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estdeus_innobisI have apologized to Kate. Of course, I did it wrong--I always do. But I can't get it out of my head. The dream, which was far too real to me. The apology, which I felt was just...flat. The party, the party with its fear of death and then our departure, fading in the background and then walking her back like I always do. A faint kiss and a soft "goodnight."
The risk, the chance of her apartment is gone. The temptation, the fear of it. I think if we were to even sit beside each other alone at this point she might become terrified. How have I become this person so frightening and so obsessed with the flesh that I cannot relate to someone? To Kate for whom I would release all those things if I could.
I sigh and set down the hammer. The blistering heat feels good with the rain coming down outside, but I still feel a bit lost. My spot was rained out last night. I felt the ground slipping away beneath me. Perhaps it is a sign. Perhaps we should all simply move on.
[OPEN to Kate.]
The risk, the chance of her apartment is gone. The temptation, the fear of it. I think if we were to even sit beside each other alone at this point she might become terrified. How have I become this person so frightening and so obsessed with the flesh that I cannot relate to someone? To Kate for whom I would release all those things if I could.
I sigh and set down the hammer. The blistering heat feels good with the rain coming down outside, but I still feel a bit lost. My spot was rained out last night. I felt the ground slipping away beneath me. Perhaps it is a sign. Perhaps we should all simply move on.
[OPEN to Kate.]
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