Love is in the air

[npc-excolo.livejournal.com]

Sunday, February 14th
Valentine's Day

I sit on my bed with my legs crossed, writing real careful in my notebook. MRS CLARA GRANGER I write, all tidy, then underneath I practice my signature. Clara Granger. That nice man at the market swore it wouldn't take too long for him to propose after he drank the potion. After I practice my signature a few times I write our names together. PETER AND CLARA, and I put them inside a nice big heart.

I hear Momma shouting for me and I sigh. I know she won't approve when Peter and I get together, cos he is a bunch older than me and she says seventeen is way too young to settle down. But I know she married Pop at nineteen, so she's just a hypocrite. And Peter's a real good catch - got his own job, his own place. There's that Maya of course to worry about, I think, and I push my pencil a bit too hard into the page and the point breaks. But once Peter's had the potion he won't remember that he likes her. I just need to work out how to get it to him.

Momma shouts again.

"Coming!" I shout. I know she wants me to go to that dumb Valentine's market and help her sell quilts. Ugh. But Peter might be around town, so I check my hair is nice before I go down.

***

This punch just don't look too appetising. I sigh and shout for Clara again. What is that girl doing? Probably dreaming about that barman. She thinks I don't know she's moony about him. I'm just glad he's got a sweetheart, or else he might go for my Clara - she's real pretty and men like adoring girls. He's much too old for her. I taste the punch and it's real nice, course it is, made from our fruits, but the colour just don't pop. Feeling a bit guilty, I get out some food colourant and drop it in, and it goes a nice reddish colour. That's about right for Valentine's, ain't it? I stopper up the barrel. Clara comes down.

"Get those quilts in the cart, will you?" I say, hustling her out and then getting the punch on the wagon. Roads are clear, so we get set up easy. Just a few stalls for this - jewellery, flowers, all kinds of novelties. I put out the prettiest quilts - maybe some guy'll think one'd make a nice present for his wife, and more practical than earbobs - and set up the punch.

"Free punch, sir?" I say, holding out a cup. After a bit of prodding I get Clara dishing up punch too. Hopefully it'll be a good day.

[OPEN]
[Closed]

Comments

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

Ain't been too keen on going into town aftah what happened on Monday, ayuh, but I had to be at the market yesterday, and it went alright. No moah comments than I'm used to. So I risk a stroll round to this Valentine's market. I ain't got no time for romance for myself, but though it's a made up holiday theah's things underneath it, powahful things, of sex and fertility. Things I like. So I go on out an' raise my eyebrows at the geegaws an' feel the pulse of the place. Little bit of magic in a day like today, all that history behind it.

Some pouty-faced girl gives me a cup of punch. Thank her well enough, an' I look at the cup a bit doubtful. Ain't suah I want it.

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

I went to see Reed today.

I explained to her, as I sat outside of her cell, that I could not trust the safety of my house and all those within it to someone who would incite a riot. I explained to her that I could not trust someone who would demand the blood of a man not yet proven guilty. I simply could not put our lives in the hands of such a person. And so, though it broke my heart, though I agonized over it for many nights, I had to fire her.

She protested. She told me that she was trying to protect me. She was trying to protect me by destroying this murderer, and she was trying to protect me when she attacked the building. She told me that she thought that "demon"...Mr. Hollow...was giving me to the man in the cells. It became clear to me in that moment that she had taken leave of all her senses, and I was forced to harden my resolve. She could stay at Follow Me Boy until she had made other arrangements, I said, but as of now she was no longer an employee.

Reed's face shut down, and she hardly nodded when I told her that she could come and see me if there was anything she needed. And then I was forced to leave, for I had no wish to weep in front of her. Reed has become part of my little family at Follow Me Boy. Turning her away wounded my very soul.

My eyes were still red when I finally left the sheriff's office. The market is in full bustle, and as I limp past a stall a young girl presses a cup into my hands. The liquid inside is a deep red, and smells of apples. Perhaps a drink would do me some good. I ask the girl as well, in a burst of inspiration, if they would please bring some of the punch to the sheriff's office, for Mr. Hollow and for the prisoners. She seems reluctant, but I press a generous tip into her palm and she agrees. Perhaps this will lighten everyone's hearts.

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

So wrapped up in thinking about things I bump into a woman.

