Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

Day 100, Tuesday, September 8th, dusk

I have been busy since our visit to the lady's garden. There are still places hot in the back of my mind. Banked like coals that can flare at the slightest touch. Instead of touching them I spent the morning beginning an inventory of my attic. The afternoon at the park was quite pleasant as well. Now though, it is back to work.

There is finally enough data to start analysis. Compilations and notes start taking place. I find new volumes at hand as I ponder new avenues of thought, new connections of events. The writing is sometimes Lydia's familiar hand, sometimes not. I am curious at times at whether she has other people such as I. *Oh, you are people now are you, Monster?* Other locations, or is it the town of Excolo that brings out such a unique building? But curiosities that have no data are swiftly overwhelmed with the information taking shape before me.

Looking up at the maps I have hung on the wall, I place another careful dot. Excolo detailed, Excolo and surrounding countryside. A swirl of different colored dots arch across both, different colors for different events. Shades of blue and red... damn deities.

I should have some kind of designation for time lapse as well...

[Open to Luke] Continued here. Closed.

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[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

I have found that the easiest measure of Luke's unease is the amount of circles he talks around the subject before he actually addresses it. This definitely qualifies for a larger measure of circumlocution.

When he does finally state it I blink for a second. Setting down my cup, I seat myself beside him and wrap my arm about his shoulder. "How did he take it? Did he, you mentioned Kaeli-san," another slow breath, "Did he hurt you?"

I find myself leaning against him and holding him close. Regardless of what happened he is here and safe.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

He don't say nothing at first. Try not to wince, cause see, I said it was stupid, and it is stupid. Thing is, I can't even work out which bit of it is stupid. "How did he take it? Did he, you mentioned Kaeli-sanl Did he hurt you?" Kaeli? Oh, right. Shake my head and sit there quiet for a moment, then start up again. Doing this all wrong and out of order. As bloody usual.

"Samuel? No, he ain't hurt me or nothing. That stuff with Miss Kaeli, that was the other day. They ain't the same thing, not- well, kind of. Sort of a long story." He puts his arm round me and I lean right up against his side, just trying to breathe steady now cause I don't want him to feel how I'm all shaken up. "Well, he didn't like it. Course he didn't, would you? I couldn't even tell what he thought, he was all..." Make an exasperated sorta noise. "I dunno. But he weren't happy, and he said not to tell Elias cause Elias wouldn't be so nice, and he's bloody right there, Elias'd be pissed and no fucking mistake, so- so- so what'm I s'posed to do now, Samuel ain't even looking at me no more and maybe he'll tell Elias or dad or..." Take a bloody breath, Luke, jesus. "He sorta guessed, I think. Maybe a bit. He was pissed cause I yelled at him a little bit."

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Samuel? No, he ain't hurt me or nothing. That stuff with Miss Kaeli, that was the other day. They ain't the same thing, not- well, kind of. Sort of a long story."

I let out the breath I was not aware I was holding. Luke would be quite cross were I to hurt his family for hurting him. The briefest overview pours from him. "Well, were a sibling to tell me something so important to him I would like to think I would continue to love and value him. But even in the feudal times of Nippon we had a different view of men together than the West."

"He was pissed cause I yelled at him a little bit." I pull back to raise my eyebrow a bit at that. "I must point out from personal experience, Luke-kun, when you yell at someone it is not usually without merit. Did he merit it?"

Leaning back into him, "And I should like to know what happened in that long story that involves Kaeli-san at some point this evening..."

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

"Did you? I never knew that." Seems like most folks did, 'cept us. Seems like nearly everyone's more sensible than folk back in Dry Run, sometimes, only it weren't so bad, was it? I got my family there, and they was always good to me. Never went hungry, never got beat by dad. Maybe it's just ungrateful, thinking like that. But he seems like he was real worried 'bout what Samuel'd do, so after a bit I tell him what he said and what I said and everything, all of it - cause it's sorta fresh in my mind still. When I've finished I look up again (cause it's hard saying all that stuff, and I don't like saying it in front of him, and it makes me feel sorta ashamed and proud at once). Shrug a bit.

