sparrow with razor wings

[anushka-excolo.livejournal.com]

tuesday, late night

In the dream the hand that catches me burns through my skin and my flesh until it is holding charred bone. Then my own face, mouth open, my hand curling into the war god's hair, and the boy waking into his narrow bed and Iblis smiling across the table at me, and the room sifts suddenly into a storm of dust and blows up around us and catches light and swallows me in flame.

I wake spitting white petals like words onto the carpet, or words like white petals, and the world is spinning once more. It's night, and Gaueko is hunting. Moonlight is strung through the house like the last note of a sad song, moonlight and the smell of white jasmine, and spilled perfumes, and pearls, and beneath that something waiting, something always waiting.

Bare feet; moonlit grass; the moon shivering in the eyes of the puddles on Silk Road. I too have waited. Think of it as a means to an end, but the end has got lost, and the sequence is muddled, and I cannot tell means from end any longer. One must be resolute. One must see and know the truth. One must look into the burning face of the sun until sight is burned into and away. Think of all these threads and the women weaving and cutting them short who have done so for millennia. Think of them with their silver shears and the threads all singing like wire on a fence. I see you three sisters there. I see you three, and I dance across your cloth spilling fire from my skirts.

Through the town with its dim windows and its broken streets and its sleeping children. Through the town and over the bridge, and the scent of blossoms and heavy vines and long grasses beckons me. The night ushers me there.

I woke with an idea, you see. I woke with it ringing all through me. Maybe the gods worship us when they are themselves, just as we worshipped them into being. But what happens when they are no longer themselves? The deal is broken. The cloth burns. The deal is broken. "Lilith," I say into the night. Flowers stroke my skin. "Lilith."

[closed]

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[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

After the last failed attempt at freeing my Djinn, we retired to the forest south of town to my garden. A place away from the din and horrid smell of man, a place nourished by my own blood, thick and lush and only visible to the human eye at night. A place that is me and is all mine.

My palace walls cannot be seen as they are made of the very trees themselves and the roof is made from the night sky. The breeze inside is fragrant and warm and there is nothing I need that my garden cannot provide, if I want shelter it is there and if I want song, the flowers will sing in the wind. And if someone were to trespass against my wish, well...my garden will take care of that too. They will either find themselves returning to the place where they entered or simply never be found again. After all, even my garden needs to be fed.

But tonight, one enters and her voice whispers my name on the wind. "Lilith." Thin pale fingers dance up my arm and over my skin towards the the lamp on my breast and it warms and hums as if the touch were real, Ooh how wonderful, my Djinn remembers her too. The very flowers shiver with laughter as they caress her skin in answer to her call, leading her to where I am. When I see the glow of the moon catch on pale hair, my eyes light and I smile, rising from my lounge to take her hands in mine. "Anushka. I had hoped you would come, and there is another here who hoped you would too. But then that's why you're here, isn't it?" I laugh. Though I did not call her, my words are not insincere, I enjoyed her the last time we met and now somehow, she is even lovelier still.

[daodjinn.livejournal.com]

My essence rests in this void I am imprisoned in but I can feel my bēlu's energy still. Her presence is pleasing to me. It fuels my lust for malice and its makes each soul more delectable.

I feel a familiar burned soul and it rouses me from my rest. Ahh...yes. My feeling is confirmed when I sense my bēlu's thoughts as if she whispers inside of me. I pulse my energy and thoughts out towards this one as she draws near. It is no surprise since she still lives. For she has seen and felt things that could even drive gods to madness. Now she seeks out the only comprehension that is left to her. For we exist in a world within ourselves different then mortals and gods. It is a world where those beings considered monsters can only dwell. She comes to us as if we are one.

I pulse inside her mind briefly and stare into her burned inner eyes to welcome her.

[anushka-excolo.livejournal.com]

In the space between steps on cool black earth I tumble into welcoming flame. The yawning pupil of the Djinn's eye, the memory of pain burning away into silence, a flash of ash raining onto heaving bodies. Then Lilith in the roundness of her beauty taking my hands. "Anushka. I had hoped you would come, and there is another here who hoped you would too." I smile. I let the meniscus of my mind settle over the garden and see petals curling into blackness and sparks and soot, and here, in this space of blood and dreams, is that any less real? "But then that's why you're here, isn't it?"

"Yes," I say, and just as he welcomed me with a pulse of flame which rang through me like a note struck with a hammer, so I welcome him, one fingertip touched to the pendant hanging against the warmth of Lilith's chest, my opening mind like the mouths of a choir opening, a fanfare of screams from the pillars of flesh on the blackened plain which sing always beneath the gathering sky. "Yes."

