Scars are tattoos with better stories.
Apr. 14th, 2010 06:27 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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The body is but a pair of pincers set over a bellows and a stew pan and the whole fixed upon stilts.
- Samuel Butler
You're sick of hangin' around and you'd like to travel;
Get tired of travelin' and you want to settle down.
I guess they can't revoke your soul for tryin',
Get out of the door and light out and look all around.
Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me
What a long, strange trip it's been.
- 'Truckin'', The Grateful Dead
January 6th, early evening
I walk along the southern road to Excolo, the grey halflight of a January day fading into a sullen sort of blackness. There is little charm in this weather, road hard packed with ice. As I get closer to the town I find the snow has been sprinkled with salt and grit, but to no great effect. I flip up the collar of my coat as if I need to shield myself against the cold.
This is a new body. I felt the desire for it, something with no history worked into its flesh. And I am not interested tonight in a body that encourages sexual desire; I have had enough of those for now. This body is a fine work of art, but it is not beautiful, skin slouching into wrinkles except where it is stretched tight across high flat cheekbones, hands knotted, greying hair. The body of a man of perhaps sixty, faint traces of age spots on his hands but as yet no tremor to them. A man who is sure of his step. A face that is lived in but gives little away, and eyes like bright sparks in a skull. Full small lips to take the edge off that steady cold gaze, to make it show the possibiity of kindness. Yes, it will serve.
I walk into town and find the tavern, hefting my bag as if it has some weight. When I set it down I sigh softly, as if relieved, and I roll my neck and click it.
"Hail friend," I say to the barman easily, "a toddy do you have to ease my bruised bones on this cold night?"
When the rum comes it steams, and I hold it in my mouth and let my cheeks splotch a grateful pale pink on the act of swallowing.
[OPEN]
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Date: 2010-04-20 06:58 pm (UTC)"What do you dream of, mistresses? Perhaps I have a bottle for it."
"Pardon if I spoke harsh," I say, sipping my drink. "I meant no sharpness." Shake my head and push it aside. "Still and all," I say more brightly. "Quiet nights, summer rain," and I'm musing aloud, and no particular deep a desire for that, but they're something to name and pleasant enough. "Lannie, my turn t'stand a round, help yourself if you're of a mind to...?" I dream of living t'see another harvest, as well, but that's more'n I care t'share with a stranger. A name for the murdered man, another for whoever's driving knives and mauling corpses, and both of those sharp and certain things that stand alone, that're nothing to do with me--
"Escaping notice," I say thoughtful, turning back to Uri. "Folk speak plainer when they've no care for your being there." Toss Lannie a quick dry grin. "And may be I could catch those're after coming by unseen, then, if chance favoured the time particular of such a dream."
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Date: 2010-04-20 09:19 pm (UTC)"Whose dreams?" I ask, staring at the pretty colored glass. Like I'm actually gonna see whats inside. Then shake my head, and tear my eyes away. Smiling and shrugging at my dumb question. It just reminded me of when I was little and asked where the bad dreams that the dream catcher caught went. This guy's gonna make a killing at the market. "What do you dream of, mistresses? Perhaps I have a bottle for it."
I dream of running, but not from anyone or anything, running just to run and feel the wind in my fur instead of the air around me feeling like a cage. I'd like to not lose it and wolf out and be a danger to my friends. Not telling him that though. Especially not in the present company. I can't think of anything but luckily Glass answers, saving me from having to answer first. Smelling that food is making my stomach growl and being hungry while Gaueko chows down is more annoying than it should be.
"Folk speak plainer when they've no care for your being there."
Why's she grinning at me? I wonder if Iago said something to her or if I said something I shouldn't. "Yeah, except you hear stuff you wish you didn't," I mumble under my breath. "More drinks on the way." That's a wish I can grant. I grin at Thomas who already has a round waiting by the time I come around the bar.
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Date: 2010-04-21 06:23 pm (UTC)Glass seems to have gone contemplative. "Still and all. Quiet nights, summer rain," she muses, though I don't think she's saying all she could. "Escaping notice," is how she finally concludes, "Folk speak plainer when they've no care for your being there. And may be I could catch those're after coming by unseen, then, if chance favoured the time particular of such a dream."
Picked the wrong lover in that case, Glass my girl. I snort. I seem to recall that pretty boy turning her out dressed as a peacock. Ah, well.
