Tell me what's it all for if you're not terrified to fail?

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

[Mid-morning, Friday October 30th, day 152]
[The Miskatonic]


I have not seen Lucien or Wanda since that horrible evening two days ago. Thinking back on it, I still can hardly believe that Lucien would be so very cruel, to say such things to Wanda...and I can only assume since he has not come by to see me that he has not yet apologized to her. Or perhaps she has not let him apologize. I would not blame her if she has not.

The true shame of it is that I understand what he was saying...that Wanda is perhaps rushing into this relationship with Kent, that she has made some poor decisions of late...but he had no right to say what he did, and no matter what he says to me, I know that the majority of the venom came from his own jealousy, his own unwillingness to share. No, no matter what Lucien's concerns are, he must first deal with his own baser emotions before he begins to address Wanda's problems.

I should go and visit her...see if she is well, if she needs me...and I think that I will do so this weekend. But today, I found that I wished to be alone for a time, to collect my thoughts and enjoy some time to myself. And so I gently begged off breakfast at home, and instead collected my book and my cane and made my way to Main Street, to the Miskatonic cafe. Tulzcha seats me at a small table in the corner and takes my order, and after she leaves I sip tea and try to lose myself in my book.

I find, however, that I cannot concentrate. Lucien's words, and the look in Wanda's eyes, keep intruding into my mind. Finally with a sigh, I set the book aside. Outside, the day is grey, with the autumn sun barely peeking through the billowing clouds. I wonder idly if it will rain later.


[OPEN]
[CLOSED]

Tell me what's it all for if you're not terrified to fail?

[lei-miao-shan.livejournal.com]

[Mid-morning, Friday October 30th, day 152]
[The Miskatonic]


I have not seen Lucien or Wanda since that horrible evening two days ago. Thinking back on it, I still can hardly believe that Lucien would be so very cruel, to say such things to Wanda...and I can only assume since he has not come by to see me that he has not yet apologized to her. Or perhaps she has not let him apologize. I would not blame her if she has not.

The true shame of it is that I understand what he was saying...that Wanda is perhaps rushing into this relationship with Kent, that she has made some poor decisions of late...but he had no right to say what he did, and no matter what he says to me, I know that the majority of the venom came from his own jealousy, his own unwillingness to share. No, no matter what Lucien's concerns are, he must first deal with his own baser emotions before he begins to address Wanda's problems.

I should go and visit her...see if she is well, if she needs me...and I think that I will do so this weekend. But today, I found that I wished to be alone for a time, to collect my thoughts and enjoy some time to myself. And so I gently begged off breakfast at home, and instead collected my book and my cane and made my way to Main Street, to the Miskatonic cafe. Tulzcha seats me at a small table in the corner and takes my order, and after she leaves I sip tea and try to lose myself in my book.

I find, however, that I cannot concentrate. Lucien's words, and the look in Wanda's eyes, keep intruding into my mind. Finally with a sigh, I set the book aside. Outside, the day is grey, with the autumn sun barely peeking through the billowing clouds. I wonder idly if it will rain later.


[OPEN]
[CLOSED]

Down by the River

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

October 30th, late morning (day 152)
The river, near Harman's Boat

The River sent me to learn about dreams so I did. Went to the library and got some books, went to the service on the Wednesday and ended up talking to the woman who led the mass. We talked about dreams and the language used in the service. Sumerian. Sounds almost as interesting as the language itself. I want to learn that one as well. I haven't forgotten what I said that day by the river. I still want to learn all the languages in the world. Or at least all the ones people use. Even if this one is only used for religious purposes. The dreams didn't stop like we hoped they would but at least they don't scare me so much anymore. Some of them are even nice. All are weird. Especially the ones that try to mix the river into my life since becoming.

