Give Me Something for the Dream That I Am In

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

Lilith's Garden
Evening, Friday 2 October

I have dragged my feet for what seems like months, though, in truth, I suppose it has been millenia upon millenia that this confrontation has been waiting. It is peculiar that it would occur now, in this place of all places, during this time. I already know what to expect in a way, but we have both changed over time, I am most certain of that.

Orderly, I lay the books one atop another then lift them and set them on the floor in front of the trunk beside my bed. Opening it, I lift clothing and an ancient blade out of it and set them aside. I shift things around, feeling more than looking for that glass cylinder. My fingertips brush it and a shiver runs down my spine. I had hoped that I would never use this. That a need would never arise for me to find her. I raise it to eye level and grimace at the locket of hair corked within the flawless green-tinged container.

I open it and lay the hair in my palm. My eyes fix on it for a long moment as the reasonable, logical side of me tells me not to do this. To shut it back away in the dark and never speak of what happened.

My fist closes around the locket of hair and I shut my eyes. A rush of heat hits my face and then is gone. I open my eyes to look upon an entrance that is quite similar to others I have seen before.

"Lilith," I shout out. "Grant me entrance or I will enter by force."

[OPEN to Lilith]

[CLOSED]

Comments

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

My name echos on the wind, spoken by voices both known and unknown and though I listen, I pay them little mind. They were not calling me and even if they were, I would not have been moved to answered any of them, save one. My Marbas spoke of the names that once belonged to me. Names lost and then found, only to be lost again. And I watched as he toyed with the humans, laughing as he almost found himself trapped in his own game.

"Lilith, Grant me entrance or I will enter by force."

Now another calls my name, with a voice I know well. My garden remembers it too and Ooh how it shivers in rage, hungry for his flesh and his blood. I am tempted to let him try to enter by force and watch my garden have its revenge. I grant him nothing, and materialize behind him instead. "As I recall, your father had the very same idea. I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, hmm?" I purr in his ear. Laughing as he spins around to face me.

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

"As I recall, your father had the very same idea." I spin to face her, knowing that I look shocked. I did not anticipate her coming out to me. "I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, hmm?"

"Never does, Lilith. You know that better than anyone." It is not wise of me to goad her or tease her, but I am displeased with her. Like I was all those lifetimes ago.

"You have tormented someone close to me."

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"Never does, Lilith. You know that better than anyone."

I narrow my eyes at his response but say nothing more. His father paid for his transgressions, I made sure of that. How fitting it was that the name he spoke with his last breath was mine. I wonder what Cain's will be.

"You have tormented someone close to me." he says. Ooh how cute, he's angry with me. Good. I always liked him better that way. "Have I?" I ask, smiling as I tilt my head. "He seems to do that well enough on his own," I giggle, "I simply provided him with further inspiration. Be careful what you wish for, Cain. I would think you know that better than anyone. I know dear sweet Laurence does," I smile, running my finger along his jaw. "Love me, Laurence," I whisper in the voice of the girl. And then I laugh.

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Have I?" she asks, proud of what she has done. Of course. "He seems to do that well enough on his own. I simply provided him with further inspiration. Be careful what you wish for, Cain. I would think you know that better than anyone. I know dear sweet Laurence does." She smiles, all beauty and cruelty at once. My jaw muscles tense at the feeling of her finger on my jaw. "Love me, Laurence." Her voice is a duplicate of Kate's but her laugh is all Lilith.

"Your mockery does not flatter. You have not grown. You are the same sad, lonely wretch of a creature that I left among the burning ruins of our folly."

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"Your mockery does not flatter. You have not grown. You are the same sad, lonely wretch of a creature that I left among the burning ruins of our folly."

My eyes narrow and light with flame and all I can think of is how very easy it would be to remove his spine from his body and rid myself of his incessant whining once and for all. To make him scream as he did to those who were mine. But I think that is what he wants, and far be it from me to end his his suffering and torment. Not yet anyway. His debt to me has not been paid.