The wolf girl asks whose dreams they are, which is more clever than I'd have given her credit for. But she seems to forget the moment the words pass her lips. "Yeah, except you hear stuff you wish you didn't," she mutters to Glass, and says that more drinks are on the way. Well, she might not be bright, but she does her job well.
I lick gravy from my whiskers and sprawl on the floor with the bone pressed between my forepaws. One ear is turned to the conversation as I crunch it between my jaws, licking marrow from the splinters. I'm surprised to find that I'm having fun. Sugaar and I should do this more often.
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Date: 2010-04-23 11:13 pm (UTC)I smile at Melania, because it is not an unintelligent question.
"From whomsoever has traded them, my friend," I say, and Glass apologises for sharpness and I raise my hand and wave it in a mind-thee-not universal gesture. She rattles off some platitudes about dreams of weather, and then finally comes to something she wants.
"Folk speak plainer when they've no care for your being there."
"Yeah, except you hear stuff you wish you didn't," adds Melania, and I wonder about that.
"Invisible I cannot render you," I say, although of course I could, but that is richer magic than a peddlar should carry. "But I can, let me think on it..." I pull out a couple of bottles and look at them as if in deep thought. "Colour of leaf or stone, snow or sky," I say, looking at one bottle, "walk as soft as snowfall, light as the western wind," I say, looking at the other. "Together, yes, I think it could be done, mistress." I smile at Glass. "But was that idle talk, or a call to business?" I look at Melania. "And come, friend, there must be wishes you'd be having."
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Date: 2010-04-24 12:30 am (UTC)"No such thing," I say dry, looking at the second glass and turning it slow in the black of the Shuck's night. "May hear of things'd leave you happier if they weren't so, but better to know." Always, always better to know.
"Invisible I cannot render you," Uri says, and've no particular interest in that either, only... only being dim. Takes up a pair of them in his hands and "Colour of leaf or stone, snow or sky," and that's fond memory, there, more than passing soft or soundless, the soft myriad of colours folk call simple as green or brown or grey. "Together, yes, I think it could be done, mistress. But was that idle talk, or a call to business?"
"Not idle," I say thoughtful, looking to the first and wondering what colour the glass of it is in sunlight or electric glow rather than in this soup of bruised black. "And think perhaps I can keep myself quiet enough, but the matter of colours... that's of interest." Recall something he said to Lannie, then. "Do you take price only in coin, or in dreams, or...?"
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Date: 2010-04-24 08:55 pm (UTC)If I were a wolf right now, my ears would be pricked forward as I hand out the drinks and listen to them talk. Is she really gonna buy something? And will it work? Glass is clever, maybe she's just humoring the nice old man. He obviously needs the money, especially if the hound god is mooching off him. I look down at the old dog, not quite a glare. I wouldn't wanna offend Uri by giving 'his dog' a dirty look. I see the position of that ear. You're listening to this whole thing aren't you, you big jerk.
"And come, friend, there must be wishes you'd be having." I look t Uri with a smile. "Hmm?" My head cocks slightly. I'm trying to recall a dream that I'll mention out loud. "Do you take price only in coin, or in dreams, or...?" Oh. Good question, Glass.
Where was he when we were trying to get Iago's memory back? I would've wished for that. Or to have Ri not be so sad about John. He's a jerk anyway, so not her loss. Oh...wait... "What about stuff to get even with someone?" I ask. He may be an ass, and I don't want him dead, but really uncomfortable would work. Fleas or mange, I think. I picture him walking around town, losing hair or fur because of a crazy itch. Even though I know this guy's probably full of shit, the thought makes my lips pull back from my teeth a little. Should've just left her alone.
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Date: 2010-04-25 11:33 pm (UTC)"You think not that ignorance is bliss," I say. "I like your thinking, Mistress Beddau, for I too always prefer knowledge, even when it is bitter."
"Do you take price only in coin, or in dreams, or...?"
"I barter," I say with a smile. "Many places I have been do not use coin, or else not the coin of this place, and so whilst I will take cash and welcome I will trade, too. Dreams if you have them and they are of interest, or supplies of other sorts. Your husband is a barkeep, you say? I could take drink to keep the cold from my bones." I pat Gaueko's head. "Or food for my dog." She will love that idea, I am sure. "Negotiation, dear mistress, is key."
"What about stuff to get even with someone?"
Well, that is unexpected. I like the way Melania's lip pulls back against her teeth. Oh, little wolf, you have an appetite for pain. I wonder how you and Johnny get along.
