong one, then I won't stop her.
Lie back on the bed. Party's going on still downstairs, but I've given up for the night now. It's nice, being in my old bedroom, even if later on there'll be a bunch of other relatives crammed in here with me. My nephew Abdullah's asleep curled up like a dog at the end of the bed. He even twitches a bit in his sleep as he dreams, blanket tucked round him. Sweet kid, and I feel a painful sort of tenderness for a minute. Family, eh? Always feel guilty when I come back here. But I've got two families now, and I know where my duty lies. Still. It's hard.
[Closed]
Went down to Oakridge on Thursday night for the nikah. Rashida didn't want to go, and there's no law that she has to, as long as two witnesses go in her place. My sister's not the sort of person you'd think wouldn't want to be present at her own wedding ceremony, but there you go. There's no imam in Excolo, but there is one in Oakridge, so I went there and signed the contract for her. Felt like the least I could do, really. Travelled back here with Taslim and the rest of the Zuabis yesterday, and the party was today. Mum and Dad went all out - big feast, invited all the neighbours. Dad said he was happy to buy Rashida a dress, but she said she'd wear Mum's. Mum was touched, of course, and Rashida looked lovely today, but I can't help feeling she did it cos it meant she didn't really need to think about it. I worry about her. Taslim's alright, he's not as much of a dick as he was as a teenager, but he's still not clever. If Rashida had to marry one of our cousins I wish it'd been Umayr, he's a sensible bloke, but Umayr's been married for ten years, so that's no use.
At least Taslim's strong and fit. He'll be useful on the farm. Mum and Dad are looking frail these days. Mum especially. I know she's ill. Know she's seen the doctor. She brushes it all off, says she's fine, but I think she's in pain a lot of the time. I think she's dying. Think the doctor told her there's nothing that can be done, not for what she's got. Wish she'd talk to me. Wish she'd realise that she doesn't have to carry things alone, that I'm not a kid now. I don't need protecting. But maybe it makes her feel stronger to bear it alone. If it gives her courage to still be the strong one, then I won't stop her.
Lie back on the bed. Party's going on still downstairs, but I've given up for the night now. It's nice, being in my old bedroom, even if later on there'll be a bunch of other relatives crammed in here with me. My nephew Abdullah's asleep curled up like a dog at the end of the bed. He even twitches a bit in his sleep as he dreams, blanket tucked round him. Sweet kid, and I feel a painful sort of tenderness for a minute. Family, eh? Always feel guilty when I come back here. But I've got two families now, and I know where my duty lies. Still. It's hard.
[Closed]
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