estdeus_innobis | Hunger knows no friend but its feeder.

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Hunger knows no friend but its feeder.

Day 245, Sunday, January 31st
Afternoon
Off to the woods

Caution isn't serving me well, it seems.

Oh it's bad for me it's bad for me
the knowledge that you're going mad for me
I feel certain my friends would be glad for me
but it's bad for me

I've grown hungrier since the incident at the river. I have some long white hairs tied around a bone in my box - no sense in keeping mementos of food, but those who get away... Well, a man needs something when he's kept up at night.

But imaginings are never as good as the real thing, and with the chills from swimming across the river the past few days have been miserable. I've kept warm and ate heavily, even dipping into my stores, and now I need to eat. And she did get my letter.

I felt 'til you whispered to me
completely left on the shelf
but since you started to woo me
I'm just crazy about myself

I've hardly thought about her since the river. A chance to get a beautiful gift and a decent meal, from someone who wouldn't be missed... the thought of her body bloated with drowning outrages me with its waste. Hopefully she hasn't been found yet - it would be tricky if Lannie tells someone where she's gone, though of course with things the way they are I can only say she didn't meet me - she never showed up, and I thought she'd simply changed her mind.

The idea occurred to me to report her missing, but why draw attention to myself? Better to stay quite and be surprised and worried.

And full, of course. She seemed interested in me, and though it's been some weeks I explained how winter creates its own duties. I hope she does come. She had a feral sort of look which was delightful in its way, and she was free and open and trusting. A bit of a fight to put an edge on things and then a week of good eating. And nowhere near the river.

It's so sweet for me it's swell for me
to feel that you're going through hell for me
yet no matter however appealing
I still have a feeling it's bad for me

[Open to Lannie, others]

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When I got the letter, I was sort of surprised. It didn't sound like a date or anything, just something fun to do. Just like with that new guy, Mike, I didn't tell anyone about it so hopefully Verdi doesn't find out. I'm out for some fresh air as far as they know. I don't want her threatening anyone else, and Benedict seemed nice.

The letter mentioned some game trails near the carnival, which I haven't checked out yet. It sounded like fun. The trails were easy enough to find and farther away from people than I would have thought. And its thick with trees and game. I'll have to remember that, I've only been hunting farther outside of town.

Catching hiss scent, I smile and call out, "Benedict, are you here?" I know he is but that would seem strange. There's some fallen twigs and brush on the trail, I grin my food onto them, making a loud snapping sound so he knows where I am. "Its me, Lannie."

I'm not waiting long when my keen senses detect her approach in the the crack of undergrowth. "Benedict, are you here? Its me, Lannie."

It wouldn't do to reveal my ability, so I call back "Yes," and make my way to her. "Over here." There's a narrow, winding trail through the trees and it takes a moment before I see her form through the trunks.

"I'm glad you came," I tell her as we meet. "I wasn't sure you would."

The sound of more twigs snapping and branches rubbing against cloth and then I see him appear on a small path. Smiling, I walk up to him.

"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would."

"Well its no man eating chicken," I laugh, "but I like going on walks and I've barely gotten a chance to explore." He seems hungry and I feel kinda bad. I'd heard that the Carnival's business had been slowing down. I could have brought him some food at least. Maybe we can do that later.

I grin, and look around. "So what've you been up to?" He mentioned being busy in the note, hopefully they got more work and he just didn't eat breakfast today.

She smiles as I come closer.

"Well its no man eating chicken," she says, "but I like going on walks and I've barely gotten a chance to explore."

I pause as she gives me a searching look, but it must be nothing and I smile back. "I've had some time on my days off, and I like the quiet," I explain. "On the lot you're always surrounded - there's not much privacy."

We start off, walking aimlessly down a wider trail. "So what've you been up to?"

I tuck my hands into my coat pockets, taking pleasure in the weight of the knife at my back. "I took sick a few days ago, but otherwise I've been trying to keep things going. The acts aren't doing much, but winter's taking a toll. Us rousties have been sewing up canvas, oiling machinery, putting up sturdier shelters, that sort of thing." I snort, and then grin at her. "Much longer and there'll be a new town on this side of the river."

"On the lot you're always surrounded - there's not much privacy."

"Yeah, I know how that is," I sigh. "But hey, that's why walks are nice, right?" I smile. Its nice not to wonder if Verdi is around the corner and what she's up to next. He mentions being sick a few days ago, and that's probably why he hasn't eaten much.

"Much longer and there'll be a new town on this side of the river."