My form heats but does not fall away as I laugh, circling him slowly, "Does it not?" I ask, sweetly. "Whatever shall I do with myself knowing that I am such a disappointment to you," I say dryly, rolling my eyes. "The only folly on that day was my allowing you to leave instead of letting you burn with the rest. But I assure you, when the day comes, I will not make that same mistake again, My Cain. But your suffering is far from over yet," I say stopping in front of him, smiling serenely as his clothes begin to smoke.

I think I did come to love him once, when I still allowed such emotions to occur. Until the end, when he showed me that Iblis was right and there were far greater things to be learned from suffering and pain. "As much as I enjoy these wonderful little chats of ours, was there another purpose to your visit today, besides wasting my time?"

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

The heat off her rises but she keeps her form. I have seen her true self before and it is not something I fear. "Does it not? Whatever shall I do with myself knowing that I am such a disappointment to you. The only folly on that day was my allowing you to leave instead of letting you burn with the rest. But I assure you, when the day comes, I will not make that same mistake again, My Cain. But your suffering is far from over yet." I see smoke rising from me as she sears my clothing slowly. "As much as I enjoy these wonderful little chats of ours, was there another purpose to your visit today, besides wasting my time?"

My eyes narrow at her. Subtle, but I can see that she has changed. I would never have thought it, but she has become more patient, it seems. Pushing down my anger, I inhale deeply the lush fruity scents of her garden that mingle in contrast with the sulfuric tang of her aura.

"Perhaps I would simply like to talk, Lilith." When together, we would often walk together, talking of nothing. It is odd that, seeing her again after all these years, I actually miss that. "However, if you are too busy for such a thing, I will take my leave."

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps I would simply like to talk, Lilith." he says after taking a deep breath.

I consider him for a moment, feeling my own eyes narrow even more. Fool me once dear Cain and you do not get another try. His clothes still smolder and patches of his skin have begun to take on a rosy tint, making me muse on if he would continue to stand there as his clothes melt away or ignite into flames. He always was stubborn, to an utterly ridiculous yet generally amusing extent.

"Perhaps you should find a better way to begin your conversations then. What is it that you would like to talk about, Cain?" I ask evenly, slowly drawing the heat back into my form. It is not in my nature to forgive but a conversation between us will have little bearing on that in the end. And for now, I find that I am curious as to what he would say.

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

The heat does not subside and I feel my flesh tightening slightly. Perhaps I should leave. Perhaps I should let her consume me in flames. "Perhaps you should find a better way to begin your conversations then. What is it that you would like to talk about, Cain?"

"You, Lilith," I say firmly. "Our last conversation did not go well. I know I did not start this one well, either." Saying that brings Eris to mind. I do not know still whether I have truly been dismissed from her as a worshiper or if it was a more temporary dismissal. I do know that I am as yet unprepared to discover which it is. "Why did you target Laurence?"

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

I sigh. And here I thought perhaps he wanted to talk of something interesting. As if I would ever explain my reasons to do or not to do something to anyone, let alone him. My reasons are my own.

I laugh, "Oh, Cain. After all this time you still ask questions that you know I will not answer," I smile indulgently, "Why would I not target him, as you put it? What makes him better than anyone else?" I ask, still smiling as I tilt my head.

"And I would think you of all creatures would know, why." I say, taking his arm and beginning to walk. I do wonder if he would be so bothered if it hadn't been someone he cared for.

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

She toys with me, mocks me, with things I already know. With answers that I anticipated. It is interesting how little change occurs in those of us granted immortality. She is the same woman I knew all those ages ago and I, the same man. She takes my arm and we start to walk. My other hand settles on her elbow.

"I have good reason for understanding your 'why' and I know that you are not that deliberate. I suspect you came looking for me and settled for the next best victim of opportunity."

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"I have good reason for understanding your 'why' and I know that you are not that deliberate. I suspect you came looking for me and settled for the next best victim of opportunity."

"Perhaps," I smile and shrug, "Or perhaps he just stood out to me like an apple waiting to be plucked from a tree. He was quite a pliable creature and he responded deliciously." Sad, lonely little priest, I'll answer you, even if your god will not.

