Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

Day 100, Tuesday, September 8th, dusk

I have been busy since our visit to the lady's garden. There are still places hot in the back of my mind. Banked like coals that can flare at the slightest touch. Instead of touching them I spent the morning beginning an inventory of my attic. The afternoon at the park was quite pleasant as well. Now though, it is back to work.

There is finally enough data to start analysis. Compilations and notes start taking place. I find new volumes at hand as I ponder new avenues of thought, new connections of events. The writing is sometimes Lydia's familiar hand, sometimes not. I am curious at times at whether she has other people such as I. *Oh, you are people now are you, Monster?* Other locations, or is it the town of Excolo that brings out such a unique building? But curiosities that have no data are swiftly overwhelmed with the information taking shape before me.

Looking up at the maps I have hung on the wall, I place another careful dot. Excolo detailed, Excolo and surrounding countryside. A swirl of different colored dots arch across both, different colors for different events. Shades of blue and red... damn deities.

I should have some kind of designation for time lapse as well...

[Open to Luke] Continued here. Closed.

Comments

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Reckon the teethmarks do that." I snort at that, "Kaeli-san took care of the teethmarks I am sure. Yes, black dog has a human form. Same smile though..."

I snort again as he does not drink the next I pour for him but nudges me. I do love the sound of his laughter.

"You should definitely swear more often." My eyes widen and I feel a blush creep up my cheeks. "I have cursed before...it was just in Nihongo."

Leaning forward, I whisper, "Do you want to learn Japanese cursing?"

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Bloody hell, I actually made someone else blush. Ain't often the world decides to do stuff that way. "I have cursed before...it was just in Nihongo."

Shake my head and pick up my glass. "Nah, see, that don't count, 'less there's folk to understand you." Swallow a mouthful, then put it down again cause I am starting to feel pretty tipsy now and I reckon it's drinking fast what's doing it. "Otherwise, 's just like talking to yourself, only using your mouth 'stead of just your brain." Then he leans in and I do too, only just stopping short of knocking heads too, cause I can feel his hair against mine. "Do you want to learn Japanese cursing?"

"Yeah!" I say, cause who the hell'd say no to that? No one, that's who. "Like shukushou? See, I ain't letting that stuff just float on past me," I add, grinning a bit more. Know what it means, too, and other stuff as well, but I ain't saying it now in case I fuck it up cause of the whiskey, and I kind of want to get it right so I can see his face.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

I am almost affronted at him saying my curses do not count, I am just about to tell him too. Then he has to go make logic so I cannot.

Grinning at his enthusiastic reply, I let out a small whoop at his use of shukusho. Quickly I cover my mouth and look around to see if I disturbed anyone about, before looking back at Luke. I nod then, "Yes, just so."

Twist my mouth a bit to see what to share with him, "That means an equivalent to 'shit.' One of the worst I reserve is, Dameyaro. It means, something like, useless fucker." I snort and look at his expression. "To be useless in Nippon is quite insulting."

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Gets this look on his face I ain't never seen before, like he wants to tell me off. Usually I'd been all worried 'bout it, but I dunno, mostly just seems funny, specially when he's so pleased 'bout me knowing a bit of Japanese. Trying to laugh quiet like when he turns back, and it's mostly working. "See, I never even knew you could get drunk. I mean, seems like it'd be different with all different types of things, don't it?"

Grin slowly. "Dameyaro. Guess that'd be pretty insulting in Dry Run too, come to think of it," I say, then laugh a bit. "Reckon I might save it for when I go back home next. Teach me something I can say to Samuel if he gives me trouble." Cause he thinks I'm getting above myself learning languages and stuff, I can tell, only he can't object to latin cause bits of the bible're in latin, and I don't like to ask Miss Miao to teach me curses, wouldn't be right with a lady.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

"See, I never even knew you could get drunk. I mean, seems like it'd be different with all different types of things, don't it?"

I sniff at that, "I am not drunk!" Of course, that is not quite truth so I look at him sideways, "I am just not quite sober." Of course, I cannot keep my expression so and start laughing. It is certainly not giggling...I hope.

"Teach me something I can say to Samuel if he gives me trouble."

Nod at that, it sounds very useful. "Urusai means 'shut up!', it is quite rude. Or imi imishe kuso for eat fucking shit." I lower my voice at that last. "Jigoku e ike, go to hell, is also very useful."

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Sniffs all haughty like at that but I ain't taken in for a moment. "I am not drunk! I am just not quite sober." Can't help laughing at that, but it's okay cause he's laughing too. Slide down in my seat a bit and remember the rest of my drink, an' it don't even burn like it did at first.

