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estdeus_innobis2010-05-19 11:37 pm
glass-beddau.livejournal.com) wrote in estdeus_innobis2010-05-19 11:37 pm
And now every morning there's a cup of coffee and I wear your ring
[Early afternoon of Friday, January 15 (day 229)]
[Out in the courtyard at the Tavern of Hell]
Find it odd calming, how a fire can scarce be seen in daylight. Sitting out in the courtyard at the Tavern of Hell, guessing at the shape of the flames as they spit under the thin rain and taking in the gray light of the day and the space that's not all mine. The apartment's lovely, nothing I'd ever 'magined, and my own workroom aside that, but the weight of so much... It's enough t'get drunk on. More'n large enough for two, and fine enough for even three, and what I've guessed at from the little I asked of the matter of the third (Dorian) leaves me turning scarlet still. No misery in Iago when he spoke of it, nor flinching as if he took me for being angry, but...
Well. Truly, it shocks me some, and leaves me wondering what else I've come to in this lost time.
And carrying a child. My mother's bones.
Wearing clothes that I think're new as well as new t'me, trousers with far more fiddling seams than needed and a sweater green as pine in shadow, and a coat Kate made me. I remember the name and'm sure I'd recognize her, but the store was closed when we went 'round town yesterday. Sure I'll see her soon, though, and hope she's not lost overmuch.
Hear Iago aside me and look up and "Stormcrow," I say, and'm smiling at the shape of his name in my mouth. Remember that, and what he told me of a night by the river, and our stopping by there yesterday in the clear dusk, and my smile turns into something for the two of us alone. Lean into him and put my arm 'round his waist and kiss his throat, rest my head in the hollow of his shoulder. Smells of cigarette smoke and the cool leather of his jacket and most of all himself in the silk softness of the rainy air, and there's a steadiness t'being with him like nothing else of late.
[Open]
[Closed]
[Out in the courtyard at the Tavern of Hell]
Find it odd calming, how a fire can scarce be seen in daylight. Sitting out in the courtyard at the Tavern of Hell, guessing at the shape of the flames as they spit under the thin rain and taking in the gray light of the day and the space that's not all mine. The apartment's lovely, nothing I'd ever 'magined, and my own workroom aside that, but the weight of so much... It's enough t'get drunk on. More'n large enough for two, and fine enough for even three, and what I've guessed at from the little I asked of the matter of the third (Dorian) leaves me turning scarlet still. No misery in Iago when he spoke of it, nor flinching as if he took me for being angry, but...
Well. Truly, it shocks me some, and leaves me wondering what else I've come to in this lost time.
And carrying a child. My mother's bones.
Wearing clothes that I think're new as well as new t'me, trousers with far more fiddling seams than needed and a sweater green as pine in shadow, and a coat Kate made me. I remember the name and'm sure I'd recognize her, but the store was closed when we went 'round town yesterday. Sure I'll see her soon, though, and hope she's not lost overmuch.
Hear Iago aside me and look up and "Stormcrow," I say, and'm smiling at the shape of his name in my mouth. Remember that, and what he told me of a night by the river, and our stopping by there yesterday in the clear dusk, and my smile turns into something for the two of us alone. Lean into him and put my arm 'round his waist and kiss his throat, rest my head in the hollow of his shoulder. Smells of cigarette smoke and the cool leather of his jacket and most of all himself in the silk softness of the rainy air, and there's a steadiness t'being with him like nothing else of late.
[Closed]
no subject
"I've seen them!" Gar says sharp, and imagine that may've been how I looked when I recognized Iago come t'me. "Angels. I know of them," and he's fumbling for memory and I can near t'see it slip his grasp. "I know the Angels... I just know that, somehow," he says, sighing.
"Know angels," I say to Iago, and'm thinking... old memory, winters back, a cigyddion as stayed with mam and me. May be he told stories of them as I can't remember, something of them as minders of the dead, things great and grave and quiet as cairnstones.
Look at Gar and he's none of that, no sounding funeral bell, only a man taller'n most with a pair of wings.
"Minders of the dead," I say, "or things as mind a god." Sniff in dismissal. "Better t'be a showpiece from the Carnival, if you can't be the first," and he's talking of others like him and I consider him thoughtful when he says he can sense it.
Matter of the Carnival and "I've been through there," Gar offers. "It appeared deserted, empty."
"The showplace did," I say, "or the camp proper?" Never had much fondness for travelling with a group, but've done so a time or two for as many weeks. And've seen them aroad, I know that, although what a carnival is doing here midwinter is bloody beyond me. "Mind, frankly, can see travelling folk being a touch cautious and keeping their head down from you. Nothing particular says you're not from town."
"Could I have escaped from there? Is that where I am from? Where I belong?"
"Folk don't generally escape from places they belong," I say, shrugging and looking t'Iago. "If you broke out, though, was long enough ago that you've healed all marks of it."
Gar's attention, in any case, is drifting. "Do you think it would be OK if I went inside to eat?" and I glance t'Iago, as he can speak t'that better'n me. "I don't want to keep bothering you, you've been so kind to me."
"You count common courtesy as kindness," I say dry but not sharp, "'ve frankly no great hope for any others like you. Might be worth warning folk if you do catch sense of them coming closer. 'd hate t'see them care t'be rude." Be interesting if a flock of them showed up, I imagine, though if they do mind a god suspect I'll be bloody tempted t'stay inside abed.
no subject
"The showplace did, or the camp proper?" She asks me when we talk of the abandoned Carnival grounds and I turn to look back at her. "It was the place where the shows are held. I didn't see the camp." I say to her, then I give a smile when she suggests that I give people a warning if I sense more of my kind coming into the area. I can see where that would startle a lot of people, it's easy for me to see my reaction on just these few folks.
"I think I'll chance going inside, and see if there's food to be found." I say after another pause, and a moment of consideration. I don't particularly fear the people inside the tavern any more as much as sending them into a panic flight. I was lucky with Glass and Iago I suppose, maybe my luck will hold out, and I can discover more about this place, and myself.
"Thank you for talking with me Glass." I say, then I give a nod to Iago. "Thanks to you too Iago. I think I will go inside, but slowly..." I say with a grin now. "I won't just go striding in there full speed, but try that side door over there, and slip in unnoticed." I then give a short laugh to let them know I am joking and that I well know I have no chance of any sort of a stealthy arrival inside the Tavern. They already know I am out here. I give the couple a slight inclination of my head, and adjust my coat as best I can as I fold down my wings as tight against my back as I can, and then move toward the door of the Tavern.
no subject