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[Early afternoon of Friday, January 15 (day 229)]
[Out in the courtyard at the Tavern of Hell]
Find it odd calming, how a fire can scarce be seen in daylight. Sitting out in the courtyard at the Tavern of Hell, guessing at the shape of the flames as they spit under the thin rain and taking in the gray light of the day and the space that's not all mine. The apartment's lovely, nothing I'd ever 'magined, and my own workroom aside that, but the weight of so much... It's enough t'get drunk on. More'n large enough for two, and fine enough for even three, and what I've guessed at from the little I asked of the matter of the third (Dorian) leaves me turning scarlet still. No misery in Iago when he spoke of it, nor flinching as if he took me for being angry, but...
Well. Truly, it shocks me some, and leaves me wondering what else I've come to in this lost time.
And carrying a child. My mother's bones.
Wearing clothes that I think're new as well as new t'me, trousers with far more fiddling seams than needed and a sweater green as pine in shadow, and a coat Kate made me. I remember the name and'm sure I'd recognize her, but the store was closed when we went 'round town yesterday. Sure I'll see her soon, though, and hope she's not lost overmuch.
Hear Iago aside me and look up and "Stormcrow," I say, and'm smiling at the shape of his name in my mouth. Remember that, and what he told me of a night by the river, and our stopping by there yesterday in the clear dusk, and my smile turns into something for the two of us alone. Lean into him and put my arm 'round his waist and kiss his throat, rest my head in the hollow of his shoulder. Smells of cigarette smoke and the cool leather of his jacket and most of all himself in the silk softness of the rainy air, and there's a steadiness t'being with him like nothing else of late.
[Open]
[Closed]
[Out in the courtyard at the Tavern of Hell]
Find it odd calming, how a fire can scarce be seen in daylight. Sitting out in the courtyard at the Tavern of Hell, guessing at the shape of the flames as they spit under the thin rain and taking in the gray light of the day and the space that's not all mine. The apartment's lovely, nothing I'd ever 'magined, and my own workroom aside that, but the weight of so much... It's enough t'get drunk on. More'n large enough for two, and fine enough for even three, and what I've guessed at from the little I asked of the matter of the third (Dorian) leaves me turning scarlet still. No misery in Iago when he spoke of it, nor flinching as if he took me for being angry, but...
Well. Truly, it shocks me some, and leaves me wondering what else I've come to in this lost time.
And carrying a child. My mother's bones.
Wearing clothes that I think're new as well as new t'me, trousers with far more fiddling seams than needed and a sweater green as pine in shadow, and a coat Kate made me. I remember the name and'm sure I'd recognize her, but the store was closed when we went 'round town yesterday. Sure I'll see her soon, though, and hope she's not lost overmuch.
Hear Iago aside me and look up and "Stormcrow," I say, and'm smiling at the shape of his name in my mouth. Remember that, and what he told me of a night by the river, and our stopping by there yesterday in the clear dusk, and my smile turns into something for the two of us alone. Lean into him and put my arm 'round his waist and kiss his throat, rest my head in the hollow of his shoulder. Smells of cigarette smoke and the cool leather of his jacket and most of all himself in the silk softness of the rainy air, and there's a steadiness t'being with him like nothing else of late.
[Closed]
no subject
Date: 2010-05-22 11:05 pm (UTC)I've seen you before, Christmas Eve actually, but if you'd like to warm up, I'd suggest you go inside. They'll understand about the amnesia and perhaps someone will be able to remember you."
"Christmas... I repeat and try to recall that, or even what it means to me, if anything. Christ's Day..." I mutter and slide a glace to the side, and that warm fuzzy feeling I got from looking at her, suddenly feels like it's be extinguished. "I don't think I like Christmas." I say quiet enough to not make it sound like I'm offended. Any help is help now. "Was I here on Christmas Eve?" I ask him, and then consider his suggestion to go inside to warm up more, and that folks in there will understand my malady.