"I hear you have a pretty little Greek friend," I say with a small smile. Likely a poor attempt at a replacement for me. He is so very much like his father at times. "Is she helping you find your forgiveness?"

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps or perhaps he just stood out to me like an apple waiting to be plucked from a tree. He was quite a pliable creature and he responded deliciously." I shake my head, consider answering her, but decide it best to leave the conversation about Laurence there. I understand that addressing what occurred as I have, Lilith's interest in him will only increase. I am sorry, Laurence, for having placed you in this position.

"I hear you have a pretty little Greek friend. Is she helping you find your forgiveness?"

So, she knows of Eris. I should not be surprised. Really, I should not. Though, I suppose I am not. The momentary shock swiftly settles into the pit of my gut, laying heavy within me as worry. Eris, even at the peak of her power, would have been little match to Lilith. Now that she is diminished...

"She is not. She did not when I was first with her." I do not know whether I am still with her. I walked away once and it seems I have done it again. Perhaps, however, I have not...

A laugh escapes my lips and I shake my head, "I was exceptionally slow to learn that I would not find redemption through some other entity. It should have only taken my time with you, but," I hold up the hand that was resting on her arm and shrug. "Such is the folly of Man."

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

Emotion flits across his face at the mention of the Greek. As if in a town like this, that secret would be kept from me.

"She is not. She did not when I was first with her." "Naturally," I say neutrally as we continue to walk. "The Greeks have never been much use to anyone but themselves. Considering their lineage, one can hardly say that comes as a surprise."

He shakes his head and laughs, continuing, "I was exceptionally slow to learn that I would not find redemption through some other entity. It should have only taken my time with you, but, Such is the folly of Man."

I see his sense of humor has improved over time. "My, my, so he can be taught," I say. A smile stretching slowly across my lips, "I was beginning to wonder if perhaps the fruit from one of those trees had gone bad. But it is that folly which makes you all so much fun," I wink, flashing him a wicked smile. I think it was rare moments like these, along with a hunger for suffering and blood that nearly rivaled my own, which held my interest in him for as long as it did. And that dark skin of his did look positively divine covered in their blood. Glimmering like a dark crimson jewel in the moonlight. "Perhaps you will find your redemption though me," I laugh, "The irony would suit the creator I think." And it would hardly be the first punishment to be like that.

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Naturally. The Greeks have never been much use to anyone but themselves. Considering their lineage, one can hardly say that comes as a surprise."

I cannot stop the small smile that pulls at my mouth. "And which of the Greeks did you have the pleasure of knowing?" Oh, the innuendo there that I am certain is quite accurate.

"My, my, so he can be taught. I was beginning to wonder if perhaps the fruit from one of those trees had gone bad. But it is that folly which makes you all so much fun," she winks and gives me a wicked smile so like the ones I would get when we were consorts. I find that I am smiling back as I remember the lighter reasons for wanting to be with this fiery woman. "Perhaps you will find your redemption though me. The irony would suit the creator I think."

"It would, yes? Perhaps you will be correct and that we have finally come upon each other again for more reason than simply tormenting each other."

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"And which of the Greeks did you have the pleasure of knowing?" I laugh. "Ooh, It wasn't my pleasure, believe me," I say rolling my eyes. "I found most of them to be a tremendous bore, especially their patriarch." They were always far to wrapped up in each other to be of much use to me. And I can hardly care about what one god does to another. Now, turning them against their worshipers is another thing, that was always sooo much more fun.

"It would, yes? Perhaps you will be correct and that we have finally come upon each other again for more reason than simply tormenting each other."

Cain looks at me and smiles back, and when I look at him I can still see those things inside him that he always so desperately tried to hide or repress. The anger and rage and the desire for revenge, and as much as he will never admit it to himself, the fact that he enjoyed it. I never make them what they are, I just show them what's already there. "Oooh I'm sure we have. Simple torment can be such a bore after awhile," I tease, squeezing his arm. "When you live as long as we have, nothing is ever simple," Torment is only the beginning of what is in store for you, dear Cain. As I said, I do not forgive and I never forget. Redemption can come in many, many different ways. "But we did have such wonderful fun," I laugh, smiling playfully up at him.

