Make hay while the sun shines

[goddessnanshe.livejournal.com]

Mid-afternoon of Tuesday, 29th June
The Abbey

It's a bright warm day, and the church, my church, rings with the sound of a community in song. Every pew is filled, and there are even people standing at the back of the church and spilling onto the porch, leaning into the doorway to hear Ash's words, and singing out familiar hymns of summer and farmwork through the stone of the church and out into the bright air. Some of our farmers - I know them all by name, John Hale, Jasper Thornton, Lucille Cliff, Alex Brown, their dreams familiar to me as neighbours - bring a bale of new hay to the altar in offering, and my throat is tight.

Please, I pray. Please let their prayers be granted. May I still be able to do some good.

It's strange, to be able to feel such joy and such grief at once. I have such pride in my people, and such helpless frustration at what I have become.

The service ends, and everyone goes into the fresh air. Tonight they will dance together at the new hall, kick up tired heels and shake out aching muscles into new, pleasanter aches of dancing and socialising and celebrating after hard labour. For now, our community here has moved tables out from the dining hall into the yard, and the congregation has brought pies and cider to share. Children run giggling between the tables, hay in their hair, and I laugh looking at them, and feel a terrible tender pain in my heart, wanting them to be as safe as this always.

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[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

Most of the shops are closed today, dur to the Abbey's summer celebration. Rose and I lingered in bed late, then made a late lunch, then took a stroll through the park...

until we ended up here. I can't say I am a member of the church, but the service sounded lovely even from outside, and the after serice is certainly lively. Rose gurgled and waved towards all the people, and even if I couldn't understand her thoughts I would know what she wants to do.

I find a table to sit at, and let Rose taste small bits of pie filling off my fingertip, and play with random pieces of hay. I know many of the farmers wives, and they stop to say hello and smile at Rose, who is fascinated by everything around her. I chuckle and kiss her dark curls, oddly content for the moment.

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

It's so nice to finally be able to sit down. I feel like I've been running around all week, what with all the extra baking for the celebration and helping Papa with the haying on top of that. The work has made it blissfully impossible to think, though, and I haven't missed the worrying.

I smile as I help myself to a piece of one of my own pies and go to look for a place to sit down. I spot Wanda with Rose and wave to them both as I come over. "Do you mind if I join you?"

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

Jane makes her way through the mingling people and running children and waves.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." I say warmly, shifting over. She certainly looks hgappier that the last time I saw her.

"How have you been?"

[goddessnanshe.livejournal.com]

"Wanda," I say, coming over. "And this must be Rose." I smile at the baby, who looks at me with surprisingly intense eyes, but otherwise looks like a perfectly ordinary child. "How are you both?" I don't recognise the other woman, I don't think. "I'm Noma," I say to her.

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

Just as Jane is walking over, so does Noma. She smiles down at Rose, who waves a chubby fist which is clenching hay at her. "Yes, this is Rose." I say, smiling broadly, bouncing her on my knee a bit.

"We are doing well, thank you. Enjoying the lovely day. And you? How are you settling in?" I shift over again, so Noma may sit as well as she intriduces herself to Jane.

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

I offer Rose my hand to play with as Wanda Asks how I've been. "Busy," I tell her lightly. "But it didn't rain during the haying, thank heaven for small mercies."

Another woman joins us, and I nod to her. "I'm Jane." She isn't familiar, but I don't come out to the Abbey often.

I turn back to Wanda. "Is...everything all right at the Dormouse?" I know what people have been saying, but I'd rather hear about the remodeling from her.

[goddessnanshe.livejournal.com]

"We are doing well, thank you. Enjoying the lovely day. And you? How are you settling in?"

"I feel very at home here," I say, smiling, and I nod in greeting to the other woman. "I'm pleased to meet you, Jane. And isn't it a lovely day?"

"Is...everything all right at the Dormouse?" Jane asks, as if expecting it not to be, and I look at Wanda, curious.

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

Smile at Noma as Rose stares at her, enthralled. Must be the hair.

"You... you seem like you belong here." I muse, looking her over. "I don't know you very well, but I think the abbey suits you." My but she is comfortable to be around.

Jane introduces herself to Noma, and Rose bats at her fingers absently. There apparently is too much to look at to be bothered with playing.

"Is...everything all right at the Dormouse?" Blink at Jane for a moment. Wonder what's going around the gossip circut currently. "Fine, buisness is brisk..." Tuck a curl behind my ears. "Why, what have you heard?" I ask her in a bemused way, then turn to Noma. "I am known to house the gossip mill, so I'm always interested to hear what's said when I'm not around."

Rose waves her little hay filled hays towards Noma, making little noises at her. "She really likes you." I chuckle, and wipe a bit of strawberry filling from the corner of her mouth.