Then after all the reading and talking and dreaming I went back to the River to share. Pontarlier welcomed me back and together we decided that as dreaming is part of being human that we won't try to get rid of them anymore instead we shall try to understand them as other humans do. It is good that there is a temple with people dedicated to understanding dreams. Otherwise I'd have to ask Maryk and Karina and I'm sure they'd worry. I don't want them to be worried. They are happy now that Karina is better and I don't want that to stop.

The River shared something else with me  too. There's a boat that unlike all the others didn;t just stop and unload things or people and then take on others and leave. This one tied itself to the riverbank and stayed. It wasn't left there, its people are still there. But it didn't leave.  Pontarlier is curious about it and its people. So am I. We agreed that I will go and ask them about it.

Today there is no rain but it has clouds so there may be rain tomorrow. I braid my hair loosely so that if I want to I can let it fall free with a shake or two of my head. Since I expect to go back to the River after I talk to the boat's people I wear a simple light coloured dress that i can take off easily if I want. it is getting a bit cold so I put on the new red stockings and dark coloured shoes that Karina gave me.


I wander down to the town and start looking for the boat. There it is! It looks so strange floating on the water like a tree but not so solid. Not inside. and it has all those ropes and big pieces of cloth! I walk right up to it and look up at the man sitting on the edge. He has grey hair and dark clothes and he smells of riverwater and a bit like Maryk after he smokes but the smell is even nastier. There is also something really familiar about him. It's like the feeling I get at teh library but even stronger. Like I know him. But I don't. It sorta feels like on of thaoe confusing dreams, but I know I'm not asleep!

I grip my skirt tightly in one hand and smile up at him. "Hello. Is this your boat?"

[Open to Harman]

Down by the River

[leah-pontarlier.livejournal.com]

October 30th, late morning (day 152)
The river, near Harman's Boat

The River sent me to learn about dreams so I did. Went to the library and got some books, went to the service on the Wednesday and ended up talking to the woman who led the mass. We talked about dreams and the language used in the service. Sumerian. Sounds almost as interesting as the language itself. I want to learn that one as well. I haven't forgotten what I said that day by the river. I still want to learn all the languages in the world. Or at least all the ones people use. Even if this one is only used for religious purposes. The dreams didn't stop like we hoped they would but at least they don't scare me so much anymore. Some of them are even nice. All are weird. Especially the ones that try to mix the river into my life since becoming.

Then after all the reading and talking and dreaming I went back to the River to share. Pontarlier welcomed me back and together we decided that as dreaming is part of being human that we won't try to get rid of them anymore instead we shall try to understand them as other humans do. It is good that there is a temple with people dedicated to understanding dreams. Otherwise I'd have to ask Maryk and Karina and I'm sure they'd worry. I don't want them to be worried. They are happy now that Karina is better and I don't want that to stop.

The River shared something else with me  too. There's a boat that unlike all the others didn;t just stop and unload things or people and then take on others and leave. This one tied itself to the riverbank and stayed. It wasn't left there, its people are still there. But it didn't leave.  Pontarlier is curious about it and its people. So am I. We agreed that I will go and ask them about it.

Today there is no rain but it has clouds so there may be rain tomorrow. I braid my hair loosely so that if I want to I can let it fall free with a shake or two of my head. Since I expect to go back to the River after I talk to the boat's people I wear a simple light coloured dress that i can take off easily if I want. it is getting a bit cold so I put on the new red stockings and dark coloured shoes that Karina gave me.


I wander down to the town and start looking for the boat. There it is! It looks so strange floating on the water like a tree but not so solid. Not inside. and it has all those ropes and big pieces of cloth! I walk right up to it and look up at the man sitting on the edge. He has grey hair and dark clothes and he smells of riverwater and a bit like Maryk after he smokes but the smell is even nastier. There is also something really familiar about him. It's like the feeling I get at teh library but even stronger. Like I know him. But I don't. It sorta feels like on of thaoe confusing dreams, but I know I'm not asleep!

I grip my skirt tightly in one hand and smile up at him. "Hello. Is this your boat?"

[Open to Harman]