If I remembered what feelings were, mine might be hurt.

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

Saturday January 16th, [Day 230]
Before the lightning

My slippers shuffle on the floor as I walk into the bedroom carrying a tray with a glass of milk and a plate of sandwiches for the grinning man in bed. I'm not sure how many tries it took me, but I finally got it right this time. I think. I'm not sure if the bread is supposed to turn black like that, but he said he likes it that way. He is really very sweet.

I knew he was sweet the morning I woke up and called him Adam and asked where my garden was. He told me his name is Jamie, but I could call him whatever I liked. I think he might love me because he said I was his and he would have to kill any man trying to steal me away. Those words should scare me, but somehow I found them to be very sweet. I didn't have time to think about it more because the food I was making suddenly burst into flames, which seems to happen a lot when I think about what he said. I don't think food is supposed to do that and when I mentioned it he just laughed and said it was alright and I'd learn in time. I don't think it was my fault but I just nodded and tried to eat the awful tasting food.

It was odd that I remembered that other name but not my own or anything else, like how I got here. Jamie has been calling me by names that I do not recognize, maybe that's a game we play? Setting the tray across his lap, I perch on the side of the bed, drawing my dressing gown closed as stare into the fire I lit in the fireplace. I'm good at starting fires and though the cold doesn't really bother me, I know he'll be asking me to take off the gown and feed him soon, like he has for the past few days. It just feels like the fire is trying to tell me something and I can't take my eyes off the dancing flames. Thunder rumbles off in the distance and the sound makes the blood run faster through my veins. I guess I must like storms.

(Closed)

Comments

[jamie-kincaid.livejournal.com]

I'm relaxed with my arms stretched behind my head as I watch her come into the bedroom. The tray's almost too large for her but she's carrying it like it weighs almost nothing. From the smell of it, I think she's burned the bread again and I smile. She's so beautiful that I could learn to love burnt food, just for her.

I don't remember too much before a few days ago, but it doesn't matter. She was with me and there were a few bottles of mead too, so maybe we were so drunk that I blacked out. She did, too.

We've made best of things though, and even though I can't remember too much, I don't think we're married. I think I would have remembered that. She's too gorgeous to be forgotten. Whatever we are, I don't think we got together for her home-making skills anyway and last time I looked, the kitchen was a disaster.

I smile as I eye the burnt sandwich. "It's looks delicious, Susie." I pull at the sash of her robe and I say, "Take this off and come back to bed, darling. But do it slow..." I lean back, smiling as I remind her, "And don't forget the food."

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"Take this off and come back to bed, darling. But do it slow... And don't forget the food."

My smile widens. "Ohh I'd never forget the food," I purr, untying the sash and letting the robe slowly slip down my arms and fall from my body to the floor. Picking up the sandwich, I remove the crust before breaking it up into bite size pieces.

Straddling his legs, I set the plate just out of his reach. "But what would happen if I forgot?" I ask and smile, teasingly put a piece of the awful sandwich between my lips. I don't know how he stands this stuff, or what I prefer to eat. This little game always makes me hungry and I haven't found any food in this house that tastes good. I haven't tried this answer yet and I'm curious as to what he'll do.

[jamie-kincaid.livejournal.com]

"Ohh I'd never forget the food," she says as the robe slips from her gorgeous body. I smile as she breaks the blackened sandwich into pieces before climbing on the bed and settling herself against my thighs.

Holding the plate away, she teases me, "But what would happen if I forgot?" I laugh as she begins to eat the food herself and I wonder how she stands it as I reply, "Well, I guess I'd have to remind you then." Smiling, I say, "I wouldn't blame you though," and I laugh again as I add, "As long as you got to it after I reminded you."

Dear Nanshe, she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen and I want to lock the door before she tries to leave. "How's the food?" I smile as I ask, knowing full well it's not the best I've had.

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"As long as you got to it after I reminded you."

My eyebrow arches and I laugh, not sure if he is joking or not. I think he might be, he would have to be, this food is.... "How's the food?"

"Ohhh, you know how it is," I smile, swallowing the small bite and wishing I hadn't. Unsatisfactory is putting it mildly, but he keeps eating it and asking for more anyway. That is one of the least curious things about the past few days.

Lying down beside him, I prop my head up and look at him. "Have you remembered anything at all?" We found what looks like a womans room in the house and he thinks it must be mine. But that wouldn't explain how we woke up or that he doesn't seem to want me to sleep in there, which is fine with me. I don't like that other room anyway. I don't really like the kitchen either but he just laughs when I ask if he cooks, and then asks me, "Now why would I do that when I have you?" He usually kisses me before I can answer that.

[jamie-kincaid.livejournal.com]

"Ohhh, you know how it is," and I smile. I do know but does she? Maybe she likes her food charred? That would explain why she burns everything she cooks.

She lays down next to me and I'm happy that she brings the food with her. We've worked up an appetite and what she won't eat, I will. Or I'll try to at least. "Have you remembered anything at all?"

