I nod at what he says about Hermia: acknowledging. Yes. I understand, Valmont. I think maybe I would have been disappointed in him if it wasn't the case, even though I do feel jealous, too. And I don't think there's anyone who'd die for me, either. Iblis would kill for me, I think, if it suited him. It's a strangely sad thought.

"Would you have Tez in your house, if you were me?"

"No. You should," I say, and for a moment I smile, "ask Lucien about that. Doctor Constantine. I think I owe him some furniture." Strange, the things I remember, the things I forget. And then he suddenly moves and I jump back, instinctive flinch.

"But if you leave you'll go to - it, won't you? Micah. I don't want that for you. I don't. Please. You deserve better than that."

I look at him in complete surprise. "No," I say, because I don't, I never have. "And where else can I go?" I shrug a bit. "The Carnival, they think I'm dead." And I don't think I was welcome there, before I died. "I'd like to see Genny again," I say, after a moment. "I saw her when we wished - " But that makes me think about Val, and I don't want to. Not now.

"I do understand," I tell him. "About not being in your house." I want him to know that. I don't think I'm doing very well at keeping my thoughts clear, at talking in a straight line, but I need to tell him these things.