Yeah you wanna do right but not right now

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

[From here.]

I hear his ribs crack as he hits the wall, and I think he may have dislocated his shoulder. He crouches on the floor, and his nose has started bleeding again.

"You're welcome."

Insolent. You were always insolent, Tepeyollotl. I cross the room, faster than a boy could move, and I lift him up with one hand and pin him against the stone wall.

"What is wrong with you?" I say, exasperated. I am holding him above my head, and blood from his nose drips onto Brant's white shirt. And then I start laughing, because this is ludicrous, and I drop him onto the floor. "Of course you always have had a death wish."

[Open to Tez]
[closed]

Comments

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

"No."

I can see how smug he is. How he watches me, eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. The movement of his hand. The bones of my wrists feel like they're grinding together.

"Please," I say. He won't. I feel a low tight satisfaction of my own when he comes. It's still because of me.

I look at him sitting in his chair when he's done. I moisten my own lips. "Thank you," I say, my voice low. I rub my wrists. My penis is still hanging outside of my trousers, and I tuck it away.

I look at him thoughtfully for a moment longer, then come and kneel down by his chair. I don't think it's a gesture of fealty, this time.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

He kneels down next to me, and it tugs something inside me. I put my clean hand on his hair, stroke it for a little while.

"You should go now," I say. It is strangely difficult to send him away, although I know he will try to see me again soon.

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

I'm content to kneel there and let him pet my hair. I could stay like this for a long time. I haven't felt this content since - I don't know. Since I went to sleep lying with Val, I think, with his arm around me. The thought makes me sad. Everything was simpler, then.

"You should go now."

I look up at him. I don't want to go. I don't try to hide that from him. But I'm so very tired, as well, after this. "Must I?" The corner of my mouth's turned up: half a smile.

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

He gives me a little smile, and I tug his hair lightly.

"Yes," I say. I stand up and walk back to the window, light another cigarette and draw on it. I glance back at him. "I am pleased that you found me again."

[tezcatl-ipoca.livejournal.com]

I stand up when he walks away. My legs are shaky under me. "I am pleased that you found me again."

I go across to him and gently take the cigarette from between his fingers, puff on it. It helps the wobbly feeling. "I am, too. Even though you complicate everything."

I lean in and kiss his cheek, pass the cigarette back. "I think I may sleep for a week."

[al-shairan.livejournal.com]

I have to snort a little at his cheek. No one else would dare treat me so casually.

"Here," I say, taking another cigarette out of the case, and I tuck it behind his ear. "For later."

I turn back to the window, and do not look round as he leaves. He looks very small as he walks out of the tower, and I put the cigarette back in my mouth, taste him on it, and then let it drop from the window, a tiny glint of light falling towards the earth.