"My potions are short lived, as I say," I say, tone cautious, "but not all dreams are pleasant, of course." I draw out a small dull bottle, liquid inside the colour of drying blood. "I do not, friend mine, recommend giving nightmares to others, but what you do with a bottle once you have it is not my concern." I give her a dry sort of smile.
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Date: 2010-04-26 12:00 am (UTC)"I barter," and may have lost some knack of that with time in town, but there's a comfort to remembering prices set out in herbs or time or jewelry or food or shelter. "Dreams if you have them and they are of interest, or supplies of other sorts. Your husband is a barkeep, you say? I could take drink to keep the cold from my bones. Or food for my dog," and feel my mouth twist in a dry smile, no joy nor humour to't. "Negotiation, dear mistress, is key."
"Well," I say dry, "there's a butcher in town, but'm not thinking I could see to having your Rollo fed at his behest..." Spit and staunchweed, well enough to wake him at the dark of the night wanting t'know if Iago's dead, but think asking him to feed the Shuck would be a bit overmuch. Smile a touch at the thought. "How long're you thinking t'stay in town? Could well speak for your having drink, but if you're more or less than wintering here, drink alone'd mismatch a quiet day." Lift my glass but don't drink from it. "What happens t'folk who trade you their dreams? Have they memory of a memory, or d'you only take impression, or is it gone entire from their minds?"
"What about stuff to get even with someone?" Lannie says, and I turn to look to her, head tilted slight to one side, and fall quiet. Fair to new in town, and not sure who she's found dislike for...
Feel myself go still and quiet, then, and'm thinking needs must talk t'her once this is done, and afore she's after slipping dreams to anyone. Guessing she's no mind for who's listening.
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Date: 2010-04-26 05:21 pm (UTC)My smile is small and I nod. I know that as well as anyone. "At least with a dream you wake up," I shrug. Sucks that its short lived though. But it sucks even more to wake up to find out the nightmare was real. Been there done that one.
He barters. That would be good except I don't think I have anything he wants except for food, drink and Glass mentioned those. Not a big deal. "I can pay cash," I offer. He can use that to feed his precious dog if he wants. I don't want to feed him and nothing this guy is offering is gonna change that. I grin at the sorta questioning look Glass gives me. She seriously doesn't think this is for real does she?
Its too bad its not cos I could think of more fun things for myself to ask for. Especially if its only a dream. Nobody has to know and its not hurting anyone, right? "And the person who takes the potion remembers the dream, right?" Kind of a dumb question cos if they didn't, what would be the point? "What about if your dream is about someone you know? Would they be in the dream too?" Would be nice to see Lucien happy again.
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Date: 2010-04-26 11:26 pm (UTC)"That I will play by ear, as they say," I smile. "See how the trade treats me, yes? If it's good, I'll stay a while. This is a hard time of year for a man of my years to be walking."
She looks at me over her glass. Not stupid, Gaueko's whelp.
"What happens t'folk who trade you their dreams? Have they memory of a memory, or d'you only take impression, or is it gone entire from their minds?"
"They sell it wholesale it comes out brighter, and I pay a higher coin," I say. "But if they'd keep the shape of it, I can ask for something thinner. But people like to buy dreams best that have a weight to them."
"And the person who takes the potion remembers the dream, right? What about if your dream is about someone you know? Would they be in the dream too?"
"Remember it they will," I say with a nod. "And as for dreaming of friends, why that depends on whether what you're wanting is a daydream or a short but sweet reality," I say. "I can give you a fantasy to think on, and your friend can be as real in that as your own self, but it will only be a dream. But if you want a dream come walking, then for a friend to be in that asks a higher price. It's a harder magic."
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Date: 2010-04-27 03:22 am (UTC)"And the person who takes the potion remembers the dream, right?" Lannie says intent. "What about if your dream is about someone you know? Would they be in the dream too?"
"Depends on who," I say in soft aside, and the stem of the glass is thin as a child's rib in my fingers. Lannie's speaking more of dreams asleep, play-acts in the mind, gives chance to draw in others. Leave Uri answer the matter and hold myself still and steady. Hardly the idea of speaking with another in dream rather than waking that gives me pause, but the other...