"Just.. don't like lying to folk. Just don't like it, it don't feel right. Specially not Samuel, cause he's always looked out for me. Just lately, he don't seem like he cares what I think about how he does it." Stop a while and look down, fiddling with the little cup. "Plus, you know, before... I felt so bad cause I knew God didn't like it. Only now there ain't just that god, there's loads, and some of 'em seem just fine with it."

Grin and bite my lip when he says about me shouting at him. "Yeah, I reckon so." Don't say no more though. Least not yet. Don't want to get into that whole thing till I can tell him 'bout it properly, and I can't think of how to do it 'cept backwards and that ain't no good to anyone. "And I should like to know what happened in that long story that involves Kaeli-san at some point this evening..." He leans against me again and after a bit I put my arm round his waist and curl my fingers into the back of his shirt. "'Kay. What- um, what was that stuff you gave me? Can I have another one?" Grin a bit and duck my head. "That was sorta weird."

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

He tells me the whole story and conflict continues beneath my calm face. From the standards of his brother, he is looking out for Luke. Samuel has not yet come to terms with a world that has different morals and mores than Dry Run. Yet when he comes to the crude language I gasp a bit, only to let it out in a bark of laughter of Luke's reply.

"Oh no!" Raise my hands at his expression, "I think it was an entirely appropriate response. I am just thinking of how his expression must have gone." Reach for him again, "I am glad you were finally able to be open with him."

"Just.. don't like lying to folk. Just don't like it, it don't feel right." "I think it is a hard thing to wall away and deny a part of yourself. So often it leads to grief."

"I felt so bad cause I knew God didn't like it. Only now there ain't just that god, there's loads, and some of 'em seem just fine with it."

At that I lean back and think before I speak in return, "My opinion, based on experience more often that not, is that men put words they want to hear in the mouths of gods to justify their fears; and gods put reasons in the mouths of men to justify their actions. That can be for good or ill, but it does not always mean what they want it to..."

He asks for more of the sake and I lean forward to fill it before settling against his side once more, comforted by the pull of his hand on my shirt. "It is sake, commonly translated as rice wine. I have always found the potency closer to whiskey myself. Traditionally we would drink it hot, and perhaps rim the cup with salt." I really should start stocking my place better since I seem to now have companions who visit.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

What is it with folk bloody laughing every time I do something! Blush right up to my hair, and I ain't too sure 'bout appropriate neither, but I seem to be yapping out any old thing I please when I talk to Samuel these days. "It was something alright," I mumble, sorta smiling when he pulls me in again. "Still don't know if I'm glad. I- Maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut. Only-" Nod a bit, cause I've said about the lying. "Yeah. You know. He's right about Elias though. Elias don't like that stuff, he won't put up with it. Gotta look out for the family, cause he's the oldest, you know?" Sort of trail off. "It is hard to, yeah," I say, and that's the truth.

He pulls back to look at me, only I'm all jumpy still and I get fidgety with him looking so thoughtful. But he ain't thinking 'bout me. "My opinion, based on experience more often that not, is that men put words they want to hear in the mouths of gods to justify their fears; and gods put reasons in the mouths of men to justify their actions. That can be for good or ill, but it does not always mean what they want it to..."

Sit there thinking 'bout that for a while. Reckon I've got a lot to say 'bout that, only it ain't lined up in proper thoughts yet, so instead of trying I say, "You met a few gods then? Before you came, I mean?" Maybe he don't like 'em cause he's had a bad run in or something. Only I don't like to say it's just that, cause he always says things better that I ever could, so I reckon he'd be able to make up his mind without even meeting one if he wanted to.

"Thanks Boku." Wrinkle my nose a bit at the thought of salt in my drink. Don't really taste like whiskey neither, but I don't down it this time, just sorta sip at it. "Don't really know what to do," I say after a bit. "S'all very well saying it, but what d'you do once you've said it? I can't go back and eat bloody dinner with him like I never said it, can I?"

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

"You met a few gods then? Before you came, I mean?" I wait until the drinks are poured before answering, "A few kami in Nippon. Once I started traveling I met more in China, but they were always busy on some business or another. They still reflect the hierarchy of the old Empire and quite often are very officious."