"Oh, sorry, ma'am," I say. See she's got an empty cup of the stuff I'm holding in my hand. Just glad I didn't spill my cup ovah her. Think I recognise her - she's the competition for the Grindhouse, though I think the Boy's a fanciah place than most of our clients go to. "Say, ain't you Miss Miao?" I say. "As is Parth - Parras's boss, ayuh."

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

The punch is sweet, and tastes strongly of apples and spices, and despite myself I am warmed by its taste. It tingles upon my tongue as I continue to walk, thinking of Reed and what is best to do next. I am so deeply lost in thought that I do not notice the man until I stumble into him. "Oh, sorry, ma'am," he says in a voice that is deep but melodious. "Say, ain't you Miss Miao? As is Parth - Parras's boss, ayuh."

He is very handsome, I see. With smooth, dark skin, and large hands. He has a powerful look about him, strong enough to sweep me off of my feet and carry me away. I realize suddenly that I have been staring at him, and my cheeks flush red. "Your pardon, sir. Yes, I am Miao...I am sorry, have we met?" I do not think so. I think that I would remember this man.

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

Is she blushing? I figuah this might be a business thing - pull that shy an' charming thing. It's fetching, though I should let her know I ain't in the habit of going to whores so she don't waste a nice performance.

"Your pardon, sir. Yes, I am Miao...I am sorry, have we met?"

"We ain't," I say. "I'm Nu, an' I know Parras some, so I recognise you from her description." An' cos theah ain't exactly many Chinese women in town, but I don't say that. Think we'ah probably both quite aware of being in minorities, ayuh. "She always speaks well of you," I say. "Hope your business weren't too disrupted by what went on Monday," I add.

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

He is so very handsome. The men in this country have always seemed much larger in body than those I encountered back home. Oh, not all of them, of course, but there are so many men here that are physically larger, taller and broader and more muscular, than those back in my home country. And so larger men, in some way, have always seemed exotic to me, much as I must seem to them. And this man, to me, seems particularly intriguing. I am not certain why, but I find myself studying him as he speaks to me, at the motion of his mouth and the gestures of his hands. "We ain't. I'm Nu, an' I know Parras some, so I recognise you from her description. She always speaks well of you,"

"Parras is very kind," I smile. I do not wish to tell this man that Parras has never spoken of him...but Parras never speaks of her time with the Carnival. Not at all, except for sometimes when she has to and others when she is in her cups. And even then, it is tiny bits and pieces...no names, no anecdotes. I am sorry, sometimes, that she feels the need to keep her past so well-hidden.

"Hope your business weren't too disrupted by what went on Monday,"

The mention of what has happened here causes my smile to fail. I waited on the roof for several hours before I was able to call someone to help me. "No," I say, though I have seen several of the men who were among that screaming, stone-throwing crowd come through our doors. "It has not hurt us...but I feel that I must apologize to you and yours. One of the leaders of the mob...she was an employee of mine, and is a friend. And I feel that I should have seen the signs," this is true. I knew that Reed was becoming strange, and that she was turning her wrath towards the Carnival and the folk within. Should I not have seen? "I hope that your folk have not been harmed by what has happened."

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

"Parras is very kind," she says, an' I laugh.

"I ain't suah that's how I'd describe her. But I like Parras alright." Even if she does think she's too good for the carnival.

"It has not hurt us...but I feel that I must apologize to you and yours. One of the leaders of the mob...she was an employee of mine, and is a friend. And I feel that I should have seen the signs. I hope that your folk have not been harmed by what has happened."

"Now," I say, firmly, "don't you take on. Was you out throwing rocks? I'm guessing not. You ain't responsible for how othah people think. Now if you was the mayor, I'd take your apology an' ask for compensation," I add with a bit of a grin. "But you ain't. We'ah alright," I add. "People are shook up, as you'd expect."

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

He laughs when I mention Parras. He has a very fine laugh, I think, deep and loud and unashamed. It is the sort of laugh that one cannot help smiling to hear. "I ain't suah that's how I'd describe her. But I like Parras alright."

But that laugh fades when I apologize to him. "Now, don't you take on. Was you out throwing rocks? I'm guessing not. You ain't responsible for how othah people think. Now if you was the mayor, I'd take your apology an' ask for compensation," he smiles at me, and I am startled both by how my heart flutters in my breast, and at the sudden thought that I would not minding giving my "compensation" to this man. Not at all. "But you ain't. We'ah alright. People are shook up, as you'd expect."

