estdeus_innobis | Everything that dies some day comes back

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Everything that dies some day comes back

Sunday, 21 September
The Dormouse

Now our luck may have died and out love may
Be cold but with you forever I'll stay
We're goin' out where the sand's turnin' to gold
So put on your stockings cos the night's getting' cold
And maybe everything dies
That's a fact but maybe everything that dies
Some day comes back

Something curious happened. Not the disruption to the world from the breach into Dream; that, while unusual, is hardly an unknown event, and the resulting chaos was mundane. No, I mean something more interesting, and pertaining to my daughter. Wanda's hapless dream of Kent - her abiding devotion to a phantom would be touching if I did not find it pitiable - meant a little aspect of myself turned from conjured flesh into real man, like Eve born from Adam's bone. But my daughter unstitched him from the fabric of dream... And gave him a soul. Not much of one, true, but he is no longer a mere flesh doll that walks and talks. There is some spark inside him that means he is nothing of me any more. How very curious.

It is easy enough for me to shrug on a new version of him, of course. The idea of Wanda having to deal with the two of us at once is vaguely amusing to me. And I want to see my daughter. So I cross through the town and knock gently on her door.

[Open to Wanda's household]

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There's an annoying racket at the door I'm sure the girls can hear it but why be bothered. This damn town knows business hours.

Happy to remind them, I get up from my basement bed and stroll up the stairs naked as I was when Wanda brought me back. Its not an old biddy I see through the door sheers. My grin widens.

Opening the door just a crack I say, "Not open yet." Something in him reminds me if someone. Someone who is in need of an evisceration."Can I help you?" I ask with a disinterested yawn.

I hear the knock at the door, then it comes again. I pop my head out from the spare bedroom to hear screeching and splashing from the bathroom. Ah, bath time.

I throw on a old t shirt and head downstairs to get the door, just in time to see the ass that's living in the basement stroll over to the back door stark naked and open the door.

The headache that seems to come on as I was coming down the stairs seems to have tripled. I pinch the bridge of my nose, take a deep breath and join Tony at the door.

"Can I help you?"

I can finally see who's at the door, and all I can do is stare. I believed Wanda when she said... but yet I did not want to. And now...

What does one say to one's maker?

"This is quite awkward."

I look at the naked god.

"Didn't you die? Does anyone stay dead in this town?" I say drily. I turn from him, since he does not interest me, and smile at Kent.

"This is quite awkward."

"Only for you," I say. "Is my ex-wife home?"

I cannot help but quirk my lips up at the exchange between Tony and the mirror image at the door. "Only on really special occasions." I remark back just as dryly, leaning against the kitchen island.

"Is my ex-wife home?"

"Of course she is." Look to the--- to Him, and to the naked man at the doorway. On a normal day, I would try to get Tony away from the guests, but today... no. "I will go see if she free to speak to you."

With a smile, I head back upstairs and leave the two of them to entertain themselves.

I stop at the bottom of the stairs abruptly. Of course, he would be wearing that face today, wouldn't he?

"Hello, dear." I say lightly and I am about to offer him some tea, when I hear Ares snort. I turn my head---

"Oh, for pity's sake, Tony." I sigh, and throw a table cloth at him. I could care less, but Rose will be down any moment. A little decency if you please." Shake my head and turn back to my ex-husband.

"Nice of you to stop by. Is it a special occasion, or just the quarterly check in?" I ask him lightly, starting to set out tea cups. The proprieties must be observed, after all.

"Hello, Wanda," I say pleasantly. "You are looking a little tired; are you unwell?" I sit down at the table. "I thought I would have a conversation with my daughter. And I confess I was interested to see what your new Kent is like."

I would have never thought to use a checkered table-cloth as a toga, but Ares manages. At least he's keeping his tongue for the moment. Small miracles; they happen.

"You are looking a little tired; are you unwell?"

"I am quite well. Just been a long week; what with the strangeness, battling Gods of Nightmares, slaying dragons, putting the town back to rights and making funeral arrangement." I say as if I was reciting my list of chores for the week as I set out cookies and sugar for tea. "And how have you been. It's been a while since we've seen you." Three and a half months to be exact, but who's counting?

"I thought I would have a conversation with my daughter. And I confess I was interested to see what your new Kent is like."

I sit down and give him a small smile. "Kent will be down with her in a moment, you interrupted bath time. As to Kent..."

I take a minute to sip my tea, for I do not know how to answer that. "Kent Whitman is... exactly what you wanted me to believe you were, but nothing like you at all. Not that anyone ever could be." I concede with a nod of my head. "And he's not mine." I add on a more serious tone. "He's not a piece of furniture to be owned. He was the option to leave whenever he wants."

Granted, he doesn't seem too minded to leave, and Rose does really want him here...

Edited 2013-06-26 02:51 (UTC)

"I am quite well. Just been a long week; what with the strangeness, battling Gods of Nightmares, slaying dragons, putting the town back to rights and making funeral arrangement."