"No complaint from me," I grin back. The carnie people are nice, not sure why so many people are in such a twist about them. "You're doing okay though, right?" I touch his arm, just a little concerned. Other than that one thing, he seems fine to me. Something skitters off into the bushes as we walk, and my head snaps in the direction the sound came from. Its not her, I'd have smelled her by now, I think. Sighing, I breathe in the air. Rabbit, just a rabbit, and Benedicts' skin and clothes. Something about them, not bad really... was he wearing the same thing that night at the tavern? Keep it up Lannie, him and Mike can trade stories about the weirdo at the tavern. Shaking my head I laugh. "You mentioned hunting, is this where you hunt?" I don't remember what else he said he likes to do. It was fun dancing with him though.

It might be a good thing to know, so I don't come out here to run and end up with a bullet or an arrow in my back. Those fucking hurt.

"No complaint from me," she replies, returning my grin. "You're doing okay though, right?"

She reaches over and lays a hand on my arm. "Being stuck here, or being sick?" I ask. "It's not so bad being stuck here sometimes," I tell her, letting my eyes drop to where her hand touches my sleeve.

Something darts across the path and her eyes snap to follow it. I smile. "It's just a rabbit," I tell her. Strange to think that she's nervous out here, but she must be used to the town. She laughs it off.

"You mentioned hunting, is this where you hunt?"

I nod. "It brings in a bit of meat," I tell her. "We share out food, but it's nice to get a bit extra. And it's a good excuse to go off by myself." She sounds interested, so I ask "Do you hunt, yourself?"

"Do you hunt, yourself?" He says, and I'm wondering if maybe this is a date by what he said about being stuck in town isn't so bad sometimes.

"Not for food," I say without thinking about it. I laugh again. He's starving and I say that. Real smooth, Lannie, real smooth. I'll see if he wants to go to the Miskatonic later, hopefully that'll make up for it. "More for sport, I meant." I shrug. I don't always kill what I catch anymore. I don't really need to. Except for the past couple of weeks when I catch something and even as a wolf I can hear her laugh and see her face.

"Its a good way to get exercise and burn off steam too," I add with a small smile. Lets not talk about how much I hate my boss. "Maybe we could do that sometime? I bet you're a good cook," I smile. I can smell the woodsmoke and cooked meat on his coat. Hopefully he likes to cook, cos I'm not that good at it.

I smile, inside, when she looks sorry for saying she doesn't hunt for food. As she should, really. What other reason is there? The thrill of it is fun, but it hardly compare with a full belly. "More for sport, I meant," she says with a shrug.

"Its a good way to get exercise and burn off steam too," she adds with a smile. "Maybe we could do that sometime? I bet you're a good cook," she says.

I raise an eyebrow. "I wouldn't mind exercising and burning off some steam," I tell her dryly, my stomach grumbling silently. "And yes, I am a good cook," I tell her, grinning. "I'll show you sometime." Soon, ideally.

We're deeper now, but not quite far enough. I wonder how I should do it - take my time? Chase her down? Or just a quick blow then to linger over it later? My mouth waters at the thought.

"I wouldn't mind exercising and burning off some steam,"

I glace up at his tone. I didn't mean... well okay maybe I did, but not when I said it! I meant hunting! Somewhere I can imagine Iago laughing hysterically at the way I've been sticking my foot in my own mouth lately. I scowl off into the distance at the thought.

His voice sounds lighter when he says he can cook. Thank god. And I smile at his offer to show me sometime. "You'll never hear me complain about that either. I'm not very good at cooking," I admit with a grin, "But I can always eat." I can still hear the Carnival off in the distance but there's no other sounds except his breathing and the beat of his heart which speeds up some. My head tilts slightly wondering why. Whatever it is, he seems to like it. I blush slightly, hoping he didn't take the 'exercise and burn off steam' thing the wrong way. What happened with Lucien was weird and not like me at all. Whatever. It's done and everything is cool, and I'd probably do it again.... with him. But not right now. I've gotta warn him about that.

"So where does this trail go?" I look curiously down the winding, shadowed path. If I couldn't smell them, I'd know there were deer out here by the bark that's stripped from the trees. I'll definitely have to come out here again.

Her brow furrows as she catches my meaning, and she glares in annoyance. It's quite sweet, really.

"You'll never hear me complain about that either," she says, changing the topic. "I'm not very good at cooking, but I can always eat."

She cocks her head and falls silent, then asks "So where does this trail go?"

I shrug. "I don't know. Deeper into the woods, probably. I haven't tried mapping it out, but we should be able to retrace our route." I glance down past her as we walk, and I pause. "What's that?"