"Yes," I nod, and then hesitate before inquiring further, but I have made friends in the Carnival and I am concerned. And I find that I wish to continue speaking with this man. I do not want him to go. "Has it been very hard, staying through the winter?"

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

"Has it been very hard, staying through the winter?"

She's chattiah than most townies are with carnies, but I don't mind that none.

"Ayuh," I say, an' rub my hand along my stubble. "Hard work stayin' in one place at the best of times for most of us. Carnival's made to wandah. Made for open roads. An' aftah everythin' that's been going on..." I shrug. "It's strange. But we could have ended up in much worse towns." I nod, thinking of some of the places we've been. Worse, ayuh. "You heah shopping some someone?" I say, smiling. "Got a Valentine?"

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

He sighs and nods, "Ayuh. Hard work stayin' in one place at the best of times for most of us. Carnival's made to wandah. Made for open roads. An' aftah everythin' that's been going on...It's strange. But we could have ended up in much worse towns."

"Excolo is, in some ways, more open-minded than many others," I nod, understanding. In some of the towns I have lived in, I could hardly wander out of the house by myself. It is better here, much better.

Then he smiles, and again I am surprised at just how much this warms me. He has a very fine smile, strong white teeth in his dark face. "You heah shopping some someone? Got a Valentine?"

"No...yes." I say, and shake my head at my foolishness. Silly woman, letting language get away from you. "I have a lover, yes, but I was not shopping for him. In my culture, this is not truly the day for love; that comes in the summer, or earlier, near the beginning of the year." I hesitate before telling him what I do next, but I feel that I can trust this man. His eyes are kind. "I was visiting Reed, the...the employee and friend who led the mob. I was relieving her of her employment." Ah, but it hurts even to speak those words.

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

"Excolo is, in some ways, more open-minded than many others," she says, and I nod.

"Ayuh," I say. "Within limits." Know what sort of limits those are.

"I have a lover, yes, but I was not shopping for him. In my culture, this is not truly the day for love; that comes in the summer, or earlier, near the beginning of the year."

Smile at the way she says lovah like it's just an everyday thing. It's good.

"Nice to celebrate love when the sun's bright," I say, "though theah's something to be said for thinking on it in the dark of wintah, seeds buried deep beneath frosted soil, ayuh." Cycle of things, but theah ain't no ending, not really.

"I was visiting Reed, the...the employee and friend who led the mob. I was relieving her of her employment."

"Sorry to hear that, sweet. Hard to do that to a friend. Hardah to know a friend would do something to make you need to."

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

He smiles at me, and it sends a thrill through my body. It startles me, in some ways. I have known many men, and many bodies, and yet it has been a very long time since one has affected me physically so quickly. "Nice to celebrate love when the sun's bright, though theah's something to be said for thinking on it in the dark of wintah, seeds buried deep beneath frosted soil, ayuh."

"In my country, we celebrate love in these months as well," I smile. "The day on which girls demonstrated their arts to potential suitors, and therefore their suitability as wives, that comes in the summer. But the day for lovers to meet, this is this month or the month previous. That is when young woman are allowed away from their homes unescorted, attendant to no curfew, so that they can meet young men." The end days of the Lantern Festival, when the streets are lit with soft flame and the air warm with with smells of music and food. "It is a good time."

"Sorry to hear that, sweet." An odd thrill runs through me when he calls me "sweet". "Hard to do that to a friend. Hardah to know a friend would do something to make you need to."

"It is," I say quietly. "I did...I knew that she was becoming...more suspicious, towards the Carnival, and those within it. But to do this, it..." I am startled again, this time by how close I am to tears, "...it was beyond anything I had believed."

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

She talks about her home with affection, ayuh, an' I smile.

"Sounds nice," I say. "You miss it? I ain't been back wheah I came from in a long time. Sometimes wish I could go back, but it's a long way off."

"I did...I knew that she was becoming...more suspicious, towards the Carnival, and those within it. But to do this, it..." I am startled again, this time by how close I am to tears, "...it was beyond anything I had believed."

"Times like the ones we in seem to make people strange," I say. "Strange an' cruel. I'm sorry it happened to you." I look down at my cup, but I don't think I'm going to drink it, an' she looks like she could do with a glass of watah an' a sit down. So I hold out my cup. "Heah, drink this, an' why don't you sit down on this bench." Must hurt for her to stand up anyway, with her feet like that.