"Ah, yes. Dr Constantine is dead. That must be painful." I examine the cookies she has put out. "Did he die well?"

"And how have you been. It's been a while since we've seen you."

"I keep busy," I say, with a wintry sort of smile.

"He's not a piece of furniture to be owned. He was the option to leave whenever he wants."

"Really." I sip my tea and smile. "I wonder if Rose would agree. She brought him into being, after all." I doubt she would let go of this father substitute so easily.

"Yes, his passing is quite painful. Your daughter misses her Uncle immensely." Funny, for as often as I spoke with my former husband about Lucien, the idea of doing so now irks me. "But from what I was told and heard, he died very well." I finish quietly, but very proud of my lost friend.

I ignore his chilly smile and vague comment, watching Tony find my whiskey and drink straight from the bottle, but His comment about Rose, and the possibility of her not letting Kent leave bothers me. "As I said, we've been a bit busy here to seriously discuss future plans. But it seems that he has great affection for Rosé, and even if he decides not to remain in this house, I am positive he will include her in his life."

I do hope I know whereof I speak. I hear footsteps from above, heading towards the stairs. "I suppose they could enlighten you to their own thoughts better than my mere speculations, though."

Edited 2013-06-27 00:13 (UTC)

Rose is usually a very animated baby, it is unsettling to see her so quiet and thoughtful. It is only the work of a few minutes to get her dried off and into a crocheted sea blue dress. "There little miss, you look lovely." I inform her as I put the matching booties on her feet. I get a small smile in return. "Ready to go see your fath--- to go downstairs?" She nods and I lift her up. Her arms encircle my neck as we descend the stairs, and I catch the end of the conversation; Wanda's voice light, yet strained.

"What are we to be thinking about?" I ask as we enter the kitchen. I expect Rose to reach for her mother, or her father since it has been some time since she's seen him... but she merely holds on to my shirt and looks at from him to me with a critical eye. "Rose, be polite and say hello to your guest."

Edited 2013-06-27 13:09 (UTC)

"But it seems that he has great affection for Rosé, and even if he decides not to remain in this house, I am positive he will include her in his life."

"My dear, I am not at all interested in what Kent wants, but rather what Rose does," I say, smiling.

Kent comes down. He is all nervous conversation, but my silent daughter is far more animated and interesting to me. She looks at him, and at me.

"It's strange, isn't it, Rose," I say conversationally, "to see us both in the same body. You were very clever, keeping this body," I say, nodding at Kent, "from fading back into dream. But I can take such things on and off as costumes," and as I do I stretch and shrink and change into the pale-faced, wicked-smiled girl Wanda has known intimately. Rose laughs at the transformation, and reaches for me. I take her into my arms.

"Look at you," I coo, "you've grown so much. Your daddy is very proud of you. I don't mean him," I say, glancing at Kent, and I kiss the top of her head and smile.

I think to myself; If you were so interested in your daughter, you would have shown your face in the past three months as I sip my tea. Not really worth mentioning though, we're better off without him.

I manage not to roll my eyes as he morphs into Tammy as it delights Rose. Parlour tricks will always amuse a child. I do catch Ares' face though, and he does just that.

"Look at you, you've grown so much. Your daddy is very proud of you. I don't mean him,"

It is all I have in me not to say something snide aloud, or snap at the petite woman holding my daughter. "Of course your father would be proud, it was a remarkable thing you were able to do," I manage to say with a smile as I touch my mind to hers' and bring up the memory from the park; when she realized her true father would never love her. I don't push it into her mind, just leave it in the forefront of mine where I know she will see it if she looks. "You must have really cared for Kent to want him here with us so badly." I add with an affectionate smile just for Rose, and a silent; Mummy loves you so much!

Oh, Wanda. So transparent. Rose looks at Wanda, and I can feel her confusion and sadness. She looks at me, and:

لماذا لا تحبني

The words are hot and white in my mind. It takes some great power to force thoughts on me like that, and I look at Rose with surprise.

"I don't love anyone," I say in reply, gently. "That doesn't mean I don't think you are special, Rose. You are. You're the most special girl in the world." I smile over her head at Wanda. She is my daughter too, and it shows in all sorts of ways.

I am tired, I am heart sick, and I am done.

With a tight smile I rise and gently extract Rose from her sire. "Can you just give me and your father a moment to talk, sweetling?" Pass her to Kent who does not need to ask, merely takes her outside in the backyard. I do have to glare at Ares and jerk my head towards the door. "Holler if you want me to run the flaming dick through." He tosses over his shoulder as he saunters out.

"I hate it when you show up only to praise her for something extraordinary she did." Lean against the counter and cross my arms. "She asked about you for three months, wondering where you were, and why you weren't as interested in her as other people where. Her. Own. Father. And now, now that she was just adjusting to your disinterest..."