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Date: 2010-04-27 04:57 pm (UTC)Sweet reality? Remembering a dream is one thing, and its cool, but actually making it for real? Sometimes a dream is enough. I shrug, "Not really a fantasy, I want to give them something to think on." I've already seen Lucien happy, and I hope he still is, but a lot of shit's gone down too. I could probably help without a dream, but it seems like it might be a safer place? Fleas aren't gonna teach John anything, unless we could make him dream about him getting dumped and having fleas or mange. That idea bring another smile to my face. Wish I could see that dream.
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Date: 2010-04-28 02:46 am (UTC)He suggests drink as payment...or food for me (and I sigh again as his hand brushes my head)...and then dreams in trade, of course. And I can see them both thinking of it. The wolf girl in particular. My tail brushes the floor again, and I roll over, the faithful pet asking for a belly rub. This is really just too fucking funny.
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Date: 2010-04-28 05:02 pm (UTC)"Good questions you ask, Mistress Beddau," I say. "The kind to alarm a salesman, in truth, but I have always appreciated curiosity." I raise my glass to her. "It's hard to rid a dream entire of its owner, but I do what I can. No man, nor woman either, wants to feel he's wearing shop-soiled goods. If it's secondhand it should be clean, you understand?"
"Not really a fantasy, I want to give them something to think on."
"Ah, a gift for a friend, I mark you," I say, nodding. "Yes, it could be done." I finish my stew. "Think on it, mistresses. I will be in a town a score of days, I warrant, business proving good. Ease my bones until the snow thins some." I put coin down on the table for the meal, and then I take out two very small vials, each containing a thimbleful of liquid, one pink, one pale green. "Take those as a taster, for your hospitality and your curiosity. The pink is a dream of cherry blossom, and the spring shade is the memory of walking into a cool shaded pool on a hot day." I smile. "Only enough there to last a few moments, friends, but the quality is good." I stand up. "Come, Rollo," I say. "We should be away. Good night to you," I say to the women.
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Date: 2010-04-28 05:43 pm (UTC)"Oh," I say, and distant I know I could hear a shattered absence if I tried, and my voice continues pleasant calm, "I mind that, yes. And I do weigh your honesty in making mention, and thank you for it." Find the smile's slipped and manage it again, and there're no teeth to it either. And think of the bowl of my glass broken and the sharded end stabbing down, driven into the fur of his belly, black blood welling around obsidian like rot from a spade-split shroud. Talk of dreams, that's one's come on particular sharp.
Oh, Shuck, you'd bring even faint aside of that at me, after, after-- - -
I would have your heart torn and bled.
Gift for a friend and revenge and swear I'm not following the matter of what Lannie wants, I ought sort that out a moment, if only to warn her off a target particular for revenge. Uri nods and excuses himself, coin set down and bottles gathered up, and two thin blades of glass set down by way of parting thanks and maybe word to be spread for aught he might be trading... can do worse in town than have a bartender speaking well of your goods, after all. "Come, Rollo. We should be away. Good night to you."
"T'you as well," I say, lifting my glass to him, "and safe travels."
Look to Lannie, then; hardly as if I can tell which dream is which in the black moment. "Take your pick," I say, "I've minded both, it's of a balance to me." Thoughts of a dream stripped clean's mixing in my mind with late spring and rough fabric and scrubbing mending piecing clothes until fingers bled. Never minded the work. If it's secondhand it should be clean.
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Date: 2010-04-30 04:50 pm (UTC)...He rolls over and exposes his belly to Uri. I try not to laugh and my drink goes down wrong. Now I'm covering my nose and mouth, trying not to choke. Fuck it burns.
"Ah, a gift for a friend, I mark you," I say, nodding. "Yes, it could be done."
Smiling behind my hands, I nod. "'K," I say in a tight rasp and almost laugh again. I'm glad Glass wishes Uri a good night cos I can't get my voice to come out as anything but a rasping whine and all I can do is smile and wave. They're gone by the time I finally catch my breath and I take a deep drink to clear my throat.
"Take your pick, I've minded both, it's of a balance to me."
Swiping one of the little bottles off the table I turn it in my hand. I didn't catch what he said about which is which. This one's warm and green. Stuffing it in my pocket, I pick up the dishes and set them on the bar, turning back to Glass. "I'm sorry, Glass, but your Dad's an ass. Family time for you must've been a bitch when you were a kid," I say and shake my head. I pull the little bottle back out and look at it. "You think he's for real?"
