"You should really try to remember how to fix yourself. It's still in there, the ability. Just buried under a great deal of human nonsense."
It would probably be easier to remember if everything didn't hurt so much. Him pushing on my face doesn't help with that.
"There's all sorts of things I could remember how to do, probably." If I look I can see everything that's broken, and how, but I don't know how to put it back together. It hurts to breathe.
...Did I used to be able to be a girl? I wonder if Valmont, or Val, would have had sex with me then. This is probably a strange time to think about that.
I manage to laugh at what he says, even with the pain. "Glad I could - help." I have to breathe out slowly through my nose before I can go on. All the adrenaline is fading away, and I'm starting to shake a little. "I think - I don't remember very well. Just snatches. But I - think you pestered me until I had sex with you." Another breath. "And I fell completely in love with you. But that might have been before the sex."
I wish I could work out how to fix this. I try sort of poking at my ribs, inside my head, and - no. Ow. That's not right.
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Date: 2011-11-06 06:05 pm (UTC)It would probably be easier to remember if everything didn't hurt so much. Him pushing on my face doesn't help with that.
"There's all sorts of things I could remember how to do, probably." If I look I can see everything that's broken, and how, but I don't know how to put it back together. It hurts to breathe.
...Did I used to be able to be a girl? I wonder if Valmont, or Val, would have had sex with me then. This is probably a strange time to think about that.
I manage to laugh at what he says, even with the pain. "Glad I could - help." I have to breathe out slowly through my nose before I can go on. All the adrenaline is fading away, and I'm starting to shake a little. "I think - I don't remember very well. Just snatches. But I - think you pestered me until I had sex with you." Another breath. "And I fell completely in love with you. But that might have been before the sex."
I wish I could work out how to fix this. I try sort of poking at my ribs, inside my head, and - no. Ow. That's not right.