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estdeus_innobis2013-11-21 05:03 pm
hermia-sophia.livejournal.com) wrote in estdeus_innobis2013-11-21 05:03 pm
(no subject)
One week later
Our life has become a happy haze of the sort that I had nearly forgotten.
Sleep comes in small snatches between times when Marie needs to eat - and sometimes even smaller, if Luc has a nightmare or simply decides that he does not wish to sleep when it is bedtime. And during the day, all is exhausting joy, with Luc chattering away and asking if Marie can come play now,
Valmont does what he can, and so does Alice, and Nu and Kate and others come to help as well, and yes, it is easier to handle the second time around! But still, there are moments of deep exhaustion for all of us.
Sometimes I cannot sleep at all, though, not even then, for sometimes I feel that I must look at Marie while she sleeps. I must watch every twitch of her tiny perfect fingers and every scrunch of her little mouth, and embed them all in my mind so that I might always remember them.
But other nights, I fall instantly to sleep. Like now.
[Open to Nanshe]
Our life has become a happy haze of the sort that I had nearly forgotten.
Sleep comes in small snatches between times when Marie needs to eat - and sometimes even smaller, if Luc has a nightmare or simply decides that he does not wish to sleep when it is bedtime. And during the day, all is exhausting joy, with Luc chattering away and asking if Marie can come play now,
Valmont does what he can, and so does Alice, and Nu and Kate and others come to help as well, and yes, it is easier to handle the second time around! But still, there are moments of deep exhaustion for all of us.
Sometimes I cannot sleep at all, though, not even then, for sometimes I feel that I must look at Marie while she sleeps. I must watch every twitch of her tiny perfect fingers and every scrunch of her little mouth, and embed them all in my mind so that I might always remember them.
But other nights, I fall instantly to sleep. Like now.
[Open to Nanshe]
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"Do you mean that I must put some of your divinity into…us? Into the people of Excolo? How can I do that, Kyria?"
"Yes," I say. "I can be in all of you - all of you who have had faith in me... or faith in our town," because now it is much the same thing, I think. I am become Excolo, its soil and roots and sun and shade. "I cannot tell you how it can be done," I add, "because... I have forgotten so much of myself, and the past, since I was changed... But if you call me, I will come." I stretch out my hand, and in it forms an old sigil of mine, a pelican. I pin it to Hermia's breast in the form of a brooch (http://cdn.supadupa.me/shop/14943/images/1304974/pelicanbroochfront_grande.jpg?1384960598).
"That will be with you when you wake," I say. "It is not just a sign, but a symbol. Use it as you see fit. You have enough power in you, now, to harness mine to your will."
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The brooch feels solid and warm under my hand - more solid than my hand itself -and I can feel the Power running through it. "I will use it well, Kyria," I whisper. "I swear. I will do what I can on my own, to draw you out. To get others' help so that we can draw you out."
My mind is already racing. Syl. I must speak to Syl - she helped me the last time, and her magic connects more easily to the earth than mine does. Nanse-kam. All of the faithful at the abbey. Everyone who can do even the slightest bit of magic. The task is immense, and when I wake, I am certain that I will feel every bit of fear that I should at the thought of trying to work such ambitious magic.
But for now, Nanshe's closeness comforts me, like the warmth of the sun and the cool of the sea beneath my feet. My voice is almost steady when I ask, "How much time do we have, before the task must be done?"
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"Soon," I say carefully. "How soon I am not sure... But before the turning of the next season." I take both her hands in mine, clasping the brooch between us. "Make sure there are people left to gather the harvest, Hermia," I say urgently, thinking of the town laid waste, its fields of crops ripening then rotting. "Because if Excolo falls, so too will the world."
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There is a lighthouse, far out at sea. The light is red, dull, angry. But Nanshe and I are safe here in the blue water, under the blue sky…
This is the battle. This is the dream that we all had that long-ago summer when I first arrived, about the red city and the blue. We who chose blue - we must work together once more.
I wrap my hands tightly around Nanshe's, feeling their warmth and the solidity of the brooch that she has given me.
"I will not let Excolo fall."
The words stagger me even as I speak them. Who am I to say that I will not let the town fall - that I will not let the world fall?
But what town is like Excolo, with a goddess woven into its stones and streams and buildings? What other town might have a chance of standing against the red darkness? And I did not claim this power for myself - I am simply the person who happens to be here right now. The messenger.
"I will do it," I say again, holding Nanshe's hands in mine.
no subject
I feel the seafoam of my body begin to drift apart, bubbles breaking on the shore. Dawn breaks over the water, and the sea rolls as I
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Her lips and breath touch mine in a soft kiss. It makes me smile despite everything, for to be kissed by a goddess must bring joy even in the midst of grief and sober duty.
"Goodbye, Nanshe," I whisper. I dare to use her name, this once.
This last.
For then she is gone, nothing but seafoam. Salt lingers on my lips from her last kiss, mingling with the salt from the tears that are already slipping down my cheeks.
When my eyes open, the sun is rising, and I have work to do.