Before he can reply, I look more directly at her, and that glow again. I am eager to ask about it, but again, I think I won't. "Well met then, Iago, Lady Glass." I say and give a smile, and a polite nod and slight bow to them. "Gar... I'm pretty sure is what I go by, or what I'm called anyway. I'm not sure how I recall that bit of fact, it's just... there." I say and lift up a hand to point to a place on the wood nearby as an illustration. "It's just something I know for sure. One of few things at the moment." I say, then smile.
I slowly step a bit closer to them, and lean until I can peer into the windows of the Tavern and try to spy who is inside. Men and woman, too far and at the wrong angles right now to see if I recall them or not.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-22 11:27 pm (UTC)Gods. If they're not hauling themselves up from the peace of the grave in the winter dark, they're after doing it when light overtakes darkness in time aday. Really, none of them've the bloody sense t'stay dead, and it's not as if it's difficult. We manage.
Keeps after looking at me as if there were some cause for it, and consider him cool. "Well met then, Iago, Lady Glass," and I think no-one has ever called me that. Iago calls me milady but that's a different weight to't.
"Glass," I correct, and leave it at that as he introduces himself. Name means little 'nough to me, but nod as he offers it, then steps aside from the wall and turns 'way from us t'look into the Tavern.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 01:33 am (UTC)Even in my loneliest times, Christmas was always a treat for me. It's unfortunate that he doesn't feel the same and I reply, "Yes, Christmas Eve. Verdi called it Jul-af-ten but I don't believe that makes it any easier to remember." My sweet wife comments, "Clear enough you know of that god, though, so you remember some names." She's aloof with him and I grin at the contrast from her earlier behavior.
"Well met then, Iago, Lady Glass." He's quite formal, for a wet bird-man, and perhaps his people bow during greetings? I hope he doesn't expect the same of me as I enjoy the notion of Milady Glass in my lap far better. She's quick to correct her naming and I grin at my sharp, sweet wife. It's no wonder he keeps staring at her. Who could resist?
He's got a name though, "Gar... I'm pretty sure is what I go by, ...It's just something I know for sure. One of few things at the moment." Turning to him, I say, "Recalling your name is a good start, Gar." I watch him peek into the tavern, and continue pleasantly, "But before you go inside, you might consider doing something about those wings of yours. You didn't have them last time and you're likely to startle the patrons."
I chuckle, adding, "And speaking of wings; how'd you hide them anyway? They seem much too bulky for normal clothing to accommodate properly."
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 02:01 am (UTC)And speaking of wings; how'd you hide them anyway? They seem much too bulky for normal clothing to accommodate properly."
I have to stop and think, and admit, I really don't know because as far as I can recall, they've always been out, and back there behind me. I turn to look behind me, and after I make sure I have the room, I spread them out to their full extension and flap them slowly twice before folding them back down. It hardly takes a thought to do it. "I'm not sure... I really can't see my back without a mirror, so I'm at a loss to explain." I say and then turn around so they can see my back. "What do you see? What does it look like back there?" I ask, now curious myself if they have been concealed prior to this encounter.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 02:28 am (UTC)Guessing by how he takes it Gar's not recalling them either, and unfolds them and beats slow at the air with them a moment, like a woman absent unpicking a stitch. There's a buffet of cool air and the smell of wet feathers in the rain. Odd scent; 'm more used t'that of wet wool, I think.
"I'm not sure... I really can't see my back without a mirror, so I'm at a loss to explain." Suppose there's some sense to that, with memory not there to set it out and him wandering awoods 'til now. "What do you see? What does it look like back there?" he says, turning, and I get t'my feet and step closer, hearing Iago rising behind me. Cock my head and study the flesh of his back, picking a rained-together tatter of coat and shirt aside with one hand, and can see wounds healing.
