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estdeus_innobis[Evening of day 148, Monday, October 26]
[Kate's apartment]
[Continued from here.]
Glass and Hermia have gone over to Kate's to make pear preserves with her and Tess. Light conversation follows--the demon in Lucien, possible warding charms, the presence of Lilith, Hermia's magical studies, and Glass's heritage. You know. Kaffeeklatsch conversation, Excolo-style. Glass has gone downstairs to get ginger and ask Tess what the hell her brother thinks he's up to while Kate and Hermia are discussing Hermia's studies upstairs.
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Considering Tess and I weigh it out a moment afore asking, but think there's no harm in wanting to know. "'ve you the same oddity as John, then?"
[Open to Tess, Kate, and Hermia]
[Kate's apartment]
[Continued from here.]
Glass and Hermia have gone over to Kate's to make pear preserves with her and Tess. Light conversation follows--the demon in Lucien, possible warding charms, the presence of Lilith, Hermia's magical studies, and Glass's heritage. You know. Kaffeeklatsch conversation, Excolo-style. Glass has gone downstairs to get ginger and ask Tess what the hell her brother thinks he's up to while Kate and Hermia are discussing Hermia's studies upstairs.
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Considering Tess and I weigh it out a moment afore asking, but think there's no harm in wanting to know. "'ve you the same oddity as John, then?"
[Open to Tess, Kate, and Hermia]
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Date: 2009-07-07 03:47 pm (UTC)"There were people who needed help, and...this was a way to do it. I didn't know how lucky I was to have the library as a resource until I started looking," Hermia says, and I smile back at her, thinking how very blessed I am to know so many women who have strong, kind hearts.
"The collection isn't nearly complete, which can make things difficult sometimes, but it's still wonderful. I wonder how long Lydia's been collecting those books, waiting for someone to come along and find them?"
"Who knows what Lydia knows?" I wonder. "I wonder who she is... But I think I also don't want to know. Sometimes it is nice to have mysteries, if they are kind." I smile. "I'm glad your studies are going well. Is it difficult, learning by yourself?" The saucepan is full now. "What we do now," I say, transferring the pot to the stovetop, "is cover these with water," I explain, filling a jug and pouring it over the fruit, "and simmering." I pass a bag of sugar to Hermia along with a measuring cup. "Could you pour six cups of sugar into the mixing bowl while I zest some lemons?" I wonder why Glass and Tess aren't back. I do hope they aren't arguing.
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Date: 2009-07-07 06:57 pm (UTC)"Well, actually, I've had some help." He's open about it - I know that most of the time he's only discreet for my sake, and for that I'm grateful, but... "You've met Chester, haven't you? He's rather more...acquainted with magic than I am, and he's been helping fill in the parts that the books don't cover."
"What we do now," I say, transferring the pot to the stovetop, "is cover these with water," I explain, filling a jug and pouring it over the fruit, "and simmering." I pass a bag of sugar to Hermia along with a measuring cup. "Could you pour six cups of sugar into the mixing bowl while I zest some lemons?"
I start measuring out the sugar - that seems straightforward enough - and then Kate utterly loses me.. "Er, sorry. Zest?"
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Date: 2009-07-07 10:20 pm (UTC)"This is a zester," I say, "and look, I take the zest off the lemon by grating it." I rub the lemon over the zester and the zest falls onto the dish I've put below it. "You don't want to rub too hard, though, or you'll grate the pith into it. That's the white flesh beneath, and it tastes rather bitter." I smile and keep zesting. "Can you stir the pears to check they don't get stuck to the bottom of the pan?" A sweet smell of warm pear is rising, and I find myself relaxing. Cooking is soothing, I find. "You mentioned sewing earlier," I say. "Do you do much? I tend to spend a lot of winter evenings sewing and knitting."
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Date: 2009-07-07 11:40 pm (UTC)"Oh. Right. Sorry. I...er, haven't done much cooking," I explain.