"I don't know. Deeper into the woods, probably. I haven't tried mapping it out, but we should be able to retrace our route."

I smile and nod. Oh we can retrace it better than you think.

No need for mapping when I can picture it all in my head and know it like I know my own skin. Or used to know my own skin.

"I dunno. Seeing where it goes might be... what's what?" I ask, looking at him, quickly. I didn't hear anything... Following his eyes, I look down.

She smiles, and then glances down, following my gaze with hers. "I dunno. Seeing where it goes might be... what's what?"

I step closer, peering down at the edge of the trail. "That print," I say, vaguely, and as she looks I pull my knife and strike her hard in the small of her back.

This one's not getting away.

"That print," He says, but I don't see anything. I think between my eyesight and his, I'd see ....

...pain exploding from my back as I yip and the ground rushes toward my face.Stunned for a minute, I try to figure out what just hit me. I didn't hear a branch or any other noise except the rustling of Benedicts clothes.

Verdi! I growl at the thought of her sneaking up on me so fast and Benedict is here. She better not go after him. I flip over onto my back, kick my legs out, hoping to knock her over or catch her off guard. "Leave me alone, you psycho bitch!" I snarl, kicking out hard at the shadow looming over me. Blinking, I pause for a minute. It doesn't look like a woman though.

She goes down hard, yelping as she falls and I drive forward to finish it quickly. Too fast, but I'm not letting this get away from me.

"Leave me alone, you psycho bitch!"

The words make me pause just long enough for her to kick up, her heel cracking into my rib through the heavy cloth of my coat. It draws a grunt from me, but I'm hungry and she's hurt and I stab down hard where she's twisting about on the ground.

My foot connects with her body and with a crack, I hear a grunt. It's not Verdi... Easing up on the kicking, my voice croaks out from my throat when I try to tell him I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt....

I draw in a sharp breath and I know the scent of cloth, smoke and meat. I know where I smelled it before. The Sheriff's office. Its him!

Oh god....

Sunlight glints off steel and I twist to the side hearing my coat and shirt rip as the cold sting of metal stings my side. The sting turns to a tingling burn as my body fights to change. He tried to stab me?! I remember the clean white bones and the smell of cooked meat. He wants to.... Bearing my teeth, I growl, thrusting the heel of my hand up into his face. I. AM. SO. SICK. Of people in this fucked up town!

There's a noise as she tries to talk and I stab down again, trying to pin her with the blade but she writhes away, giving me tantalizing glimpses of red meat under torn clothes.

"Come back," I say through my grin and then my head snaps back for the second time in a week as she strikes me. Something warm is running down my face and I roll quickly and stand, licking greedily at my lips. My ears are ringing and everything is blurred but sharp, too, and I smile as I kick her hard in the side as she tries to get up.

"This could go easier," I tell her as I lash out again.

Freed of his weight, I try to roll away and his foot catches my side hard, making the cut tear open more. He's enjoying this?! Like Verdi was. But I didn't do anything to him! Has everyone in this town lost their mind?! "This could go easier,"

I bite back a growl when the toe of his boot catches my side again and I feel like I'm going to throw up. Groaning, I shuffle back and jump to my feet, feeling a hot gush run down my side.

"You're right it could," I pant, clutching at my side. Staying out of his reach, I circle him slowly. Th pain in my side only dulled by the sharp ache of bone muscle and skin that wants to change. It'd be easier if he just ran, but then he would be loose and free to do it again. "Give me your knife," I growl, teeth already lengthening and sharpening as I speak.

Unlike Verdi, he's human -- I think -- And I don't want to hurt him; but he deserves it, just like the rest of them. "I won't hurt you if you give me your knife," I say, continuing to circle him, waiting for him to make a move and fighting back the urge to change and just tear him apart.

She rolls away and pushes herself up. The motion causes her wound to quicken, and my breathing speeds up. It's hard to keep my eyes on her body, to watch how she moves, when she's bleeding like that.

"You're right it could," she says. She doesn't run, which is sad, but her hand is pressed tight against her side and I smile as a ripple of pain crosses her face. "Give me your knife," she demands, her voice low and thick with pain.

"I won't hurt you if you give me your knife," she tells me, and I just smile. "Just lay back," I tell her tauntingly, and I step forward slowly, then quickly, stomping at her leading foot before punching out at her face. She'll hardly see the knife when it comes.

He smile at me like someone would at a child. He doesn't think I can hurt him. I think he's even a little excited. "Just lay back,"

He steps towards me and I think I'm going to be sick.

