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estdeus_innobisDay 358, Monday May 24th
Kate's apartment
Evening, before dinner
I've spent four days now bein' sick with anger. It's burnt a hole in my belly, and it makes me flinch every time I touch Kate, 'r even look at her. There shouldn't be any shame in it, not when you dunt have a choice, any more 'f I was forced. And that's what it was. I can guess well 'nough who it was as wished me a husband and a child on the way. But it was no different than bein' held down by someone 'n forced.
It ain't the first this sort 'a thing has happened here. Each time I get angrier, but there's nothin' I can find t'do. I've shoved as much 'v it as I can into that knife I used at the riot, but there's so much there I worry I'll start t'bleed as soon as I pick it up. I'm wonderin' how much longer we can stay here, 'f this keeps up. But we can't leave neither, so far as I can tell. I feel trapped.
And then there's Kate. At least I ain't pregnant. There ain't a baby on the way from some man I never loved 'n never married. Some man I never left Kate for. It stings, bad, that it was me as left her and got married 'n all the rest. I already messed up once, and the world won't let me forget.
Can she? Hell. I bite my lip as I slice up the spring onions fer the pot, and glance over where Kate's fixin' the rest.
[Open to Kate]
Kate's apartment
Evening, before dinner
I've spent four days now bein' sick with anger. It's burnt a hole in my belly, and it makes me flinch every time I touch Kate, 'r even look at her. There shouldn't be any shame in it, not when you dunt have a choice, any more 'f I was forced. And that's what it was. I can guess well 'nough who it was as wished me a husband and a child on the way. But it was no different than bein' held down by someone 'n forced.
It ain't the first this sort 'a thing has happened here. Each time I get angrier, but there's nothin' I can find t'do. I've shoved as much 'v it as I can into that knife I used at the riot, but there's so much there I worry I'll start t'bleed as soon as I pick it up. I'm wonderin' how much longer we can stay here, 'f this keeps up. But we can't leave neither, so far as I can tell. I feel trapped.
And then there's Kate. At least I ain't pregnant. There ain't a baby on the way from some man I never loved 'n never married. Some man I never left Kate for. It stings, bad, that it was me as left her and got married 'n all the rest. I already messed up once, and the world won't let me forget.
Can she? Hell. I bite my lip as I slice up the spring onions fer the pot, and glance over where Kate's fixin' the rest.
[Open to Kate]
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