"Can you stir the pears to check they don't get stuck to the bottom of the pan? You mentioned sewing earlier," I say. "Do you do much? I tend to spend a lot of winter evenings sewing and knitting."
"I haven't been doing much lately," - well, except for mending giant scarecrows and their uniforms! - "but I'd like to try to get in a bit more. It was one of the few proper-lady things that my governess tried to teach me to do that I actually liked. Mostly embroidery and that sort of thing, but it's easy to carry that over to more useful things. I've always wanted to try my hand at sewing clothes, but it's hardly worth it with such a good clothing shop right in town." I stir the pears, bending over the pot for a moment to breathe in the warm, delicate scent. "Mmmm, that smells lovely," I murmur. "I wouldn't have thought to add lemon."
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Date: 2009-07-08 12:24 am (UTC)I nod agreement. "Ma's a good 'nough cook, but the boys like plain, hearty fare." I smile over at Kate. "It's bin a nice change, stayin' with someone who enjoys it so much."
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Date: 2009-07-08 12:37 am (UTC)Tess praises my cooking and I flush, feeling so pleased somehow that she likes it so much, being here.
"Oh, I do love to cook," I say, "though I'm not half as good as Valmont," I add for Hermia's benefit. "I'm not surprised you don't cook when you have him." Though privately I do think it is a little silly of Hermia not to learn to cook or make clothes or similar things - not everywhere in the world is like Excolo, and everyday skills are so important. Or perhaps I am simply old fashioned.
The evening moves on and eventually the preserves are ready to be bottled.
"We'll leave them to cool," I say to Hermia and Glass, "but do come back and take some of the jars with you," I add, smiling as I make my farewells to them both. I turn back to Tess. "That was an interesting evening, wasn't it?" I say, a little drily, and I put the kettle back on the stove. I've had a lot to think about, and I think tea might help.
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Date: 2009-07-08 12:47 am (UTC)"That was an interesting evening, wasn't it?" She says it with some humour in her voice, 'n I give a bit 'v a weak laugh 'n a sigh. "Yeah, it was. Oh, that's lovely," I say as she puts the kettle on. "Did you have a good time, though?" I hope she did. I know I dint get 'long so well, but I dunt want t'be draggin' her away from her friends.
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Date: 2009-07-08 01:20 am (UTC)"Did you have a good time, though?"
"Oh, I did," I say. "Let's see. I learned my friend practises magic, and we talked about demons, and we made preserves... It's a lovely evening in Excolo," I say, and my smile twitches up a little and I can't help laughing. "Oh, Tess," I say. "We live in the strangest place." But despite my sigh at that I'm still smiling.
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Date: 2009-07-08 01:31 am (UTC)"Oh, I did," she says. "Let's see. I learned my friend practises magic, and we talked about demons, and we made preserves... It's a lovely evening in Excolo." She laughs 'n I can't help but join in a bit. "We live in the strangest place."
"I guess so," I say, shakin' my head. "Even growin' up with what I did, there's more 'n enough strangeness in town fer me." I get up pour the water into the teapot, bringin' it and some cups over fer us. "You bin learnin' lots 'a new stuff from your friend lately," I say, half smilin' and half soft, thinkin' 'v our talk and that she'd had a long talk with Mrs. Beddau 'afore that.
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Date: 2009-07-08 01:48 am (UTC)"I have," I say, as softly as she does. "It's - it's not all bad," I say, and I let my gaze hover on her for a minute, even though I can feel my cheeks burning a little. "There's - a lot of good things, actually, I've learned."
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Date: 2009-07-08 02:03 am (UTC)I nod, but there's somethin' - "Kate, I want you t'know - my brother 'n I - we - I - I'm sorry - forget it." There's no way I can tell her 'bout it all, and yet I care for her, more 'n anyone I can think 'v. "You know I'd never let you come t'harm, right?" My voice is anxious 'n I turn my cup in my hands.