My muscles tense and then he lunges at me. I know this one, the guys used it on me all the time. My nose cracks and I can taste blood in my mouth as I move towards the hand that just hit me, catching it and twisting his wrist hard behind his back. I want to pull it off and beat him with it. My nails are growing thicker and the points dig into his skin. I'd have to let go to change and no way I'm doing that, so I kick at the back of his knee. Hoping he lands on a rock or his own knife when he falls. "You first," I snarl, twisting his wrist harder than before, nails piercing his skin.

There's a jarring pain in my hand as I feel bone splinter under my fist, and I feel a flash of delight before she reaches up almost casually and catches at my hand.

She yanks me off-balance and before I can follow up with the knife she twists me around with desperate strength and my leg goes numb below the knee. I fall, trying to ignore the growing pain at wrist and knee while her nails press sharply into my skin. "You first," she snaps.

I slash back with the knife, trying to get her to release me while I figure out what to do. She should be weakening with blood loss, but it's frustratingly slow. But my injuries don't matter, if I can feed after.

Grabbing at the knife, the blade bites into my wrist hand as he swings it and I pull my hand back. I've got him now, I don't need the knife. He can't do anything but swing it anyway. I can smell his blood and almost taste it in the air. I could stop this, right hear and now. Just sink my teeth into his neck and tear that artery apart. He'd deserve it and who would care?

My vision wavers and my body shakes with he urge to just kill...kill...kill! The knife catches my thigh and I growl in both pain and rage. I need to end him before I bleed to death. Lunging forward I go for his throat, pausing for just a minute as my teeth scape his neck. Do I really want to do this?

His wrist slips from my hand as a low growl comes from my chest, answering my question. YES.

I can feel the blade bite once, twice, and then there's a low rumble that makes me freeze, but she lets my hand go and I shrug free as something wet and sharp brushes my neck.

My coat's lying in a heap at her feet, but the air's nothing but invigorating and I chuckle low in my throat. She's covered in blood now, cuts in her side and wrist and thigh. Nothing fatal, but she's just delectable.

"I could just eat you up Lannie," I say, still laughing.

This needs to end soon, and I'm too impatient to let her bleed. Something seems wrong around her mouth and hands, but there's better things to dwell on, like all the meat I'm finally going to get to eat.

"I'm just so hungry" I tell her. "Doesn't that make you sorry?"

I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna. His heart's pounding in my ears but no scent of fear. My leg shakes hard and its cold. I'm cold. I go to grip his shoulders and they're not there, but the sound of his heart still is. Then it changes to a rumble that could be a growl.

My head cocks to the side. Is he another one of us that can hide his scent? "I could just eat you up Lannie,"

..The growl is a laugh, he's laughing, like they did outside the cage, like she did in the store room. Laughing, laughing at me. I shake my head to make the laughing stop. Maybe she paid him to do this to see what I'd do. Its not like she'd care if I tore him apart. She'd want me to.

"I'm just so hungry. Doesn't that make you sorry?"

Looking down at him, I open my mouth to say No, but his stomach growls and even without that, I know he's not lying about it, like I know how to pick out the weakest prey. I just do. She probably promised him food for doing this. He's starving and I almost killed him...

"I've gotta go," I say offering him my hand to help him up. Its back to normal now, but I'm cold and tired and dizzy with the thought of what I almost did and that I can still almost taste his blood on my tongue.

I ignore her gaze, the way she looks at me like I'm familiar. Prey always know the predator.

She's fought back and I expect her to spit my words back at me, and I hardly even hear it when she says "I've gotta go," and offers me her hand. I look at it curiously, until what she's said catches up with me.

"I'm sure," I tell her with a smile, and I take her hand. "But I really am hungry. This won't hurt for long," I tell her, and I cut the tendon at her heel. "Not once I'm done, anyways."

He takes my hand saying it won't hurt for long and I think he means me pulling him up. I wince just thinking about it. I just want to go home and go to sleep. I start to pull him up, then with a flash of his hand, a sharp pain bites into my heel and goes up my leg. Crying out in pain, I fall to the ground.

"Not once I'm done, anyways."

I try to drag myself away from him, dirt grinds into my hand and side, jeans rubbing into the cut on my thigh with every inch I manage to move. Its too late to change now, the wounds would still be there and I can't see straight. Tears spring into my eyes when I hear someone on the path. Its either her or one of his pack. I whimper trying to pull myself away.

Then I hear a gun followed by a voice I know. "Freeze, You OK, Miss?" (http://community.livejournal.com/estdeus_innobis/369827.html?thread=9437603#t9437603)

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Hunger knows no friend but its feeder.

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