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

My Djinn greets her and Anushka smiles, looking upon my garden as only she can, seeing through a veil of flame. There is no reason to try and trick this one, she knows exactly what must be done and she wants it. I do believe my Djinn has made himself a friend. Isn't that just...precious.

I think I shall enjoy watching them play.

"Yes," she says, reaching out to touch the pendant. And then the sound of rustling leaves stills and is replaced by screams. "Yes."

Ooh how I do love a girl who knows exactly what she wants and she shall have it.

"As you wish," I murmur, pressing my lips to her temple in a gentle kiss. Smiling, I slip the chain from my neck and press the glowing pendant into her cool white palm. Stepping back, I twirl and laugh and clap my hands as the pendant begins to crackle and spark.

Perhaps I misspoke, there are some wishes I am happy to grant after all.

[daodjinn.livejournal.com]

The summons begins quickly and I eagerly push my way out of the lamp. Forming in front of her I make no attempt at hiding my true nature.

"Greetings child..." My eyes focus into hers and I see her mind kindling, waiting to ignite and be set free. "You seek something from me," I tell her for it is not a question. "Grant me the pleasure and ask me what you will and I shall make it so." I smile showing my pointed teeth.

[anushka-excolo.livejournal.com]

The softness of Lilith's lips against my temple. I smile at her as she places the pendant on my palm. It has the same small warmth as cradling and injured bird which has fallen from its nest, the same sense of life hidden with it, the same weighty potential despite its lightness. Then it glows like an ember sparking back into life, and he unfolds from within it. I do not step back. The scent of burnt vegetation rises from beneath his feet. I do not step back, and he smiles at me. "Greetings child..."

It is as if the world is speaking to me at last, from its heart of molten rock and the gnashing of teeth and the crushing weight of stars. Heat singes my eyelashes when he looks at me like that. I greet him not with words, for the words of mortals must be meaningless to him, even if he speaks them to me as a courtesy, but with a wave of the flame that he sparked in me. "You seek something from me. Grant me the pleasure and ask me what you will and I shall make it so."

Gaueko has said it to me before: one cannot become a god. I smile at the Djinn and show small white teeth. I do not need to become a god. I say: "Power."

I say: "This, this fire--" But words are not enough, and I show him instead. I show him the things I have done, I show him my mind smashing into the minds of others, I show him the people pressing their faces into mud, I show him the people dancing to my rhythms, I show him the birds starting into the sky and Zann smiling, and I show him the scream of my thought which nearly killed Gaueko, which left the shadow god prone and trembling. I show him the city beset by fire in my dreams, and the fire seething beneath my skin. I show him that flame escaping me and raging in storms through the streets. I say: "Power."

[daodjinn.livejournal.com]

Power.This, this fire--

She stops speaking with her mortal tongue and reflects back the world I gave her. Images of fire and pain and power. I see the world on fire and I am only too happy to grant her this wish.


"Power."

"As you wish..." I say within her soul. "May the flames burn away your flesh so you may be set free." I pause briefly, then a sharp banshee scream fills our minds as this illusion of mortal reality fades and flames race to surround us. We exist now in the plain of fire. No smoke, no ash, just pure flame racing past us in it's beautiful race against itself. We alone are still. Her flesh is not consumed by the flame that surrounds it, and she does not reject the pain it brings. It soothes now. As pain should to all things.

I look to her and see her engulfed by the beauty of flame and pain and power. It wraps her in its glorious embrace as if blanketing a new born child and still...her flesh does not burn. Not yet. Soon enough she shall be free. The screaming voice of the flames become louder as they fill her body. The shrieking tone rising up until finally...

Silence. We return to the realm of dirt and blood. Her body of flesh still intact, holding my gift of power. Now she knows only the world of flame. Of pain. Soon, she shall no longer be tethered by tainted meat to this world, to a world now made alien with her rebirth.

[anushka-excolo.livejournal.com]

"As you wish..." he says, and the spark takes life in my head.

Fire. Fire and his eyes, and the rising tone of agony running all through me until it crests and my body sloughs from me and I see those thousand women embracing their burning stakes and yes, I am broken, I am burned away, I am swallowed whole and reduced to nothing and the flame burns on and his eyes look on still and the world is white, white, white, oh thank you, thank you--

When it is over the ground against my skin hurts me. The air hates me. The grass curls from me as I curl from it and spit blood from my mouth as if it too is fleeing from me. I hold out my hand and flame curls from it and the air rips at itself and the world is white and shuddering and the ground beneath me dries and cracks and I learn to forget my body. Then there is only white light and the sickening noise of power unspooling itself.