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Date: 2009-07-08 02:10 am (UTC)"I know you wouldn't," I say, forehead creasing. I put down my cup, wondering what's the matter. "What's on your mind, Tess? Is something the matter with Johnny? And why do you think I'd have anything to fear?" I ask.
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Date: 2009-07-08 02:17 am (UTC)I'd sigh but I've got myself too wound up with wantin' t'tell her 'afore someone else does. "It's - Johnny's got himself mixed in with a bad crowd, 'n I just learned more 'v it than I'd thought. And there's some who think it'd bring you t'harm, especially with me bein' here." I try t'keep some 'a the bitterness out 'a my voice but some seeps through. "I got that straightened out some, but if - if you hear somethin' like that, I'm already tryin' t'deal with it." Or will be, soon as I track Johnny down.
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Date: 2009-07-08 02:27 am (UTC)"Oh, I'm sorry to hear he's mixing with bad folk," I say. The way she says some makes me think she must mean Glass. I do wish they could get along. I make a mental note to ask Glass about what she is worried about in particular, because I've never discounted Glass's views, but I do trust Tess. It surprises me a little how much I trust her, since I haven't known her long.
Tess looks wound up, and I have the oddest wish to smooth the lines out of her forehead and the tightness from her shoulders. I reach across and touch her hands around the cup she's holding.
"It's alright, Tess," I say gently. "I trust you. And if I can help with Johnny, just say the word. I - " I clear my throat. "There's a lot I would do for you, you know. Tess..." I feel my words trail off as my heart thumps hard in my chest, and I bite my bottom lip.
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Date: 2009-07-08 02:40 am (UTC)Her voice catches 'n I look up at her. "There's a lot I would do for you, you know. Tess..." She stops then and bites her lip, like she ain't sure how she feels 'r how t'say it. I lean forward and brush her lips with mine, quick but deliberate. "Thanks, Kate. I - you're good at makin' me feel better."
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Date: 2009-07-08 02:51 am (UTC)I think about all the things we've talked about tonight. I know what I am going to do with Laurence and Lugh is dangerous. I don't know what will happen, and while I won't let fear make me say anything I wouldn't otherwise, I also don't want - well. I don't want to regret anything if I... If things turn out badly for me.
"I'm glad I can make you feel better. You make me feel - " I pause. "I hardly know what, sometimes. But I... know I think about you all the time," I say, blushing, and I put my hand up to her cheek.
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Date: 2009-07-08 03:00 am (UTC)Oh, hell. She'll tell me if it's too much, too soon. I touch her cheek, mirrorin' her gesture, but I cup her jaw and draw her forward as I lean in again, kissin' her fer real this time, workin' gently at her lips with mine, not pushin' at her but not pullin' away neither.
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Date: 2009-07-08 11:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-08 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-08 03:48 pm (UTC)I know I must be red in the face, and it's hard to meet her eyes, but I do somehow, and I touch her cheek with my fingertips and touch her bottom lip with my thumb.
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Date: 2009-07-08 04:12 pm (UTC)It's different than with Syl. With her I'd figure that fer a quick prelude, but with Kate... It's close t'sex, bein' that close t'her and findin' she's willin' t'kiss me back. I try t'think 'a somethin' other t'do than gazin' at her, but nothin' comes t'mind 'n so I just watch her, meetin' her eyes and waitin' t'see how she reacts.
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Date: 2009-07-08 11:01 pm (UTC)"Well indeed," I say, and clear my throat. I push her hair behind her ear, and I feel another prickle of electricity as my thumb slides across her cheekbone. "Um, I should clear up," I say, going to the sink and filling it with water. I drop the things we used to make the preserves in, and I just stand by the sink for a moment until the colour in my face goes down a little. I breathe out through my nose and turn back to look at her.
"I don't - I don't regret doing that," I say. "It was - I like you," I say softly. "I do, a lot."
