She doesn’t say anything back when I finish talking, but her face doesn’t soften any. Didn’t help, then, I guess. Maybe made things worse, because when I reach for the dishes she snaps at me to leave them. I think for a minute about arguing with her, but I just don’t think I can stand to any more. My heart hurts, and I need to get out, go for a walk, have some more coffee, anything. She won’t even look at me still.

But she said I could come back, and I’m holding on to that. Find my hand’s in my hair again. I feel like begging, like offering her the world if she’ll only tell me what the hell is wrong, what I can do to make it right, but I’m thinking she doesn’t want to hear anything else from me. So I just take my hand down and nod once to her. Feels wrong to go out without kissing her goodbye, but she wouldn’t let me do anything of the kind, so I just go out and down the stairs. The sun’s too bright outside, but I don’t feel like being inside, so I duck my head and just head down the street. Might go out of town and see Arkady. Might just keep walking.