estdeus_innobis | (no subject)

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{Early Evening- Tuesday, 29th June ~ Day 394}
{Crossroads DanceHall}

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive
And the world turning inside out, yeah
And floating around in ecstasy, so
Don't stop me now
Don't stop me
'Cuz I'm having a good time, having a good time

It is finally time to open the doors.
The lights are on- thanks to a couple folks from the fair who came out to help me with 'em. And the musics' done warming up now- sounds of instruments tuning and and the player's psyching each other up have given over to songs playing and feet stomping along.
A few brave souls have opened the dancing and there are mostly smiles all around.

So far so good.

A lot of the younger set know me by now from hiring them for the clean-up, and I put up some signs around town, so hopefully we'll have a good turn out.
And now that the greater part of the haying is done, people are in a good mood. People like to dance and come out and see each other when they're happy. Even in a strange town like this that holds true.

Smooth my skirt as I circle the floor towards the drink stand. I'll probably take a few turns of my own tonight, but mostly my job is to meet people who don't know me yet and get them to like me enough to come back. If the night continues like this, I do think it'll turn out fine.

The band starts another song, and I find my smile is genuine.

(The DanceHall is open to all! Come on in and have fun!)

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After Hermia leaves, I wait out the next couple of dances, taking my time with my drink while I keep an eye on Glass and Ri. Do my best to pretend I'm watching the dancing, but it's hard. Hard as hell not to run over to Ri gather her up in my arms, because I can see it's not a pleasant conversation they're having. But Ri can talk to whoever she likes, I guess, and it's not like Glass would go if I told her to, anyway.

The minute she's gone, though, the very instant she leaves Verite sagging in her chair, I stop leaning on the wall and start over to her, not moving anywhere near as fast as I'd like. When I get to her chair, I think a minute before I crouch down beside it. "Um, sweetheart?" If I ask if she's all right, she'll snap at me that of course she's not. Can't say anything bad about Glass, either, or ask what they were talking about. I'm stuck and desperate and tongue-tied, is what I am. Verdi wouldn't be. She'd find something to say, and Ri doesn't snap at her the way she does me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" is what I finally settle on. "Or...is there anything I can do?"

People have really loosened up, and it is quite a feat to get across the room. But I manage it and---

Oh. Well, isn't this uncomfortable?

"Hey 'Ri. I can..." Cast a glance to the ass-hat beside her. "I can wait for you outside, if you'd like."

Glass says she'll tell Doc and then pauses for an awkward moment before adding a sorry and leaving. I'm sitting sorta watching the dancers but not really, instead my mind is spinning. Maybe I shoulda been paying more attention cuz then maybe Jarmyn wouldn't've surprised me by coming right up an' crouch down beside my chair. At least he looks real uncomfortable as he looks up at me, asking if he can talk to me for a minute.

I want to shout at him as he goes on asking if there's anything he can do. But I don't want to make another scene so Instead I just glare at him and keep my mouth shut. Shouldn't it be obvious even to him that I don't want to talk to him anymore tonight? Bet he saw Glass talking to me an' wants to know what she said. Maybe I should just lay into him, let him know what I think about him having Glass tell me that. Idiot probably never thought that she'd actually go an do it.

I greet Doc's arrival with a smile. His timing is perfect, but only to me I bet, seeing how he glances at Jarmyn an' makes the offer to wait for me outside. I'm half tempted to tell him he c'n stay but that wouldn't be fair.

"Hey,Doc! Yeah, I'll try not to take too long."

Not sure what the hell Lucien thinks he's doing, telling Ri he'll wait for her outside. Know they knew each other from the Carnival, but I'm her boyfriend, goddammit. That trumps, right?

But when it comes down to it, Ri hasn't said anything outright to me, not yet. She doesn't look happy to see me, though. Bet Glass gave her an earful. "Look, if you're going to yell at me, please don't do it here." Feel like I need to get that out of the way, first, just in case. "Can I walk you home? I'd like to."