"You remember the first time you got drunk?" Tilt my head a bit. "'s probably like, hundreds of years ago, but even so, I reckon you gotta remember that."

When he gives me all them curses I try 'em out, then raise my eyebrows and give him a stern sorta look. "See, I- I ain't sure that's politeness in the face of.. you know, bad stuff." Look at him sorta serious for a bit, then say thoughtfully, "what's and, so I can string 'em all together?" Seems to me like that'd be important.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

"You remember the first time you got drunk?"

Nodding, I hold the glass in front of me, peering into it as if it will assist my memories, "The family had grown and one of the young sons got married. Marriage then and there was very different. No family or friends attend a ceremony. I was closest to him, of us, he returned with his bride and after she retired we drank late into the night. That was when I first realized how I felt," quick look at him then, "about men. I left the next day and went around the country for a few years. By the time I returned they had children for us to help raise."

Drink more and look up as he doubts the applicability of curses with politeness. "One should know how to curse another out in the even politeness does not work." Nod again, though it makes the room swim a bit.

"And is to, but word order is essential. So should you want to tell Samuel, 'Shut up, you are a useless fucker. Eat shit and go to hell.' You would say, 'Urusai, dameyarou. Imi imishe kuso to jigoku e ike!'"

Look sideways at him, "I think it would be quite a sight to see you lose your temper...when it is not directed at me..."

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Aw! That's real sad, I reckon, and I bite my lip and try not to look too sad about it in case it's condescending or he don't like it or it makes him feel bad, but I reckon it might show anyway. "'m real sorry," I say, and I slip my hand down under the table and thread my fingers with his. "Sounds kinda rough. You done a nice thing, though, I reckon." Dunno if I could've done it. Mind, he's just like that, he don't think so much about himself. "I got drunk with Nathaniel when we were 'bout fourteen or so. Fell out the hay loft." Grin a bit and duck my head. "Was okay though, even if dad gave me hell for it."

"Probably right," I agree, nodding slowly, "cause there ain't no point in you taking shit if other folk ain't. Dunno if I'll remember all that, but I reckon I'll have a good go." Gives me this sideways sorta look and says "I think it would be quite a sight to see you lose your temper...when it is not directed at me..."

Can't help laughing at that. "Ain't too good at it. Get all twisted up trying to keep quiet, then it all sorta comes out in a rush. Don't even like hitting folks, but I done it a few times." Grin a bit and duck my head, feeling my face get hot, and when I pour us out another drink a bit of it goes on the table cause my aim ain't too good now.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

His fingers threading through mine gives a warm rush to my chest, and I squeeze them under the table. "Nathaniel sounds like an interesting friend. Do you see him anymore? I think I should like to meet him."

I grin to see him blush at the thought of yelling at others. He pours us more and from the amount on the table, he is none too sober either. I raise the glass once more and peer at him, "Your turn to propose a toast."

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Weird thing is, I reckon Nathaniel and Boku'd get on real well, if they ever met each other. He was real clever too, even if he never really showed it back home, cause there weren't no way of showing it, really. Maybe they will one day, but I don't reckon I'll be there. "He's back in Dry Run. He was my best mate. Before you anyway." Grin and take a mouthful of whiskey, then shake my head. No matter what, still like the thought of Nathaniel doing well whatever he's up to. Sorta hope he gets out of Dry Run too. "But he don't talk to me no more."

"Shit, I dunno 'bout that stuff," I say, wrinkling my nose and laughing a bit. "Um." Rub my hand through my hair and try'n think of something. "Well, okay. To- um, to folks we don't see no more, even if we miss 'em and we still think about 'em. How's that?" That's pretty bloody girly, Luke, but you might as well carry on the way you started. Finish the whole glass and put it down sorta harder than I'd meant to. "Prob'ly Samuel'll be thinking 'bout all stuff that makes sense now when it ain't never made sense before. D'you reckon?" Don't hardly mean to say it out loud, but it don't seem like it's bad no more, so much as just weird. "Prob'ly he's thinking he should've seen it sooner."

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

He sounds almost cheerful speaking of his friend, yet at the end a note of almost melancholy enters, "But he don't talk to me no more." I squeeze his hand under the table again, "It is hard to lose those you are close too. Perhaps I will need to travel to Dry Run, I would like to meet him someday."

