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estdeus_innobis2013-07-06 02:36 pm
marbasthefallen.livejournal.com) wrote in estdeus_innobis2013-07-06 02:36 pm
I've spent too many years at war with myself, and the Doctor has told me it's no good for my health
Wednesday, September 24th
Late enough that it is way too early
The backyard of The Dormouse
Lilith chided me to no end; calling me a sentimental fool and overly attached to the talking monkey.
And she was not wrong, not in the slightest. I was... I could not call Lucien Constantine a friend, but I had a great deal of respect for the man. Perhaps, many eons ago, before... we might have even liked one another.
In the form of smoke on the air, I slipped into the Tavern. For the obvious reasons, I could not attend in human form, but I felt the need to be there. To hear the stories, the taste the tears, to smile at the laughs and ridiculous stories. There were many of those. And there were many stories of how he helped, how we saved, how he cared. In the end... Lucien was a good man, respected and loved. It sat well with me, and it was odd that I felt it needed to.
Perhaps I am still too much of what I once was, and could never truly be again.
Dawn is coming, and My Lady waits on me for us to depart this accursed town, but I have one thing left to do. For him. I settle into my human form, and wait under her tree.
Open to Wanda
Late enough that it is way too early
The backyard of The Dormouse
Lilith chided me to no end; calling me a sentimental fool and overly attached to the talking monkey.
And she was not wrong, not in the slightest. I was... I could not call Lucien Constantine a friend, but I had a great deal of respect for the man. Perhaps, many eons ago, before... we might have even liked one another.
In the form of smoke on the air, I slipped into the Tavern. For the obvious reasons, I could not attend in human form, but I felt the need to be there. To hear the stories, the taste the tears, to smile at the laughs and ridiculous stories. There were many of those. And there were many stories of how he helped, how we saved, how he cared. In the end... Lucien was a good man, respected and loved. It sat well with me, and it was odd that I felt it needed to.
Perhaps I am still too much of what I once was, and could never truly be again.
Dawn is coming, and My Lady waits on me for us to depart this accursed town, but I have one thing left to do. For him. I settle into my human form, and wait under her tree.
Open to Wanda
no subject
Oh, oh... I have to reason to believe him. None. Yet I do. And even if I knew that, even if we were able to overcome all the bullshit and be friends...
To hear it is both heaven and hell.
"Anyway... I wanted you to know that. I will trouble you no longer, Wanda. Just... for Lucien's sake... try to be happy. I think he would have wanted that. Have a good life, Wanda."
He turns to leave, and I want to let him go, watch him walk from my life, but now he is all I have left of Lucien. "Wait..." My hand shoots out and I touch his sleeve to stop him. Marbas turns backs to me with a mildly surprised look.
"Did he know, I mean... did he know how much I loved him? How much he meant..."
no subject
It takes a lot to surprise me. Wanda just managed it.
"Did he know, I mean... did he know how much I loved him? How much he meant..."
There is such pain in her eyes, but it is mingled with something else. Need. Hope.
It is not my nature to be kind. If it were anyone else, I would laugh, and walk away to leave them in their misery. But again, I owe him... and perhaps her as well. For the wrongs I visited on her.
"He always knew." Even as her eyes close in pain, her lips tilt up into a smile. There is her closure, and now mine. I lean down and kiss her head. "Goodbye Wanda von SacherMosch." I turn again and head towards the gate. "And good luck with your daughter... you are going to need it." Wink at her, and head towards the street, and out of town, singing under my breath.
There's a moon over bourbon street tonight
I see faces as they pass beneath the pale lamplight
I've no choice but to follow that call
The bright lights the people and the moon and all
I pray everyday to be strong
For I know what I do must be wrong
Oh you'll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While there's a moon over bourbon street...
no subject
Thank you, oh thank you. It hurts so badly, but it's alright. He knew, and he died knowing that and it will never be okay, but it will get better. In time. Knowing what I know now... I can move forward.
The demon kisses me, and I don't have it in me to be scared or disgusted. Merely appreciative of what he is leaving me with tonight. I will hate him again in time, and in time he may come back to torment me. Tonight, we have a shared bond, and I am okay with that.
He turns to leave again, and this time I don't stop him. I let him go, and laugh a little when he offers luck with Rose. "Thank you." I whisper and nod and watch as he goes, singing.
I am not sure, entirely, of what just happened. I think I am better for it. Or, at least... more at peace with the passing of my best friend and first love.
And only in Excolo could a demon be the one to bring it.