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

I nod at Wanda's comment. Noma does seem so comfortable at the abbey, though I can't remember having seen her here before. Rose seems fascinated with her, too.

Wanda blinks at me when I ask about the tea shoppe, but she doesn't sound upset when she asks me what I've heard. For a moment I'm not sure how to answer without making things terribly awkward, but then she's telling Noma about being the gossip mill, which is quite true.

"Just that you've been doing some...redecorating." And I grin to show her it doesn't matter one bit to me what she does in her basement. "Now, do you have any juicy tidbits of information I should know about?"

[goddessnanshe.livejournal.com]

"She really likes you."

"I like her too," I say, smiling. "May I hold her?" I take Wanda out of her arms, and Rose settles quite contentedly on my lap. I wonder if any part of her recognises me; certainly she seems very comfortable with me, although I hope she doesn't have enough unusual sense to be able to out me to her mother.

Jane talks about redecorating the Dormouse, and I bounce Rose gently on my knee.

"A home refurbishment project?" I ask mildly.

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

Noma asks to hold Rose, and I willingly pass her over. "No tugging on her hair now." I remind her softly as she settles in on the new lap. Rose seems quite content, burbling happily as she bounces.

"Just that you've been doing some...redecorating." I arch an eyebrow. Oh, I will have to have a word with Jared, won't I? "A home refurbishment project?" Keep my smile just as bright, despite the pang of loss. "Just a small one. Re-doing a space that..." That what, hurts too much to barely stand having in my house? That reminds me of Kent? "...that has no more use anymore." Is what I settle on.

"Now, do you have any juicy tidbits of information I should know about?"

"I haven't had the chance to talk to the person I said I would try to... but it has been noted how often a certain young lady has been seen going into a certain shop." I offer with a smile. I am not sure how much Jane wants that getting around. I wonder if I should tell her how said shoppe owner was seen waltzing a certain tea shoppe owner home very late one night?

[jack-hollow.livejournal.com]

Not a follower of Nanshe, sure, but glad ta come by and see folk coming together. It's a good time of year, an' I feel clearer in myself. Part of it's the work, sure, but...

Everywhere, the smell of hay and sun.

Grinning a bit as I wander through the yard, hands in my pockets. Stop ta let a handful of kids run by shrieking and laughing, and wave as they do. Mood the way it is, guessing even tonight might be pretty quiet, an' right now it's just looking like a damn good day.

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. I think I've touched a sensitive pot with my comment. I'd thought it was just that'd she'd been getting in some, I don't know, chains, or something. Leather things, maybe. But perhaps not. I suppose that's a pity, because she must have enjoyed what she did down there. I think for a minute about poor, dear Derek. But he's gone, at peace wherever he is, and there's peace here too, just now.

And oh, Wanda must be talking about Dorian. I feel my face getting hot. "He's very nice," I say quietly. "And he never eats! Someone has to feed him." It's not just pies anymore, either. We had a lovely roast just the other night. He swore when he burned his fingers on the pan. It was very charming.

I clear my throat and look down, sure that there must be a very silly smile on my face.

[goddessnanshe.livejournal.com]

Oh, they are talking about Wanda's basement. I'm surprised Jane knows about that - Wanda has always been quite discreet, from what I've gathered - but I suppose news does get around. But as Noma I can't be seen to know any such thing, so I just keep bouncing Rose on my knee.

Then Wanda and Jane are talking about romance, and from what they've said there's only one person I can think it must be.

"If it's the gentleman I think it is, he does keep busy," I say mildly, smiling a little.

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

I manage not to giggle when Jane's face flushes when she realizes I am speaking about her. Well, if you are going to ask after gossip... and oh, she has it bad.

"He does eat." I say mildly. "I've seen it firsthand. Can put down a funnel cake, ice cream and cotton candy in the blink of an eye."

"If it's the gentleman I think it is, he does keep busy,"

Now I laugh at Noma's mild assessment of Dorian. "He does indeed. Rose does adore her pretty uncle." And she burbles happily at the mention of Dorian, but she is still focused on Noma for the most part. She even goes so far to look at me with that look of her, then back to Noma, waving a little hand at the woman holding her.

"I think you may have just been drafted into being..." Look at Rose, and she is most insistant that she knows Noma. "...how do you feel about being an adopted aunt?"

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

It's very clear that they both know exactly who I mean. I suppose I am being quite obvious about it all here. Still, I can't help sniffing when Wanda mentions what Dorian eats. "That isn't real food--oh." But if she's seen him eat all that, then she must have gone to the Carnival with him. And if he's going out with someone like Wanda, I just can't imagine what he'd see in someone like me.

I try to hide my crestfallen expression as I watch Noma play with Rose.

[goddessnanshe.livejournal.com]

"...how do you feel about being an adopted aunt?"

