All Fall Down

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

I felt her die, the girl. Beginning.

The end of worlds. Part of me knows this. But there's always been another after, and this time there won't be. And I should be glad. But the part of me that's young and saw some of the world with the Carnival and had that day with Brant and loves - too many people - I don't know. But I am tired. So tired, since that day. And this was what Management brought me back for, and what I was meant for from the beginning.

All of the parts of me, thought - the old god, the man who was Tez, and the me that's Micah - know where I belong, though. He always said that I'd betray him. I always thought I'd have a plan. Instead there's just rain, and me wondering whether, if we'd had a child, if would have been that one that'd died to begin this.

I wonder what Management will do. I can feel them in the night, as I can feel the dead goddess in the rain. None of this is very well organised. I wonder where Genny is, and Valmont.

I could make the earth shake again under my feet as I go, if I wanted. I could be the spaces beneath the earth and between the stars. I'm not. I'm just getting wet. But I know where he is. I always know.

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[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

Matters have not been proceeding as smoothly as I intended.

Perhaps that was inevitable. I am trying to pull apart Creation, after all. If the centre does not hold, why would everything not fall into chaos?

Rose was cleverer than I knew. And I will not kill her again, after the vow I made not to harm Wanda. Not because I am not an oath-breaker, but because the magic that ow was bound with would mean breaking it would do my purpose harm. So I leave Wanda, and turn back to more pressing matters.

I feel Management lend their strength to the magic that is being done by the witches, threading the goddess through this town, shielding them from my sight. My old ally is very strong, and I shiver with frustration. The town is so small, and yet I cannot find them, these mortals making the rain glaze with divinity.

So I must distract Management, and I think of how to do it. Their child, the one that smells of Egypt at the dawn of man. Yes. I will slit its throat and see if Nile water runs out, or if it is full of ravens and writing desks.

I take up a knife, Brant-body clothed in hunting gear, and go out. I can feel him out here, too, in the last night.

"Have you come to say goodbye, then?"