"Oh, thank you," I say, and I laugh and laugh and laugh. Pomegranates on the trees nearby burst and blacken and scatter seeds like droplets of blood onto the earth.

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

"Power." she says and my smile matches theirs. Now that's a worthwhile wish indeed.

I do not go where he takes her, but return to my chaise and simply watch from afar as she's surrounded by fire, scorched and stripped into something pure and new. If she was beautiful before than she is radiant now. And the veil of flame is no more, for she is flame now.

Laughing, I watch her stretch in her new form, which looks just like the old unless one knows how to look underneath. The life and unlife around her curls and screams and bleeds as it burns and dies, springing up new only to die again. "Oh, thank you," she says, heating the air marvelously as she laughs.

"Ooh, my jinn, she is exquisite," I breath, tasting her pain then clapping and beaming a smile at him. They are as close as lovers now, her and him, their bond consummated in pain and flame. Now this is a witch worthy of our affection, risen above the mud of her birth to become something better. "You have outdone yourself with this one," I purr. And my smile deepens as I think, he's only just getting started. "Two more left," I say, looking from one to the other, then laughing again. Ooh I wonder what she'll ask for next.

[anushka-excolo.livejournal.com]

Distantly, Lilith is laughing. I push myself to my feet and watch her mouth moving. She is beautiful in the dark garden, and the night parts its waters around her.

"Two more left," she says, and I smile at her. The flowers around me wither and die then pulse back into their strong night colours, until even the night seems to beat its own heart around me. There are rules to this as there are rules to everything. I look up at the Djinn and smile. "I wish you free," I say. The deep throb of the night and the smell of cracked rocks. I kiss his cheek. There is only fire between us now.

One wish for freedom. This seems a fair exchange. I would not test my luck with more.

[daodjinn.livejournal.com]

My bēlu is pleased, as am I. My bēlu compliments me as we watch our guest show her joy of the flame.

"Two more left," My bēlu says with a smile but her patience may be being pushed already with the anxiety of wanting to know this ones next wants.

She stands and smiles back, "I wish you free," Her lips touch the side of this forms face and I feel the curse fleeing away along with the power it brings. This one is wise not to test the limits of the Djinn. I turn to flame and echo a laugh as I turn towards the direction of the town.

[lilith-qliphah.livejournal.com]

Anushka looks up at her friend, giving him a shining smile, "I wish you free," she says, and I laugh and clap as she kisses his cheek. Such a terrible, wonderful, pretty little witch. I knew there was a reason I liked her.

Free and happy, my Djinn takes his preferred form and laughs, heading to town. Oohh I bet he's hungry and can't wait to play after being stuck for as long as he has. I will have to show him around the carnival soon, he'll just love that. Walking up to the glowing girl I laugh, and blow my jinn a kiss as he goes, silently bidding him to do as he would. Unlike my Iblis, I've always preferred that they be free.

"Does it hurt?" I ask, tilting my head and smiling at all that she is, as close to our perfection as any mortal can be or has been. She is a rare one indeed, and she has made me very happy by setting my Djinn free. I wonder if she'd also like a gift of thanks from me. Or perhaps she'd like another dance.

[anushka-excolo.livejournal.com]

I would not have known the noise that shakes my bones to water was a laugh until tonight. It makes me laugh too to know such things, and I watch him leave until it is only Lilith and I in the garden with its throb of life and death, ash and lush blossoms. She is laughing too, but it is a human laugh she wears like the fine skin of an animal she has hunted for pleasure. "Does it hurt?" she asks.

Does it hurt? I feel as though my heart has caught fire and burned its way down through me like a scalding knot of rock. I feel the fire roiling beneath my skin, and it does not stop. But these things are no longer painful. The things are a rightness in me I had not known until now. No, it does not hurt. It is the world that hurts me, now: the ground beneath my feet, the air against my skin, these things are a new agony that bubbles through me like distant children's laughter. But each moment of their pain reassures me that the world still rejects creatures such as I. "There is no hurt," I say.

That laughter again like the noise of a trophy kill and a flash of flame. At first my hair fizzes in rough hanks to my skull and my flesh forgets itself and the fire is on my tongue burning it to the root. Then silence, and I am whole within the moment of the fire. I dance through it and with it. The tree closest to us catches light.

I laugh all the way home, and the road cracks beneath the soles of my feet.