Thinking back I sip again, "There was a female I met once in the north of there, a grandmother sort but gruff. She lived in a house with chicken legs and served tea with jam in it. For all her hospitality, there were human bones in her house.
There were more, some that helped, others that harmed. The thing I always came away with was that their priorities are not the same as peoples. Even when they try and help it can harm." I shrug off the melancholy those thoughts always seem to bring along with them, like shadows under clouds.

"I can't go back and eat bloody dinner with him like I never said it, can I?" My arm around him feels his muscles clench tight next to me I ache for the conflict he must be feeling. "I think it is easier to say than do, but you go and eat bloody dinner with him like you very well said it. That you love him, he is your brother and elder and boss. Yet you are who you are and if he wants you in his life he will come to accept it or not, it is his choice." Nudge him then, just a bit with my shoulder, "I think he will make the right choice."

I smile a bit at the face he makes at the sake, "Should we go to the tavern? They should have a better selection than my lone contribution."

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

See, I know all this stuff really happened to him, but it still feels sorta like just hearing a story when you're little. I'm grinning a bit cause of what he said 'bout them being officious, but then it starts to go. "Not to be rude or nothing, but I reckon a house with bloody chicken legs should've been a bit of a clue," I say, cause that's just creepy.

More I listen the more it makes sense. Specially after him on the road. And even Ares, sometimes. "I met another one, " I say, trying to make it sound like I meet gods all the bloody time. Which I sorta do, but that ain't the point, and it's only one, so- "That one that turns into a big dog thing. He weren't t-too helpful."

I listen when he answers and I listen real hard cause a part of me reckons, yeah, he's right, you gotta do that else you won't have no place to go, and it's stupid hiding from your own family, and ain't you already done exactly that enough, Luke? He nudges his shoulder against mine. "I think he will make the right choice." Try and smile a bit. "I dunno. I guess so." Rub my hand through my hair again and shake my head. "But I ain't doing it tonight, I can't do it just like that, and he was all pissy anyway, I ain't going back to that shit, not after everything, I just can't..." Yeah, you go getting yourself all worked up over it Luke, cause that's exactly what you need.

"Should we go to the tavern? They should have a better selection than my lone contribution." Look at him for a long time. Then I nod certain as I can. "Yes." I say, standing up. "We should. Not- not that that ain't good or nothing, just..." Trail off and offer my hand to pull him up, already turning towards the door.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

I wince and laugh at once at Luke's response, "Not to be rude or nothing, but I reckon a house with bloody chicken legs should've been a bit of a clue," "Yes, it was pressing circumstances, but it was a rather glaring clue. Of course, I was quite polite. Manners seemed to mean a lot to her. To quite a few of them actually. Perhaps something to do with rituals..." I realize I am going off on a tangent and bring my attention back to him.

While he starts to get wrought up again over the thought of dealing with his brother tonight, he latches onto the tavern idea and fairly drags me towards the door. Scrambling up a bit, I swiftly set aside the bottle so I may deal with it upon my return and keep a tight hold of his hand as we thread our way down the staircase. I trail my hand along the wall in thanks for Lydia's kindness to my friend.

Walking along the road to the tavern, we soon arrive and I lead us to a corner table. "First drink is on me, but your choice Luke-kun. What do you like to drink?"

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Grin at that, even laughing a bit, cause I never met anyone more polite than him in my whole life. "You're always bloody polite," I say, nudging him back just a bit with my shoulder. "Maybe they gotta follow the rules, else they'd be able to do anything at all, and that'd probably get quite confusing. Like your brain couldn't decide and it'd just drift apart trying to do it all at once." Probably best you don't ever write this stuff down, Luke.

He don't say much of anything when I tell him 'bout the thing on the road, so I don't say nothing else neither, just follow him down onto the street and on to the tavern. It ain't too busy yet, but most of the tables're taken. Strikes me Samuel might've come in to get a drink too, only he ain't, thank god. "First drink is on me, but your choice Luke-kun. What do you like to drink?"

