I don't sleep, though my body wants to. I said I'd be here. We lie together for a long time, and he's breathing soft and heavy like any sleeping person. I can keep you safe right now.

Some time when it's dark he moves. "Oh. Oh, no."

I think something is broken inside me, something small and far away right now but I think it was an important part, before it broke. "I'm sorry," I say, low and miserable. I mean it for - too much. He'll want me to let go of him soon.