Can tell my the look on her face that I showed up at just the right time. The look on his face tells me the same thing, but with a very different expression.

"Hey,Doc! Yeah, I'll try not to take too long."

I give her a warm smile. "Sure thing, 'Ri. It'll give me a chance to get in that cigarette I'm craving. I'll be right outside."

Turn and start towards the door... and I can't help but overhear the whiny bastard try to talk her out of my escort. Can't help but smirk a little, either.

Look, if you're going to yell at me, please don't do it here. Jarmyn all but begs me and I sigh. He does have a point. I don't really wanna does this in fronta everyone else.

Doc gives me a warm smile and says he has no problem waiting for me, that it'll give him a chance to have a smoke. I'm glad Doc made his offer to walk me home. I miss the old days with the Carnival that sense of us all being family an' lookin' out for each other. Doc bein' here to back me up in this is a little bit like havin' it back. I thank him an' he goes off to have his cig an' wait for me.

I look back up at Jarmyn as he then asks if he can walk me home. An' the way he adds that he'd like to just pulls up all that anger, I only just manage to keep things to a harsh whisper.

"No yellin' ok, you c'n have that! But you ain't walkin' me home cuz I'm fuckin' pissed at you an' sick a ya wantin' ta have things your way."

Edited 2012-03-31 17:04 (UTC)

She doesn't yell, I'll give her that, but I can tell she wants to, the way she spits at me in a whisper, the country coming out in her voice. Hurts like hell, but I nod anyway. I don't think I'll be able to change her mind now. I sigh. "Are you going to tell me what Glass said, or just be mad at me over it?"

He gives me look that's all hurt but he nods and sighs before askin' if i'll tell him what Glass said or just keep bein' mad at him. I might as well, since I'm itchin' to tell him what I think of it an' how come it's Glass tellin' me, an' not him.

Give him a nasty sort a smirk, "I'll tell you. One a the reasons I'm pissed is cuz it was HER that told me rather n' you. That you told her to tell me! Told her that she ought be the one who tells me...bout Verdi. That...she kills and and hurts people...with no reason. Not revenge, not defense."

Glass woulda said if it was defense.

I stop n' swallow before adding, "She said you knew an would be happy to see her tell me this." Now I'm leaning forwards, my hands bunched in the folds of my skirts as it to hold me back in place. "But I ain't happy to hear this. I ain't okay with...with the idea a what she's done. I ain't ok with the idea a her slicin' people up n' leavin' them to die. Or not, leaving it to chance if they get to live." My voice is shaking by the time I'm done. It was so hard not to scream those last words at him but I manage. Mostly by clenching my jaw and tryin' to keep my voice way down.

I expected an earful, and she gives me one. Am more than a little surprised about the exact subject, though. Guess I expected Glass'd be more interested in spreading shit about me instead of Verdi. I let Ri finish talking, by which time she looks ready to strangle something and my knees are killing me. So I ease myself onto the floor by her chair and run a hand through my hair while I try and figure all of this out.

"First off, I didn't tell Glass to tell you anything. Know you're friends with her, but it's no secret she hates every bit of me. Why'd she do something I told her, and why'd I tell her to do anything such thing in the first place?" Can't tell if Ri believes any of what I'm saying, but that'll at least give her something to think about. I need some time to think about why Glass would say such a thing, but I can do that later.

"And as for the rest of it, I did know about it, have done for a little while, but I thought it was Verdi's business to tell you, not mine." Can't imagine that'll be taken well, but it's the truth. "She's not--she's a goddess, sweetheart, and she doesn't go around doing that kind of thing anymore." Take a deep breath, knowing everything I'm saying sounds more than a little crazy. "Ask Lucien, if you don't believe me. Pretty sure he knew, too."