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Date: 2010-05-01 04:46 am (UTC)"I'm sorry, Glass, but your Dad's an ass. Family time for you must've been a bitch when you were a kid," and I sigh, rubbing my hand 'cross my eyes and looking up t'see her looking at a greened slip of a vial. Catch up the pink one and leave it in a pocket. "You think he's for real?"
"May well enough be," I say absent, "sure it's rather early t'be making claims can't pass if he's after staying 'round a fortnight or so. Any case," I add, lifting my head a little, "my mam was my parent and raised me, and've no father to speak-- wait, what?" Play out her words again and yes, I heard them aright. "Care t'have you speak more on that, Lannie."
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Date: 2010-05-01 05:02 am (UTC)"my mam was my parent and raised me, and've no father to speak-- wait, what? "Care t'have you speak more on that, Lannie."
Fuck.
"Uhm... Which part?" I ask, chewing on my lower lip a little bit. "You know Iago and I ran into him at the WhiteChapel, right?" I hope he told her about that and its okay that I know. Or is it the how I know?
Shit, shit, shit.
I'll play dumb and leave it there. Hope I get lucky. Should've asked if he had anything for luck. Taking a big swallow of my drink, I smile and try to shrug it off. I never forget and do or say anything weird.Normal just like everyone else. Yep, we saw him at the WhiteChapel, simple as that.
Yep. I'm so screwed.
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Date: 2010-05-01 05:17 am (UTC)"Heard mention of that, yes, fine," I say, waving it aside and leaning forward a little. "The part where you're after speaking of him t'me now, as one who only just left." Aright, I c'n tell and that's fine, but the shape of him aside shadows and night... that wasn't the gwyllgi, and even if it was, Iago said the Shuck was in the shape of a man when he came at them in the Whitechapel.
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Date: 2010-05-01 05:42 am (UTC)The part where you're after speaking of him t'me now, as one who only just left."
Oh fuck me.
Its one thing I like about her though. She's sharp and keeps Iago and that Dorian guy on their toes. I,however, take another big swallow of my drink. Not stalling, its just my throat feels dry. Okay, so I'm stalling. And now my glass is drained. How the fuck am I supposed to explain this?
I start off slow and quiet. "I... uhm... I can ...I am ... I can ..." I can what. I feel like I'm trying to dodge bullets here. Smell him? Not only does that sound gross, but its weird. "It was the dog," I say quickly. "It reminded me that I meant to offer my condolences for what you have to go through." What she said about him, sounds like we agree at least and maybe she'd understand better than some...
"He also smelled the same," I add in a lowered tone. "Didn't you notice it too?" She's got half his blood, wouldn't she at least get some of his powers? Not sure how that whole thing works. At least heightened senses aren't so unique in this place with walking gods. I chew on my lip again, waiting for her reply (http://community.livejournal.com/estdeus_innobis/346368.html).
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Date: 2010-04-30 03:10 am (UTC)I wait until we're a full street away, the path shadowy and deserted, before I change, strolling alongside him with my hands in my pockets. "Well, that was fun," I say, grinning. "So busy looking at me that they hardly noticed you. I almost wanted to spill the beans just to see the looks on their faces." Not that I would have.
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Date: 2010-04-30 12:26 pm (UTC)"So busy looking at me that they hardly noticed you. I almost wanted to spill the beans just to see the looks on their faces."
"An interesting night it was," I agree, and then I shake myself out of this body and into another, the gloaming-pale girl form. I do not want Uri seen with Gaueko yet, and I know this fragile body holds pleasant memories for Gaueko. "It has been some time since I saw you, friend," I say, voice now light and sweet, body swathed in a heavy coat.
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Date: 2010-04-30 04:13 pm (UTC)Sugaar tells me it's been a long time, and I nod. "Kaixo aspaldiko," I say in agreement. "But then, you've been busy. Bored with the redhead yet?". I wonder if he's killed her yet. I doubt it. If that was all he'd wanted her for he'd have done it long ago.
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Date: 2010-04-30 05:28 pm (UTC)I smile and turn around in the snow, putting my small hands up to Gaueko's lapels.
"Oh, dear friend," I say with a little laugh, "did you ever think I was interested in her for herself? If the fate-god had not barred you from seeing her," and here I raise my eyebrows a little to let him know what I think of that, "you would already have smelled out my purpose, unless you are less of a dog than I thought."
I link my arm in his, and we keep walking.
"And what have you been doing with yourself?" I ask. "Are you still grooming that girl to be your priestess?"