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Ooh, It wasn't my pleasure, believe me. I found most of them to be a tremendous bore, especially their patriarch." I nod. Two hundred years serving Eris in Greece and I learned the same thing. Eris and her sisters were really the only interesting ones. All the others were so self-absorbed and generally whiny. That's not to say she and her sisters were not completely focused on themselves.

"Oooh I'm sure we have. Simple torment can be such a bore after awhile. When you live as long as we have, nothing is ever simple, but we did have such wonderful fun."

I do not want to agree with her, but what she says is true. I let myself loose in my thirst for revenge. Revenge against my parents for losing Eden-- Lilith let me in on that dark secret of my mother's weakness; revenge against the Creator for cursing me; and revenge against myself for having struck Abel down. That thirst so often left me drenched in the blood of countless men, men whom took it upon themselves to think they could eliminate the blemish upon Earth of the Marked Man and the First Woman.

"We certainly did. And now you are here, hmm? Looking for more fun?"

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"We certainly did. And now you are here, hmm? Looking for more fun?"

I laugh, hugging his arm tighter against my side, "Have I ever had to look for it?" In this town opportunity practically runs straight into you. Its just a matter of what one has a taste for that day. I do wonder if he's met the pretty little blood drinker yet and what Cain will do once he does. His disease may well hide him from Cain but I think it will be interesting to see.

"Besides blacksmithing and folly, what are you doing here, hmm? Looking for some fun of your own?" I ask playfully, turning slightly an tracing a warm finger lightly over the tattoo on his arm. "This is new," I say smiling up at him.

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Have I ever had to look for it?"

I shake my head and laugh with her. "Never and most certainly not in Excolo."

"Besides blacksmithing and folly, what are you doing here, hmm? Looking for some fun of your own?" She traces the design darker than my skin. "This is new."

"Not so new. I used to think that Excolo was merely another stop in my wanderings. Over six years and, now that I know who is here in this place--" Like Lilith and the Serpent and numerous gods that seek to harm the people with whom I live. Not to mention Eris and Kaeli and Laurence and Kate and countless others that I have grown and am growing to care for more and more-- "I do not believe that I will be leaving it," I say with a finality that I am certain will not be lost on her.

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"Not so new. I used to think that Excolo was merely another stop in my wanderings. Over six years and, now that I know who is here in this place--I do not believe that I will be leaving it,"

He is staying because he knows we are here and believes he will find his end here as well. Or rather hopes is more accurate, I think. "Well, I'm sure you will be leaving it, the question is when and how," I laugh. Or if I will allow it, and why would I want to do such a thing when his immortality causes him to suffer so deliciously. As does Iblis's pet god, whom I am far from done with yet. Judging by the currents of power in the town, he has been a busy little thing too. "I guess we will just have to wait and see, won't we," I say as we reach the edge of the forest.

Pausing, I consider him for a moment, I could ask what he plans to do while he is here, but I have little interest and he would be even less interested in telling me were I to ask. Our conversation is at an end. Smiling I release his arm and step in front of him, "But for now, I think it is time for me to take my leave." I lean forward, brushing my lips against his cheek, "Until next time, dear Cain," I say, fading into the night.

[cain-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Well, I'm sure you will be leaving it, the question is when and how," she laughs.

"Of course." I know that she thinks she has some deciding power over my End, but I think her ego allows her far more credit than she has for that.

"I guess we will just have to wait and see, won't we." She pauses and I can feel the decision she comes to, can see the slight change in her body language. She is finished here. "But for now, I think it is time for me to take my leave." Leaning forward, she kisses my cheek and says, "Until next time, dear Cain," then everything fades to black.

Slowly, my eyes open and I am returned to my room. Opening my fist, I let the locket of her hair fall back into the trunk. My friends need to be warned. Laurence needs to know about what happened to him. Kate should know about what happened to him. Not only will I not be an active participant in Lilith's cruelty, she will neither find me such a cooperative nor such a passive person.