I think that people who can't believe in fairies aren't worth knowing. ~Tori Amos

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

Tuesday, the 23rd of September
The Dormouse, Late morning

The sky is grey and the air is damp; it's going to rain at some point today. Good. It should rain today. The world and the heavens and all the people below it should weep. As much as Lucien would have hated it. Tonight we shall drink, and we shall laugh, and we shall surely weep; and then tomorrow we will all continue to live and laugh and love and cry without him.

It is only right that the sky open up today, for him.

I gave Romana the day off; I wanted to keep busy until tonight and waiting tables is just the right type of normalcy my life needs so badly right now. War gods in the basement, dreams come walking in the spare room, a daughter that can create with a thought and the devil in the details... my life may never be normal again but tea is a soothing constant.

With a sigh, I pin up my hair and smooth out my grey dress. I'll put on colors later tonight, I still have Lucien's turquoise shirt, that will do. I sit down at the window table with my tea and stare out the window at nothing in particular as the few tables of customers I have provide a pleasing drone of noise in the background.

Open to Mab, Fiona and Dana

To weep is to make less the depth of grief.

[verite-belrose.livejournal.com]

Verite's apartment above the Salon
late afternoon, Tuesday September 23rd.


Finally the last customer is gone and i have some time to myself before I gotta go over to the tavern for Lucien's wake. There are things I should probably be doing, like finishing cleanup. Going through my clothes to decide what i'm gonna wear. I have no idea what to wear tonight. But I ain't doin' any a it. 'Stead I head upstairs an grab a pillow from the bed, sit down with it an cry.

Been cryin' every day since I woke up an' found we'd had another special dream thing happen. That my daughter wasn't real. Then I heard that Doc- that Lucien, died.  I think that hurts so much more that I should hear it as town news, passed along as gossip. I would've really liked to hear it from someone else, a friend or maybe someone from the carnival. Still I wasn't the only one to hear second hand.  I had to stay in town on Saturday I couldn't go rushing off to the Carnival, not when there was so much to do in town. But I went the next day. And found that they already knew an' no one came to tell me. Mama heard it from Davey who said he heard it from a couple folks who were there when it happened. During the dreamstuff. That hurt too. But really it wasn't their fault. And it's not like I didn't find out right away with the first person I talked to on Saturday.

Wanda looked real tired when she came to see me to invite me to come to the wake she's holdin' for Lucien. Even If I didn't wanna come to this thing I'd still go. For her. An Lannie. Cuz no matter how bad I feel she's gotta be feelin' a hundred times worse. Doc was family but he was a whole lot more than that to her. wonder if maybe Verdi'd let me play waitress tonight. So Lannie doesn't have to. Though she might wanna. It's always easier to keep things together if you have somethin' to do.Which is why I'm goin' tonight. It'll be something' to do insteadda stayin' here an cryin'. It won't make it hurt any less. Doc's gone an no one can take his place. All i can do is learn to live with it. All any of us can do 'bout it, really.

Finally I run out of tears. At least for now. Time to wash my face an' pick out somethin' to wear for tonight.

[Closed]