It has. I shudder hard. "There's nothing to..." I've done it with people in the last three years, and I know how it works now, that we need something to make it easier. I suppose he doesn't mind.

I move down to that I can push his legs up and apart, knees towards his shoulders, and get between them. I feel clumsy next to him. "Oh." I look at him for a long moment, then: "Wait. First." And I lie on my belly in the grass and press my mouth to his hole, tongue pushing inside him. I wish that I could just fall into him completely, and my mind presses against his.