He slumps down and ends up sittin' on the floor with his hair all messy, and for just an' instant I want things back like they were before everything turned into an argument. Then he starts talkin' an' I remember why it's like that.

I roll my eyes at what he says about Glass and the pleading look he's giving me. "You idiot! You dared her to do it an' she called your bluff."

I don't think I'm going to bother telling him the rest of what she said about it. Or that I think she might have something against Verdi. I remember the way she was careful about sayin' Verdi's name but there was still something like hate or anger under there. Something that wasn't there even when she was callin' Jarmyn a wretch.

And as for the rest of it, I did know about it, have done for a little while, but I thought it was Verdi's business to tell you, not mine. She's not--she's a goddess, sweetheart, and she doesn't go around doing that kind of thing anymore.

I close my eyes when he says that. He's right. it wasn't his business to tell me Verdi's dark secrets. One of the rules about folks who join the Carnival is that no one asks about your past. You can talk about it if you want or not if you don't. An' I know that we have people who have done bad things before joining us. But I didn't want to find out that Verdi, gorgeous, kind Verdi; is one of those.

The sick feeling is back and so is the urge to make Jarmyn shut up an' go away. At last he finishes with, Ask Lucien, if you don't believe me. Pretty sure he knew, too.

I open my eyes at this an' start to get up out of the chair. As usual the idiot has accidentally put himself in my way. I almost don't bother to tell him to move, if he gets stepped on it'd be his fault, but the fact that what would probably happen is I trip and fall an' we both end up on the floor. "Oh I will! I bet Doc can answer my questions much better than someone blinded by lust for a guy who doesn't want him or jealousy over his wife."

I didn't dare Glass to do anything, but I'm not going to start an argument with Ri over it. She does hear me out, I'll give her that, but not looking like she believes any of it. I close my eyes, feeling something break, and when I open them, it looks like she's about to jump up and head out.

I sort of scrabble back as much as I can without knocking into the other chairs. "Don't know what the hell you mean by that, sweetheart." And I truly don't. Blinded by lust? I'd sooner break Iago's nose than fuck him now. Well, I'd just as soon do both, but if I had to pick, it'd be the nose. And I've never been jealous over Glass.

I pick myself up and push my hair back, half-angry and half so miserable I can't see straight. "Verite, you walk away now, I'm not chasing after you. Not ever again, if it's going to be like this."

He gets outta my way and I get one step before he;s talking again, Verite, you walk away now, I'm not chasing after you. Not ever again, if it's going to be like this.

That stops me dead in my tracks. He's calling it quits over this? First he tells me to ask the Doc and then says don;t walk away from me? I scowl at him, sittin' on the floor looking miserable an' maybe a bit angry too. Things haven't been good between us for awhile. An even if I did have more answers I can't see things getting better if he keeps pulling the same idiot stuff as he has been.

"Jarmyn..." I bite my lip and blink away the tears that are trying to fall out of my eyes, "Maybe we should just let it go."

She stops and looks at me, not quite crying but almost. Well, that makes two of us. And she'll say my name, at least. She's not talking about letting the argument go, though. She means everything, us. And I guess I did too, telling her I wouldn't chase after her.

I wipe my hand across my mouth hard and nod once. "All right. Fine." The music spins around us, but I can barely hear it. "Love you, sweetheart, but go on. Go."

I half-turn away from her, blinking hard, thinking about black ink and hair all colors of the rainbow, everything that's hers that isn't mine now. I'm going to have another drink and then I'm going to bed.

Jarmyn swipes his hand across his mouth and gives one hard nod. All right. Fine.

and just like that it's over. We're over. My eyes fill with tears and I bite my lip hard to stop them. Doesn't work. I try to wipe them away but more keep coming. His last words doesn't sound quite right in my ears as he turns turns away from me, Love you, sweetheart, but go on. Go.

I wipe my eyes clear once more and sorta half whisper," Love ain't always enough."

Time to go find Lucien.

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