I laugh.

"I'm quite happy to be an auntie, Rose," I say to the baby. I don't think I'm imagining she looks pleased.

I notice Jane looks a little sad, and think she'd probably prefer to talk to Wanda without me there. Then I see that the deputy is here by himself.

"Rose, do you want to meet some people?" I say. I look at Wanda. "I won't go out of your sight, I promise."

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

"That isn't real food--oh." Jane's face practically falls, and I wince a little.

Noma happily agrees to play at being an Auntie, and I can hear Rose's approval. Noma looks about, and offers to introduce Rose around.

"I won't go out of your sight, I promise." I wave my hand and smile warmly. "I'm sure she'll be quite fine, no worries." After all, I am sure Rose will let me know if something happens that upsets her. "You be a good girl." I tell my daughter, waggling my finger at her.

Once Noma wanders away, I turn back to Jane. "I have no exclusive claim to Dorian, if that's what you're worried about." I say calmly, taking a sip of my cider.

[goddessnanshe.livejournal.com]

I take Rose to meet a couple of the monks - they don't have much to do with babies, and are both perplexed and delighted by her - and then I carry her over to Jack.

"Deputy," I say, smiling. "It's a nicer day than when we last met. Are you well?"

[samuel-durand.livejournal.com]

Always a great reminder, rituals. So many things wrapped up within them. The first and most primitive of institutions. The power of belief. Intersubjective dynamics. The regulation of spheres. The intersection of rationality with-- I do not think 'irrationality,' not because it is unkind, but because it is inaccurate.

I have seen hundreds of these rituals. A thousand. Everywhere different, and everywhere the same. Attempting to bring the infinitely complex and recursive chains of interaction of the cosmos within the breadth of human hands and hearts. Offering. Sacrifice. Divination.

What I do not expect, as I stand against the back wall writing snatches of the hymns and ceremonies within my book, is to feel warmed by something other than the simple press of bodies. It is... discomfiting. I opted not to wear my habit to the service, feeling that it might be somehow disrespectful, and not entirely certain why I cared. But here I stand, in my traveling clothes, the smell of sweat and breath and freshly cut hay heavy in my nose-- and it is not entirely unpleasant.

When the service ends, I take a seat on the back pew and close my eyes for a long moment, enjoying both the stillness inside, and the stir of voices humming just at the edge of my hearing. In a minute I will make my way outside. For now, for a moment, this place that smells of home makes me remember for the first time in a long time being a child, and hearing voices raised in song.

I-- cannot.

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

Noma excuses herself with Rose, leaving me some privacy with Wanda. It's my turn to wince, when she says Dorian's name. I shake my head. "It's just that I suppose I'd like to-to have him to myself." I look down, wondering if Wanda will take this as a slight against her. "But he's not really that kind of man, is he? To be...had?"

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

"It's just that I suppose I'd like to-to have him to myself." Well, that is a complication, isn't it? Wonder if Dorian knows that.

"But he's not really that kind of man, is he? To be...had?"

Give her a small smile. "I doubt it. Not out of the realm of the possible mind you..." I add, just in case I am completely wrong.

[janeveniver.livejournal.com]

I look at Wanda, thinking that maybe she's not someone for having, either, even though she was married for a while. She doesn't want Dorian all for herself, anyway, so that's all right. "Maybe it will pass. It's just thst he's new and wonderful--maddening, but wonderful--and very...educational." I find my face getting hot again, but in a happy way.

[mistresswanda.livejournal.com]

She studies me for a minute, and I wonder what she's thinking, or what she's trying to figure out.

"Maybe it will pass. It's just thst he's new and wonderful--maddening, but wonderful--and very...educational."

She's blushing again, but I don't think she's embarrassed. Grin and shake my head. "I think that about describes him," I agree easily. "Wonderful and maddening. May want to add 'infuriating' in there as well." I suggest with a chuckle.

Lean back and tilt my head towards the sun a bit. "So, have you lost interest in Jamie then?" I ask, then turn my face to her. "I'm just asking so I know if I should talk to him about you or not."

[jack-hollow.livejournal.com]

"Miss Noma," I say, straightening and dipping my head and... awh, hell, don't have my hat on me. Run my hand back through my hair and offer her a slightly awkward grin. "I am, thanks. It's a good time a'year. Miss Rose," I add to the baby in her arms. 'Member the fairy wings, last time I was at the Dormouse.

"It's good of you t'mind her for a bit," I add, looking over ta where Wanda and Jane are talking. "How've you been since we spoke?" Lord, I sound a bit awkward. "Mean, recall you said you were settlin' in well; like ta think that hasn't changed." Okay, that might be more'n a bit awkward. Guess it's the day; maybe I'm feeling a tiny bit giddy.