"They got good whiskey here." Samuel always says don't go mixing spirits and beer, it ain't good. "But I ain't too fussy." He goes off to get drinks and I slide back as far as I can in the seat. Recognise some of 'em, course, and one of the farm hands from a farm I go past on the run gives me a nod. Smile back, but I ain't going over, and I feel like everyone's watching me soon as I'm on my own. Like everyone knows, and it's worse than usual cause it'd be my fault if they did, and soon they're all going to anyway, probably.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Maybe they gotta follow the rules, else they'd be able to do anything at all, and that'd probably get quite confusing." I nod at that, "They do follow rules, but they are not always comprehensible to anyone else."

The bar is dim and quite a few people are here, but no one I know very well, other than seeing them on the street. Returning with the drinks and a bottle, Thomas eyed me at that until I showed him the monies, I sit and pour us each a healthy shot.

Lifting my glass, "To honesty when it's hard, friends to ease the pain, and politeness in the face of adversity." I wince but savor the burn of the whiskey against the back of my throat. Keeping my voice low, I ask, "This dog, you say he was one? How exactly did you meet him?" Pour us both a refill. I will need more than one drink to smooth the story of the god of Black and Blue meeting Luke.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

"To honesty when it's hard, friends to ease the pain, and politeness in the face of adversity." Grin at that, cause there ain't no one else who'd say it, 'cept him. I'm half tempted to say I won't be showing bloody adversity nothing 'cept being bloody pissed, cause I've had enough of it. Don't though. Just nod and down my drink. "It's sorta long," I say, wrinkling my nose. Takes me a minute to start, just looking down into my glass and thinking of the first time I come in here with Ares after I found them bodies. Try not to think of that now, though.

"Was coming back from Dry Run in the dark, and they come out at me in the wood, south of town? Two of 'em, fucking massive wolves. Well, I reckoned they were. Wouldn't leave off, kept going for Freya and she bolted, course." He's poured another glass, and I take it and swallow half, cause I still don't like thinking 'bout Freya in pain like that. "Managed to stay on her. Thought I'd lost 'em, but they kept coming, on and on. You know how fast she is, but they got her. They hurt her. So I pulled my gun, even if I hate the bloody thing, and I shot one and he stopped coming, but the other one..."

Shake my head a bit and lean in real close so I can talk quiet under the noise of other folks talking. "He came right up, he had hold of my foot. Thought it was going to pull me off. Damn near pulled Freya over. Shot him too. Right through the back of his head, it was- um. I- There were bits of- of it all on me. But it never stopped coming." Look down and finish what's left in my glass in one go. Want to shiver just thinking of it, even if I ain't felt so panicked since Miss Kaeli came and fixed me and Freya up. "Freya, she was so tired, and so scared. Bleeding all over." Frown and shake my head. "Afterwards Ares said it was a god. And I seen it. It wasn't nothing normal."

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

Look at him steady while he begins his story, small sips of fiery liquid turns into a gulp when he speaks of wolves. Canines giving chase. Once he mentions Freya's injury I lean over and grip his hand hard, he loves that horse. I can almost picture her too, she loves him so she would run until her heart burst.

I lean my head beside his mouth as he speaks closer. Whether to make sure I hear over the ambient noise or to prevent anyone from overhearing, either way his voice is barely above a whisper as it moves the hair next to my ear. As soon as he speaks of his own injury, my hand clenches hard enough on my seat to feel wood start to splinter beneath my fingers. Words whisper urgently from the back of my head, pointing out his lack of limp.

He finishes saying, "Afterwards Ares said it was a god." Oddly there is no rush of ill feeling at the mention of the war god, instead a strange sort of comfort. He would have made sure of Luke's health. Protected him. "Hai, the canine night god, god of murders, black and blue flesh and screams in the night." I shiver at the thought of what he could have done. Finishing my drink, I top up both our drinks.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

When I say about Freya he grabs my hand, and it makes me smile a bit, cause he knows 'bout how great Freya is. Look around, but there ain't no one watching, and it's only hands anyway, and there ain't no point worrying 'bout it no more. "Hai, the canine night god, god of murders, black and blue flesh and screams in the night."