"Tears a day'r so old, down 'neath each wing and patterned out a little t'each side," I say. "That's taking you for healing at a pace like to most folk, mind. And particular clean, 's I'm not seeing infection in the wound." Fair enough it may've not set in yet, but thinking a day're so of hauling an open wound on a hike out in the air's hardly the best care for it, 'd expect some sign.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 03:08 am (UTC)He's not like any creature I've ever seen but he certainly brings to mind a few notions. I'd not name them either as Excolo has a way of fulfilling words spoken in jest. I'd rather he tell us he was the unfortunate subject of some bizarre experiment instead of another deity-come-to-town.
Milady Glass is my brave, inquisitive mistress and she uncovers his back, revealing it to our view. I see only bruises and old wounds but my love has a clearer picture as she explains it to both of us. I add my two cents, gleaned from years of bar fights and brawls. "Glass has the right of it, as usual" and I wink at her before continuing. "The wings look to be a natural part of you but as the wounds seem recent, perhaps you previously hide them inside yourself?"
In an incredulous tone, I ask, "Is that even possible?"
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 03:27 am (UTC)I look over my shoulder to answer her, then Iago adds, Glass has the right of it, as usual. The wings look to be a natural part of you but as the wounds seem recent, perhaps you previously hide them inside yourself?"
I think that over as he asks me if that is even possible. Truth be told, I'm not sure, but it seems the only logical answer if I was not seen with them at Christmas. I then turn more to face Glass. "I've been in the woods for three days, with them out. I don't recall them not being out, so I must have recently unsheathed them, and caused those wounds." I then look to Iago to answer him. "I'm not sure how I do it, but it would appear they are sometimes housed under my skin, alongside my spine." I say, then look at Glass as I ask her a question.
"What do you suppose I am, if I am able to do such things with myself?"
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 03:44 am (UTC)"Either that or growing them, and that'd hardly leave those marks," I agree.
"What do you suppose I am, if I am able to do such things with myself?"
Shrug at that. "Something as walks as a man and has wings hatching out of his back," I say dry. "May be uncommon lucky, may only be you heal clean. Call yourself one of the oddities more common since the world broke and the bones of it came closer t'surface." Not the strangest I've seen, sure (and I remember the woman with pale roses growing all through her), but rather a thing t'catch the eye. "Seen statues of things with wings like yours, but you're nothing t'do with minding the dead, so call it little matter."
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 06:20 am (UTC)"What do you suppose I am, if I am able to do such things with myself?"
My ever-practical wife has a few suggestions and when she calls him an oddity, I can't help recalling her description of the porcupine maiden. She adds, "Seen statues of things with wings like yours, but you're nothing t'do with minding the dead, so call it little matter."
"I believe those statues are angels, love, but as to whether or not our friend here is one, well, I'm not an expert so I couldn't say for certain." I look at Gar's wings again and say to him, "Perhaps not an angel but instead a winged man, or something else entirely. Truly, that would be quite an adventure and without that pesky bit of divinity, you might even be half-sane."
I shrug, willing to entertain a less-complicated notion. "To the best of my knowledge, there aren't any bird-men currently in Excolo but perhaps you arrived with the Carnival and we didn't notice? It's far-fetched, I know, but I'm open to suggestions."
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 03:43 pm (UTC)Then Iago mentions Angels, and something clicks in my mind. I get a vision of others, like me, and yet, different. A face, a smiling man with wings of white looking down at me, then in a blink it vanishes.
"I believe those statues are angels, love, but as to whether or not our friend here is one, well, I'm not an expert so I couldn't say for certain."
"I've seen them!" I suddenly reply to them both. "Angels. I know of them. I.. remember them. I recall one..." I fight to pull back the flash of memory, it's almost so close I can feel it. It stirs that same warmth I feel when I look at Glass. "I know the Angels... I just know that, somehow." I say, then I shake my head and sigh. "I can't pull all of the memory back. But I know, there are others like me, I can sense it." I try to explain, then glance toward the Tavern again.
Iago continues "To the best of my knowledge, there aren't any bird-men currently in Excolo but perhaps you arrived with the Carnival and we didn't notice? It's far-fetched, I know, but I'm open to suggestions."
