He gives every indication of meaning it. And of course he's right, in many ways. I'm grateful for what I know. Grateful for the languages I speak, the skills I've acquired. But I came to see far too early that it was not charity, no matter how they meant it, nor a gift without cost. Knowledge was intended to remake me, to unmake me, to winnow my innate possibilities and set me on a particular path.
Oh how they worried, when I was young.
" "I met one newcomer to town who didn't actually believe that any of my books were not Bibles, and expected a lady of her acquaintance to be whipped for reading. It was frankly shocking."
"I can imagine," I say with distaste. "I trust she didn't linger long in town?" I would gladly have whipped them both. Not for reading, or for not reading. For surrendering the movements of their soul to the movements of another. No better than beasts. Saddled and mounted by words. Dried bones and phantoms.
My head hurts. I must be unused to tea.
"The young man in question was... left in a very upsetting state. But I am sure that you have experience with asking people about delicate matters."
"That's probably fair." I rub my temple for a moment, then force my hand to stillness. "I've seen far too much to be easily shocked, but some still secretly like to try," I say wryly. "Others are more tight-lipped, but they tend to open up when they realize that my interest is in the big picture, not in judging them for whatever tawdriness they engage in. Trifles."
no subject
He gives every indication of meaning it. And of course he's right, in many ways. I'm grateful for what I know. Grateful for the languages I speak, the skills I've acquired. But I came to see far too early that it was not charity, no matter how they meant it, nor a gift without cost. Knowledge was intended to remake me, to unmake me, to winnow my innate possibilities and set me on a particular path.
Oh how they worried, when I was young.
" "I met one newcomer to town who didn't actually believe that any of my books were not Bibles, and expected a lady of her acquaintance to be whipped for reading. It was frankly shocking."
"I can imagine," I say with distaste. "I trust she didn't linger long in town?" I would gladly have whipped them both. Not for reading, or for not reading. For surrendering the movements of their soul to the movements of another. No better than beasts. Saddled and mounted by words. Dried bones and phantoms.
My head hurts. I must be unused to tea.
"The young man in question was... left in a very upsetting state. But I am sure that you have experience with asking people about delicate matters."
"That's probably fair." I rub my temple for a moment, then force my hand to stillness. "I've seen far too much to be easily shocked, but some still secretly like to try," I say wryly. "Others are more tight-lipped, but they tend to open up when they realize that my interest is in the big picture, not in judging them for whatever tawdriness they engage in. Trifles."