"No, nothing. The only thing I've figured out is that we're not married but we must be together. How else can we explain being naked together in bed? We seem to know each other, or our bodies do so it makes sense to me." I shrug and say, "I wish I could remember the details though."

She feeds me a piece of black bread, and I smile as I choke it down. "How about you? Remember anything yet?"

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"How about you? Remember anything yet?"

I shake my head. "Not really. Just the things I told you about, and that nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something," I say, biting my lower lip. These clothes don't exactly fit me right and I don't care for them. "It is like all of this is new and I've never seen it before, except for you," I smile, almost laughing when he takes a bite of the sandwich. I must have enjoyed cooking or watching him try to look happy as he eats wouldn't make me want to laugh so much.

"I remember my parents. Not their faces, just that we were happy and safe and loved. Do you love me?" I haven't asked this yet, but it seems important that I know. "And is there a garden somewhere?" I have asked about that but the urge to weed and tend it is beginning to bother me. Along with how do I know about such things when everything else is a blank.

There are also things that are wrong. The face of another blonde man with blue eyes and a bright smile, children, a child in a garden. "Do we have a child?" I ask, before I can stop myself then laugh, stretching out along his side and resting my chin on his chest as my hand traces down his stomach to his hipbone. "Of course we don't, they would be here if we did."

[jamie-kincaid.livejournal.com]

"Not really. Just the things I told you about, and that nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something." She bites her lip and I want to lean forward and help her. "It is like all of this is new and I've never seen it before, except for you." Smiling at her, I say, "It does seem off but honestly, I can't remember enough to say what exactly that is."

Her eyes are soft as she talks about her parents and asks, "Do you love me?" I pet her hair as I answer with confidence, "I might not remember hardly anything but I do remember that. Yes, I do love you, Susie." She's so beautiful. How could I not?

She turns her eyes to me again, asking, "Do we have a child?" She laughs and I try not to sputter as she continues, "Of course we don't, they would be here if we did."

I sit up, trying hard to remember anything about a baby and I can't. That doesn't mean we don't have one though. Why else would she ask, if she didn't have a feeling about it. Grasping her shoulders gently, I reply, "We might and if we do, how could we not be married?" She has no ring and neither do I but we could've left them somewhere and not found them yet.

"I'll take care of you, Susie, and any babies we might have. And if we aren't already married, I've treated you badly and I'll marry you as soon as possible." I clasp her hands in mine as I ask with a happy smile, "What do you say, Susie? Forgive me for forgetting and marry me? Maybe a second time?"

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"I might not remember hardly anything but I do remember that. Yes, I do love you, Susie."

That confession brings a smile to my face. I don't think he would lie, but something is still off and I'm hungry again but my stomach does not growl like his.

Cupping his cheek, I smile as he talks about marriage. That hadn't occurred to me. "What do you say, Susie? Forgive me for forgetting and marry me? Maybe a second time?"

The is is heavy, charged and a loud crack of lightening breaks outside, leaving his words hanging in the air. As if walking between worlds, everything shifts and then steadies again.

I remember it all and slip my hands free from his as I begin to laugh. "Oh, I don't think so," I purr, climbing from the bed. My thoughts are consumed with the various ways I could show him forgiveness and the glass in the windows takes on a soft warm glow. Wards perhaps? I giggle and give him an innocent smile. "A storm is coming, I better get home." Better to go home than to cook and make you eat your own flesh. Then our game would be ended before its truly begun. The windows glow again. "Thanks for letting me stay," I say lightly as if it were nothing at all. Giving him another smile as I leave the room, I call over my shoulder, "I'll see you soon!"

As I leave the house I briefly wonder if I should have more than a blanket wrapped around me for appearance sake. I think that will be the least of his concerns. Once I reach the end of the property, the blanket falls to the ground as my body dissolves into the air. It is about time this town was stirred up, I can't wait to see what the damage was.

[jamie-kincaid.livejournal.com]

Her soft hand cups my cheek and she smiles at me. Will she say yes? I think so and I wait for her answer while I lean into her hand. The homestead's suddenly lit up from a flash of lightning slicing through the air. Susie's with me but it's not her. Or is it? What the hell?

Before I realize it, she's pulling away from me and her laugh is different. Colder. "Oh, I don't think so," she says. There's a shine from the window and did I miss a second flash of lightning?

"A storm is coming, I better get home." I blink at her in confusion, enthralled by her smile as I repeat, "Home?" Lily doesn't live her, not normally, but it's hard to accept that. Especially after these last few days.

I spare a glance for the window, and do a double-take as I realize the shine isn't from the weather. The only other reason the windows would shine is Edith ...or something like her. But Lily's trying to leave, unaware of the danger as she says, "Thanks for letting me stay. I'll see you soon!"

I stumble out of bed, trying to catch up to her but she's out the door before I can pull on clothes and follow her. "Wait! It's dangerous out there!" I call out but by the time I reach the front door, she's gone.

Standing on the porch, I can't see a damn thing through the deluge of rain and that's when it hits me that I asked her to marry me. Crap! Why did I do that? Now she'll never come back.