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Date: 2009-07-08 11:20 pm (UTC)Oh, Aradia. I know that blush 'n move, and that quick reassurance. Too bleedin' well. "But," I say softly, not movin' from the couch.
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Date: 2009-07-08 11:44 pm (UTC)"But nothing," I say softly, looking at her. "I like you, and I - I forget how to think sometimes when you look at me, and I don't know whether to be scared or excited."
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Date: 2009-07-08 11:51 pm (UTC)My heart lifts 'n I smile in relief. "I'm sorry, Kate. I just know this is all new fer you, and I worry sometimes, that I'll scare you off." I stand up and move over t'her, kissin' her light on the forehead. "I guess I worry too much and forget how sweet you are." I touch her on the shoulder and take a cloth t'wash the table up.
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Date: 2009-07-09 12:11 am (UTC)"I don't know if I'm so sweet," I say, but I smile as she picks up a cloth to wipe the table. I wash the dishes, and for a few minutes there's just the quiet clatter of dishes and other household things.
I dry my hands on a tea towel and turn back to her.
"So," I say, feeling my breath a little tight in my chest. "Does this - um. Does this mean we're... courting?" I ask, feeling my cheeks get red again. "I don't even know if that's the right word. For, you know. Girls."
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Date: 2009-07-09 12:20 am (UTC)"So," Kate says finishin', "does this - um. Does this mean we're... courting?" I stop and blink, 'cause I dint even think 'v it that way. "I don't even know if that's the right word. For, you know. Girls."
Huh. "I - I suppose. I dunt really know what t'call it, when it's like this." I blush a bit and walk over t'the sink, wringin' out the cloth. "Um. The few girls I bin with, it ain't really bin formal." I should 'a guessed it'd be different with Kate. "I always thought courtin' was gettin' ready fer marryin', and it ain't like girls can marry each other." Can they? I never had t'think 'v any 'a this, before. "It's got t'be a bit different, 'cause there's nothin' improper 'bout livin' with a girl, where if one 'v us was a man, it'd be talked 'bout all over town."
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Date: 2009-07-09 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-07 10:16 pm (UTC)"Johnny ain't odd," I say firmly, partly 'cause he ain't, 'ceptin' the witch-blood and that's the Family, and partly 'cause I still ain't givin' on him bein' able t'slip his skin. "And I ain't got nothin' that you ain't already heard tonight." Nothin' but Kate, and that's a talk I dunt want t'have with this woman.
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Date: 2009-07-07 11:06 pm (UTC)"'s a relief," I say mild, "as I'd hate for you to suit the Shuck same as your brother does. Particular as my friend seems minded to mind you." Think of telling her to come along, they'll be waiting for the ginger, but somehow imagine she'd take it poorly, so I only shrug and head upstairs. Thinking she's not particular inclined towards the Shuck, at least, and Kate trusts her. Rather settled my mind on the matter, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the evening.
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Date: 2009-07-07 11:36 pm (UTC)Well. I suppose that could 'a gone worse, though I hate givin' away so much as I did. I want t'be angry at her, I really do, but mostly I'm ticked at Johnny 'n worried fer him. If the hound-god has taken a shine t'him, and tellin' others, 'n takin' him out nights... Dammit. I take a few minutes t'compose myself 'afore headin' back up t'the rest 'v 'en. Hermia 'n Kate are chattin' pleasantly, 'n I busy myself preparin' the next batch.
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Date: 2009-07-09 12:47 am (UTC)"Um. The few girls I bin with, it ain't really bin formal."
A few? Oh. I wonder how many that means. I shouldn't think about it, really
"I always thought courtin' was gettin' ready fer marryin', and it ain't like girls can marry each other."
"I guess not," I say, and I feel a little sad at that, not because I think I'm going to go marrying Tess - but it seems sort of sad that, well, it's not an option. At least I don't think it is. I've never heard of it in any case.