"He's pretty good at his job, then," I mumble. "Freya was in bad shape, so I started walking her back to town. Ares came and found us pretty soon though. 's when Miss Kaeli fixed my foot and healed Freya. He got her, I never knew she could do that. And we were fine. Just tired." Bite my lip and sit back a bit, looking out across the bar and tapping my foot under the table.

"Something else, though. I dunno... if it's important. I never told Ares cause he was pissed enough as it was. We... Me'n Freya, we never got away." Don't look at him when I say it. "Couldn't out run it. I- I stopped. Cause Freya would've died if I'd run her anymore. Sick of running. Sick of being scared, so I stopped and turned to face him. It." Glance up at him to see what he looks like. Probably thinks I'm an idiot. "It was looking at me, I could see it. Then it just sorta vanished."

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

Nod and sip at my drink as he speaks of the healer. She continues to heal and give of herself even when she gets little back.

"We... Me'n Freya, we never got away." Raise my head at that, watch his eyes closely as they look away and meet mine through this tail end of the story. "Those rules, Luke-kun, they may have something to do with this. Or it could be he is waiting for you another time. There is something in my attic, I want you to carry it with you. I will tell you about it once we are there, not in this place." I would prefer to tell him in the light of day, but I do not know if that will be possible.

I pour us more whiskey and feel a grin start to cross my face. "Luke-kun, I am afraid I am not entirely sober."

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Everything's got rules. Mostly they're hidden, and no one knows what they are. Wonder what Ares' rules are. But see, when I think of him, I can't imagine it. 's harder when you got someone in mind, maybe. Wonder what mine are. Waiting for me? Ain't sure I like the sound of that one bit. "Don't reckon he's waiting for me. Don't reckon it's that, just- I mean, why'd he bother? He was just playing, Ares said." Want to ask him what he's got that can stop a big bloody dog that ain't stopped by a bullet through the brain, but he says he'll say later, so I don't. Just nod. "'kay." Then he's grinning at me. "Luke-kun, I am afraid I am not entirely sober."

Just look at him at first, cause that ain't even occurred to me. Too wrapped up in telling him what happened to notice, I reckon, and I start to say I don't need another drink yet cause I ain't even drunk this one, only when I look down the glass is empty.

"Um," I say, biting my lip and wrinkling my nose a bit. "Reckon I ain't neither. Maybe. A bit." Lip feels sorta numb. Shoot him a bit of a grin and down the shot. Hell, I actually don't feel like I'm going to shake right out my skin any moment, so if anything's a good idea, that is. "Reckon I might get pretty bloody drunk, too," I say, grinning a bit more.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

"He was just playing, Ares said." I nod solemnly at that, "And just what kind of games does the god of murder play? I do not trust his games or his forbearance where your safety is concerned. Nor Freya's."

I concentrate and peer at the bottle and the glasses, pouring once more. "Bloody drunk is a bloody brilliant idea." Raise my glass as if it's a toast, but decide to only sip this time.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Gives me a serious sorta look and nods. "And just what kind of games does the god of murder play? I do not trust his games or his forbearance where your safety is concerned. Nor Freya's."

"Well me neither, I can tell you that for bloody nothing. Damn near scared me half to death." Nudge him and give him a bit of a look, only I reckon I'm grinning so that probably don't do nothing for the effect. "Don't need to warn me. Reckon the teethmarks do that." See, this is why it was a good idea, getting drunk, cause that sorta makes me laugh now. "Is that what he's the god of? You'd reckon murderers'd need hands."

"Bloody drunk is a bloody brilliant idea," he says, pouring us another (and I don't reckon I can keep this sorta pace up, never mind Samuel and wolves and the rest of it). Raises his glass, but I'm too busy grinning to drink mine. "You got that off me!" I say, nudging his shoulder with mine and laughing suddenly. "You should definitely swear more often. So should I. Told Samuel to fuck off, when I yelled at him." Still makes me blush a bit, but it's definitely funnier from this side of a few whiskeys.