EXCOLO

I'm staring at Kaeli, waiting for her reply. If she can't do anything for him, I'm dragging him to the Tavern, consequences be damned. Verdandi'll know if it's Lucien's time or not and then I'd know for sure. I don't want to lose someone I care for, certainly not one that's actually been accepting of me as opposed to just saying so.

"I don't... I don't know."

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to find patience in myself as I don't want to snap at her, especially if she can do something for him. I make another plea to whomever might be listening, promising more on top of being nice to Kaeli in exchange for Lucien's life.

"Try anyway, Kaeli. This is Lucien we're talking about, not me." She may not be my friend but Lucien's on good terms with most everyone and hopefully that will spur her on to do something helpful. "...please."

I shift aside, keeping close to both of them as I watch her lay both hands on Lucien's still chest. She's concentrating and I'm taking that as a good sign but when she shakes her head, it's not encouraging. She''s not done yet though and I sigh half in relief as she leans forward, obviously trying again.

I place my hand on hers atop Lucien's chest, wishing for her success with all my will. Muttering to myself or perhaps to her, I say, "C'mon Kaeli. You can do it." And she does, paling while leaning forward and clutching at Lucien's red-stained shirt. I catch her around the waist, holding her steady as she continues to concentrate and I continue to silently plead.

The excitement and terror of this whole horrific situation must be finally getting to me because I'm feeling awfully sick to my stomach, worse than before, and light-headed as well. Kaeli's still focused on her task though so I try to keep doing my part of holding her up but it's becoming harder and harder to do. He's still not breathing and at this point, I'm having a difficult time with that myself.

I open my mouth to speak but suddenly and without warning, every nerve in my body is on fire. I try to catch my breath but I can't seem to find the strength. This can't be happening and immediately I try again. What the fuck? Maybe Underhill hurt me worse than I originally thought and fuck me, I don't need this on top of everything else. My chest aches terribly though and I pull at my ruined t-shirt.

But I can't distract her. She needs to fix Lucien first and then maybe, I'll ask about myself. The world shifts and if I was on fire before, then now I'm most certainly freezing. Blood roars in my ears and the night's gone white-bright with black edges. I fall back, laying down because it feels like the best thing to do and shit, I hope Kaeli's doing better than I am. Lucien too, and perhaps if I close my eyes, I'll be able to ignore how badly I hurt inside.

I try to take another breath but can't and had I more energy, I'd likely panic. Maybe I'm dying. Is this what it feels like? Glass is definitely going to be pissed, and I'm sorry I didn't get to tell her I love her once more. Our child will never know me either. God, this sucks. I guess I won't be at work tomorrow either. Someone needs to tell Verdi...

I must be hallucinating because I hear Verdi laughing and what the fuck's so funny, bitch... More laughter and it doesn't fit in with anything, not with the blood, not with this night and certainly not with me or Lucien. It's not your time... I hear another voice whisper, "No," before the pain sizzles through me, fast as lightning and twice as bad as anything I've felt yet. When the cold finally returns, I don't mind so much anymore and exhausted beyond words, I close my eyes.