Grinning, I raise my hand to his toast, "That's perfect." Drink to it and set my glass down a bit gentler than his, pouring us more as he speaks of his brother. "I do not know Samuel enough to speculate, however I suspect he is definitely thinking right now." Family or not, should he raise his hand to Luke I shall have to have a conversation with him myself. Which reminds me, I should see the damn war god about a canine problem. We may not like each other, but that does not factor into this.

"Ano de, I mean, we should get back. To get the thing I said I would give you. Unless you want to stay?" I admit I enjoy holding hands with him, but thinking of the night god makes me worry over Luke's safety.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Almost forgotten 'bout his hand still in mine till he squeezes it. "Come with me one week if you like. Gotta keep up though," I add, grinning slowly and thinking of him showing Cimarron what for. "I mean... just be nice for company 's all. I ain't scared."

Pours us another and I let my head lean back against the wall once I've drunk it. "Prob'ly. He's prob'ly thinking 'bout how being queer's made me sorta rude lately. Don't like talking back to family or nothing, but he's got it all wrong. Got it all wrong, you know?"

"Ano de, I mean, we should get back. To get the thing I said I would give you. Unless you want to stay?" Do I? Ain't got a bloody clue. Huff and wrinkle my nose, trying to work it out. He's got a whole lotta faith in my brain if he reckons I'm up to making decisions real fast. Eventually I nod, cause I want to know what it is he's got that can help. "Nah, 's fine. Take the bottle though, eh?" Prob'ly drop it if I take it. Stretch a bit when I stand, which is definitely a mistake, cause it makes me feel sorta dizzy and hot at once. "Fuck." Blink a bit. 's nice and cool outside, and I wait for him in the street. "Can you make fireballs?"

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

I snort at his doubt, "Come with me one week if you like. Gotta keep up though," "You only won last time as Freya is faster. I can keep up with your riding any day." I do not usually enjoy bragging, but this is something I do have skill in. And Luke's expression when I do is too enjoyable.

I nod solemnly as he talks of his brother more, then he pauses as he seems to ponder my offer. Finally he agrees, contingent upon my carrying the bottle. As I grab it he seems to sway, or was that the room? The steps to the door seem quite long, but once I am outside the air helps clear my head a bit.

"Can you make fireballs?" Just look at him and blink for a moment. Why should I be able to make fireballs? Then my eyebrows raise as I remember some of the bakeneko stories in the book I gave him. Shake my head as I lace my arm in his while we walk down to the library, "No, each bakeneko has a different source. Different..energy. I have no great magic outside being able to sight and groom energy." I try, but cannot hold back my laugh at his disappointed expression. "That is alright, I will have to settle for horse riding, sword fighting and bujutsu eh, martial arts." I am still laughing as we unsteadily make our way up the stairs.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

"Sure, you say that..." Laugh and nudge him suddenly. "Me'n Freya'll take it into account when we're waiting for you to arrive." Pretty sure fresh air's sposed to help when you're drunk, only it just makes me feel more drunk compared to everything else being all clear and stuff. I'm too busy laughing at his face when I ask him 'bout the fireballs (it says that in the book!) to worry 'bout it though. But he shakes his head. "No, each bakeneko has a different source. Different..energy. I have no great magic outside being able to sight and groom energy."

Aww. That would've been brilliant. "What's my energy doing?" I mumble, squinting down at my hand like I could see it if I got the right angle. "An' how d'you groom it?" Don't mind admitting I'm sorta leaning on him while we walk, but he don't seem to mind. The library's real quiet, and I reckon I might be whispering cause that's what you do in a library. "That was fucking cool. I mean..." Look up at him, only he's sorta blurry at the edges, even if some bits of him are real clear. "Don't do it again or nothing. But it was fucking cool. Specially the... spinny thing. 's that got a name?" He lets us into his little room, and I follow him in. Fuck me there's a whole lot of stuff in here I don't want to knock over. "Um. Let's go out where- where we went before, yeah? With the roof.. bit."

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

I shake my head at his question, "Unfortunately, I can only see supernatural or magical energy. It is not a very strong power I am afraid. And I groom, by...grooming. Licking into place." I turn my head, I suppose he uses a hairbrush...or not with the way the cowlick always insists on staying there.

He is talking about spinning, but I am not sure at first what he means. "Oh the combat. Eh, there are many kicks..." I am relieved to change the subject to him requesting the porch. "Of course."

