There are the families we are born into; and then there are the families that we choose.

[kent-whitman.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile... back in Excolo
The Dormouse

I am not sure how much time has passed... granted; I am not sure how time is passing. A year might have passed outside this house in the past hour, but I am not tempted to venture past these doors to see for myself. It is much safer in here, it must be.

Wanda has been gone for so very long, so it seems. Long enough for me to start pacing the bedroom and staring out the windows; long enough for Rose to become agitated and whiny. She's been alternating between demanding to be held or to be set down because she's beyond comforting. She needs to nap; but she won't. I need to eat; but I can't.

"Right little Miss, let's read some poetry, shall we?" I sigh, sitting us down on the bed with a book of poems from Wanda's collection. Started with a few I could recite from memory. The Raven, Sonnet 29, I carry your heart with me... I am not sure if she understands what I am saying, but I think Rose does like the sound of my voice. After some Neruda, I find a lovely little poem more suited to little girls and quite apropos given where we--- she lives.

There once was a Dormouse who lived in a bed
Of delphiniums (blue) and geraniums (red),
And all the day long he'd a wonderful view
Of geraniums (red) and delphiniums (blue).

A Doctor came hurrying round, and he said:
"Tut-tut, I am sorry to find you in bed.
Just say 'Ninety-nine' while I look at your chest-----

My recitation is cut short by the howl from outside. I all but drop the book and race to the window. The screaming is coming from the direction of the Abbey, and sounds so very far away, but its still raises the hairs on the back of my neck. That is Wanda screaming, I know it is. Down to the marrow in my bones, that bellow of utter rage and despair is hers. "Oh my god, what is happening there? Rose...?"

I turn to look at the little girl whom I left sitting on the bed. Wanda said they could hear each other, I pray she was not lying. "Is your Mama alright?" Rose looks off at a point past my head, outside the window...
and suddenly she wails, tears springing to her little green eyes.

'Ooooooooooh-en!!! 'Ooooooooooo-en! No! 'Tay! Ooooooooo-en!!!! Rose's little body falls backwards, and she begins kicking and wailing. I have no idea what's going on, but right now I am terrified. "Rose, Rose... where's your mama? Is Mama okay?" I all but beg, picking up her shaking body and trying to comfort her from some tragedy I cannot see or feel. She still cries and sniffles, but goes quiet again. Mama... Mama... yes. Mama mad... Mama...tafe...

Tafe? Tafe.... "Mama's safe?" I ask, and she nods, but continues to whimper. "Rose... Rose... call your Mama home. Please, I do not know what is going on, but she needs to be here with you. Please darling. I do not know how much long I shall... shall be here... so she needs to come home now. Tell her that." I ask her, hoping she can understand me. "Rose, please my little sweetling, she needs to be here when I leave----"

NO! Rose screeches, all but drowning out the keening in the distance. No! No! No! 'Ent 'tay! I pass a hand over my eyes, feeling powerless to help Wanda, powerless to comfort a child, utterly powerless. "Rose, I want to, you know this but---"

'Ent 'tay! 'Ent 'tay! 'Ent----- Rose smacks her tiny hands against my chest, and it feels like all the air gets sucked from the room. I gasp for air as my lungs burn and---

'TAY!!!

The room goes blinding white and it feel like I was thrown against the wall. The world goes black

then comes slowly back into focus. There's a ringing in my ears, and there are stars in my eyes. The taste of ozone is thick in the air. I blink several times to realize I am prone on the bed with Rose sprawled out on top of me. "Rose..." I croak, and struggle to sit up. "Rose... what did you do?" She lifts her head and looks at me with exhausted eyes.

'Ent... 'tay... She smiles at me, then lays her head back on my chest and falls promptly asleep.

"Rose... what did you do?"

Closed