The Carnival. I've walked through it yesterday, and again today. "I've been through there." I say to them. "It appeared deserted, empty. Could I have escaped from there? Is that where I am from? Where I belong?" I ask, and the coldness of not remembering so much washes over me like a douse of water, and it causes me to shiver. Slowly I look around the patio area again, trying to force my mind to work, trying to force the memories, good or bad to return to me. My gut is the only thing that responds with a painful ache of hunger.
"Do you think it would be OK if I went inside to eat?" I suddenly ask them both. I'm finding myself more and more focused on that alone, and I don't want to wear thin their patience with me, I might need it later. "I don't want to keep bothering you, you've been so kind to me." I add, and give them a smile.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 04:36 pm (UTC)"I've seen them!" Gar says sharp, and imagine that may've been how I looked when I recognized Iago come t'me. "Angels. I know of them," and he's fumbling for memory and I can near t'see it slip his grasp. "I know the Angels... I just know that, somehow," he says, sighing.
"Know angels," I say to Iago, and'm thinking... old memory, winters back, a cigyddion as stayed with mam and me. May be he told stories of them as I can't remember, something of them as minders of the dead, things great and grave and quiet as cairnstones.
Look at Gar and he's none of that, no sounding funeral bell, only a man taller'n most with a pair of wings.
"Minders of the dead," I say, "or things as mind a god." Sniff in dismissal. "Better t'be a showpiece from the Carnival, if you can't be the first," and he's talking of others like him and I consider him thoughtful when he says he can sense it.
Matter of the Carnival and "I've been through there," Gar offers. "It appeared deserted, empty."
"The showplace did," I say, "or the camp proper?" Never had much fondness for travelling with a group, but've done so a time or two for as many weeks. And've seen them aroad, I know that, although what a carnival is doing here midwinter is bloody beyond me. "Mind, frankly, can see travelling folk being a touch cautious and keeping their head down from you. Nothing particular says you're not from town."
"Could I have escaped from there? Is that where I am from? Where I belong?"
"Folk don't generally escape from places they belong," I say, shrugging and looking t'Iago. "If you broke out, though, was long enough ago that you've healed all marks of it."
Gar's attention, in any case, is drifting. "Do you think it would be OK if I went inside to eat?" and I glance t'Iago, as he can speak t'that better'n me. "I don't want to keep bothering you, you've been so kind to me."
"You count common courtesy as kindness," I say dry but not sharp, "'ve frankly no great hope for any others like you. Might be worth warning folk if you do catch sense of them coming closer. 'd hate t'see them care t'be rude." Be interesting if a flock of them showed up, I imagine, though if they do mind a god suspect I'll be bloody tempted t'stay inside abed.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-23 10:57 pm (UTC)"The showplace did, or the camp proper?" She asks me when we talk of the abandoned Carnival grounds and I turn to look back at her. "It was the place where the shows are held. I didn't see the camp." I say to her, then I give a smile when she suggests that I give people a warning if I sense more of my kind coming into the area. I can see where that would startle a lot of people, it's easy for me to see my reaction on just these few folks.
"I think I'll chance going inside, and see if there's food to be found." I say after another pause, and a moment of consideration. I don't particularly fear the people inside the tavern any more as much as sending them into a panic flight. I was lucky with Glass and Iago I suppose, maybe my luck will hold out, and I can discover more about this place, and myself.
"Thank you for talking with me Glass." I say, then I give a nod to Iago. "Thanks to you too Iago. I think I will go inside, but slowly..." I say with a grin now. "I won't just go striding in there full speed, but try that side door over there, and slip in unnoticed." I then give a short laugh to let them know I am joking and that I well know I have no chance of any sort of a stealthy arrival inside the Tavern. They already know I am out here. I give the couple a slight inclination of my head, and adjust my coat as best I can as I fold down my wings as tight against my back as I can, and then move toward the door of the Tavern.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-24 01:55 am (UTC)