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

"Sounds nice. You miss it? I ain't been back wheah I came from in a long time. Sometimes wish I could go back, but it's a long way off."

"I do miss it sometimes," I nod. "This country is so very different in so many ways...so many different formalities...and in some ways, it seems to me, less ritual. Though I suppose the rituals here are simply so different that I do not notice them." I do miss China, often. The lilting music of the language, the soft light of paper lanterns, the scent of the Yulan trees blooming in springtime, the small ceremonies to everything from greeting a friend to serving tea. Yes, I miss China. "May I ask, sir, where are you from?"

He shakes his head, "Times like the ones we in seem to make people strange. Strange an' cruel. I'm sorry it happened to you."

"I am sorry that it was directed towards you and your friends," I say in return. And then start when he presses his cup into my hands.

"Heah, drink this, an' why don't you sit down on this bench." He says to me, taking my arm and guiding me to the bench. I had not even realized, so absorbed was I in what we were saying, that my feet were starting to throb. He guides me gently to sit with his hand on my arm.

"Thank you," I say quietly. And then realizing that with one finger I am tracing the line from the back of his hand down his wrist. I blush fiercely and return my hand to my lap.

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

"Ritual heah's less knowing, ayuh," I agree. "But the land's got its sacred places, for all that."

"May I ask, sir, where are you from?"

"All ovah," I say. "But once, Egypt. Don't know that I'll get back." Not in this life, an' in my next I'll be someone different. Sad thought, sometimes, though it ain't as if this body's seen Egypt neithah. Just dreams of it.

We sit down, an' she pets my wrist some, then blushes an' takes her hand away. Figuah it must just be her trainin' taking ovah when she's distracted, since I can't see her being interested in me.

"Ain't no thing, sweet," I say to her thanks. "You rest heah some, okay? I should get back," I add, cos I still ain't quite comfortable in town. "But I'd be glad to see you at the carnival, you evah make it out that way." Always nice to make new friends.

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

"Ritual heah's less knowing, ayuh. But the land's got its sacred places, for all that."

"It does." I nod. I remember, while I was journeying on the train, seeing a craggy mountain with great, noble faces carved into the cliffside. I heard tell that they were great leaders, but no one could remember their names now. But that place, to me, seemed sacred.

"Ain't no thing, sweet. You rest heah some, okay? I should get back. But I'd be glad to see you at the carnival, you evah make it out that way."

"Thank you," I say. He is so very, very kind, and I find myself blushing deeper. I wonder for a moment about Lucien, but...but he has been trysting with the barmaid Verdandi has hired, has he not? So can I not explore as well? "Would you....would you perhaps...like to have dinner with me?" I ask, and I feel my cheeks burning brighter.

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

"Would you....would you perhaps...like to have dinner with me?"

Huh, now theah's a thing. Been a while since someone made a play for me, ayuh. Feels flattering, in a distant sort of way.

"Nice of you to ask, sweet," I say, "but I ain't the dating kind. But you want to have a friendly dinnah some day, I can do that."

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

"Nice of you to ask, sweet," he says gently, but I can hear the rejection in his voice, see it in his eyes, before he ever speaks the words. "but I ain't the dating kind."

I am startled by how disappointed I am. I had hoped....well, I do not know what I had hoped, but I truly did wish to spend more time with this man. And I wonder what it was that I did to make him not want the same. "But you want to have a friendly dinnah some day, I can do that."

Well, that is not quite what I had hoped for, but that shows he does not completely dislike me. And I am always glad to make new friends. "Yes," I say, looking up at him and smiling, "I should like that very much. I am sorry if...if what I said was somehow improper." Perhaps he is chaste, or has a wife or boyfriend or lover waiting at home. Foolis woman, presuming so much.

[nunaunet.livejournal.com]

"I should like that very much. I am sorry if...if what I said was somehow improper."

Sort of strange to heah a whore wondah if she's bein' impropah cos she asked someone out on a date, but I'm old enough to know that people's work lives an' private lives ain't the same, so I smile an' shake my head.

"Ain't nothing impropah, sweet. Like I said, I ain't one for dating. Not something I need. But flattahed you asked, ayuh. You come by the carnival, ask for Nu, you'll find me, have some tea." Smile at her. Don't offah my hand, cos I remembah that wasn't the Chinese way. Give her a little bow. Seems the least I can do. "You have a good day," I say, an' I go on my way.