"It's got t'be a bit different, 'cause there's nothin' improper 'bout livin' with a girl, where if one 'v us was a man, it'd be talked 'bout all over town."
"That's true," I say thoughtfully. "If a man was courting me, he'd come calling on me of an evening," I say, and I feel a little pang about Laurence, "and we'd go out and so on, and we'd see how we came to feel about each other." I brush a curl off my forehead. "But, well, you're living here, and I don't expect you to bring me a flower every time you see me," I say, and smile a little. "I guess I just like to know how things are laid out. It makes me feel more comfortable." I step a bit closer to her. "What do you want for us?" I say.
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Date: 2009-07-09 01:06 am (UTC)Kate seems t'be thinkin' on it, but it dunt sound like she's got much idea either. "If a man was courting me, he'd come calling on me of an evening, and we'd go out and so on, and we'd see how we came to feel about each other." I wonder if she's thinkin' 'a that big guy I saw her with at the park that first time. She never did say what happened with him, though it was strange seein' him at the church. "But, well, you're living here, and I don't expect you to bring me a flower every time you see me," she says with a smile, and I decide then t'bring her one tomorrow, 'cause it'll make her smile.
She steps closer. "I guess I just like to know how things are laid out. It makes me feel more comfortable. What do you want for us?"
I look at her, thinkin'. "I - I dunt know, exactly. I spent so much time thinkin' 'a how t'tell you, I dint consider much 'a what'd come after." I look 'round at her home, where I've lived these past few weeks. "We've gotten real close, and I like that. I like livin' with you, Kate, I like how I'm gettin' used t'seein' you every day, t'gettin' t'know all the little everyday things... I - if it were different, and we'd bin together longer, I'd have asked you." I drop my eyes 'n blush a bit, tryin' t'think 'a how this can work so she'd be comfortable. "I - if you'd rather, I could move out. Court you in a more normal way, even if I'm a girl. But if - if you're comfortable knowin' how I want you and still want me here, I could stay."
I look back up. "There's things I'd like t'show you, when you're ready," I say gently, touchin' her cheek.
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Date: 2009-07-09 01:41 am (UTC)"I - if you'd rather, I could move out. Court you in a more normal way, even if I'm a girl. But if - if you're comfortable knowin' how I want you and still want me here, I could stay."
"I'm not sure," I say, wrinkling my forehead a bit. "I like having you here a lot," I say. "It... it makes me feel happy, knowing you're around. But I don't know if you should go on staying on the sofa forever, and I - well. It seems a bit, um." I am blushing again, and I'm amazed I haven't fainted from all the blood rushing to my face tonight. "It seems a bit early to say you can sleep in my room." I brush the back of her hand so she doesn't think I'm rejecting her. "I guess we need to figure out if you're planning to stay in town for a while and work and such, and that would help us decide what's the best thing to do about living arrangements," I say, as decisively as I can when she's standing that close to me.
"There's things I'd like t'show you, when you're ready," Tess continues, touching her hand to my cheek, and I swallow, my throat feeling dry. I feel a bit scared, but I also feel a kind of nervous excitement.
"I - I think that could be okay, one day. I hope," I say, and I move a little closer to her, feeling her palm warm against my cheek, and somehow managing to feel a little brave, I lean in and kiss her.
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Date: 2009-07-09 01:50 am (UTC)I nod, 'cause even if I'll be sad t'go she's right. We can't really go on the way we have, not bein' one 'r the other. "That sounds - wise," I say. "I can look 'round fer work. The way town's bin it won't be hard t'find somethin'. And there's still plenty 'a places t'stay, though," I add, "it'd be nice t'find somethin' nearer t'here than the old apartments."
She moves closer t'me. "I - I think that could be okay, one day. I hope." It makes my chest tight t'think maybe it won't work, that she'll find she can only want me so much, but there's nothin' t'be done 'bout that. And it eases as she kisses me, and I kiss her back, and somehow we'll figure it out.