I think I am so mad I can't see straight. It is pointless to argue, but I am still Rose's mother even if this is her father, and I will have my say. "If you want to be part of her upbringing, then be a part of her life." I hate that I am saying this, but I never thought to forbid him from seeing her, and worse... he could just take her. "If not, then stay away. It crushes her when you pop up just to disappear for months."

I look at Wanda, smiling a little. Rose's emotional well-being is hardly of interest to me. Her development, however, is.

"I appreciate you are speaking as her mother, Wanda," I say gently, in Tanwen's sweet girlish voice. "She loves you very much, and you love her very much. She'll adjust to knowing that her father isn't like other fathers. She has Kent now to play the daddy role you always wanted me to fulfil. But as she grows, she will seem more and more like my child. I would suggest you don't try to keep us apart." I lean in and kiss Wanda's cheek. "When you go upstairs, you'll find Rose's dresser is full of pretty things for a little girl. She won't stay a baby for long."

I head towards the door, and look back at her.

"Thanks for the tea," I say, and am gone.

Placations. Mere placations and a veiled threat. I feel my teeth grate together as she kisses me. I want to snap at her, and a part of me wants to wrap my hands around that pale throat and snap her neck; but I do neither of those things. I keep my tongue and temper in check. No good will come of my anger today.

"Thanks for the tea," And just like that, she is gone. No goodbye for the child she proclaims she is so proud of.

"She may be your child, but actions speak louder than words." I murmur to the empty space Tammy just occupied. She already knows how I feel for her, and what her sire feels... or more to say; what he doesn't feel. He can be proud and coo over her, but I will be the one there as she grows. I will be the one there.

Take one more moment to get my emotions back under control, then head out to the backyard where Kent is entertaining Rose. She's be disappointed that her Daddy left, I cannot control the things he does to hurt her.

But I can be there to wipe away the tears and remind her that I am still here and I love her, and I always will. Cross to her and Kent, singing softly; for my singing always makes my darling smile.

Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn
Children may not obey, but children will listen
Children will look to you for which way to turn
To learn what to be...

I realize there is someone at the door when I catch Kent out of the corner of my eye tugging on a shirt and heading downstairs. He knows I have no interest in entertaining guests at this time, for I am still in mourning. I have to speak to Verdi and make the final arrangements, the wake will be Tuesday night. Until then, I have no desire to be social.

I hear voices from downstairs, but I pay it no mind as I pull Rose out of the tub and wrap her in a towel.

"Dada..." Rose says softly, looking towards the door. "Hmmm, what's that sweetling?" I ask, for she still calls Kent the 'not dada' now and then. "Where's Kent?"

"No Mama..." Rose says solemnly. "Dada. Dada 'ere."

"What? Here? Now?" I ask, trying not to panic. I knew he would come. Rose's actions regarding Kent guaranteed that. But I am not ready.

Wanda knows even before I enter the room. Rose looks grave and she looks slightly afraid.

"I suppose you know who's here to see you?" She nods and her eyes dart to the door. "It's alright, Tony is downstairs entertaining him." I tell her softly, crossing the floor to touch her arm. She looks at me so intently for a moment, then sighs in relief. "Are you alright?"

I would laugh at the idea of Tony and my ex-husband downstairs chatting over a cup of tea...

but maybe Kent is downstairs and this is... I would not put it past Him. It would be a vicious little mind fuck for Him to make me believe he was Kent, standing here and speaking to me. After all, Dada 'ere. I open myself up and listen to the sounds of the music within the house. Rose, Kent, Ares, and Rose's father, but it is Kent that stands before me now. There is no endless grief within him, nor the howling of wind over a bottomless pit or the scream of a storm. That comes from downstairs.

"I'm fine," I assure Kent, and lean against his arm for a moment. We have not broached the subject of 'us' yet, but I am thankful for the comfort he offers without expecting anything in return.

I take a deep breath and steel my nerves. I've never been truly frightened of Him before, not going to start now. "Kent, will you get Rose dressed and bring her down while I try to make nice?" I ask and turn to leave, but turn back as a thought occurs to me. "Unless you would rather not deal with Him. I would understand."

I let her lean into me and smile as I lay my cheek against the top of her head. Wanda then pulls away, and I see a look of resolve on her face. She said he would come, and I know she's braver than most, but I still hate that she has to deal with him.

"Of course I'll get her dressed." Rose holds out her arms to me, and I take her as Wanda starts to walk away. "What colour would you like to wear to see your... your visitor in?" I am loathe to call him a father. Rose deserves more than that thing downstairs, wearing my face. Or do I wear his?

"Unless you would rather not deal with Him. I would understand."

"Wanda, I would never have you face anything you do not care to alone." My answer is automatic, and she smiles a little at it. "We shall be right down."

Wanda whispers a 'thank you' and leaves Rose and I. "What do you think? Purple or green today?" Rose just sighs and hugs me closer. "Well, I like the blue best, what do you think..."

I must admit I feel a little bit of petty satisfaction when she chooses my favourite colour.

Edited 2013-06-27 03:25 (UTC)

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Everything that dies some day comes back

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