I lead the way, stepping through the doorway and onto the rooftop porch. Grinning back at him, I lay down on the floor to look up at the night sky. Now, once the stars stop spinning I am sure we can find something to talk about other than my attack upon his lover.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

"Right, cause of the whole cat thing." Nod a bit, rubbing my hand over my hair when I see him glancing up at it. "Still pretty good though. I mean, most folk ain't got nothing in the way of powers, you know?" Probably if I had a power it'd be the sort that don't do you no good but folks say is special. Probably wouldn't be shooting fireballs or nothing. Then we're outside again and it's real nice how you can see all of town.

Reckon if I lie down I might not get up again if I do that, so I sit down next to him instead and lean back against the wall. Floor keeps lurching about underneath me, but it ain't a bad lurching and he's grinning at me and I grin back. "Thanks for taking me out," I say, mouth feeling all numb and like it ain't my own to control. "Real nice of you. An' I reckon you got good powers too. Only I gotta say, whatever it is you got for- um. For the dog bloke probably won't work."

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

"Thanks for taking me out," I wave my hand at that, "My pleasure, truly."

If I squint, the spin turns to a slow rotation...

"Only I gotta say, whatever it is you got for- um. For the dog bloke probably won't work."

Raise up onto my elbows at that, look at him shocked, "Not bloody likely it will not work. It was made specifically for him, to ward against him." I may not know a lot, but I most certainly have studied enough to recognize the effectiveness of that particular charm. If Glass had it keeping her safe, and only was hurt by him without it, it will keep Luke safe as well.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Sits up and stares at me, and I'm about to say how it ain't exactly likely to if a bullet won't, and sorta trying not to think about them bits of brain and bone and stuff on my jeans, when he says, "Not bloody likely it will not work."

Something after it too, only I ain't taking much in at the moment and hearing him say that's about the best bloody thing I heard all day, and I don't even have a bloody clue why. Takes me a minute, but I can't help it. Fall about laughing while he sits there looking at me like I'm crazy, only that sorta makes it funnier. Lean over (and everything lurches, fucking hell) and grab a handful of his hair, only gentle mind, and tug him closer so I can kiss his cheek, then let him go and slump down onto my back, still giggling like a bloody schoolgirl. "That told me," I mumble, grinning up at the sky.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

My stare at him seems to effect him not at all as he is laughing! Then before I can say another thing, his hand is gripping my hair and a gasp escapes as his lips touch my jaw and neck before he slides back down to giggle at the sky.

A slow flush of an entirely different sort flares out from my stomach. Lean over him, wrapping my own hand into his hair to arch his neck towards me, mouth skimming the same places as he kissed on me, but with the slight scrape of teeth. I end with my mouth at his ear, "I am not a bloody saint, Geika-sama."

Stand, only swaying slightly, and stalk into the room to find the damn effective protection charm.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Grin and turn to him when he don't say nothing, only he ain't where I expect him to be, he's real close and his hand's in my hair to tug my head back, and fuck me, oh fuck, what- what-

Then he's whispering against my ear and the hair on my neck all stands on end. Turn my head towards him, but my hand only skims his shirt and he's up and gone again. Moves so fast it sorta makes me dizzy, and I just lie there blinking and blushing scarlet to my bloody ears and trying to say something, only nothing comes out. Listen to him rustling about inside, banging about. Is- is he pissed? Fuck. Fuck, I never meant to- Fuck. Sit up sorta slow and try and steady my breathing but my heart's pounding so hard I reckon it might punch clean through my chest.

Um. Probably I should follow him, should I? Oh fuck me. Um. Yeah, best to- Push myself up and grip onto the wall while till I'm in the doorway, cause there ain't no one watching. Could say sorry, but... "What- what does that mean?"

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

This is unacceptable. I just inventoried the thing, how can I not find it? I am certainly not thinking about...well, it is not like it meant anything to him. It was a foolish move to make, Monster. Shoving that back into his face just as he calls you his 'best mate'. Centuries of will power obviously are no match for the lips of a drunken Luke.

His voice at my back is not a surprise exactly, but my stomach clenches anyway. "What- what does that mean?" At that, a rush floods through me. Yearning and frustration and a bit of the same feeling the cat gets as she bats at a bee's nest.

I turn around slowly to see him leaning against the doorway, eyes wide and not quite focused, face flushed. Keeping my eyes on him, I walk forward until we are face to face. Close enough to feel the heat of him against my skin in contrast to the cool night air. "When I said, I am not a bloody saint, I meant that I can not resist in the face of that. As you touch me, so shall I touch you. So be careful what actions you initiate." My eyes search his for some sort of response to the churning within me.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

"Don't mean to make it hard for you. Was just... I didn't mean..." How'm I s'posed to tell him I like touching him, I like messing about with him, I love him being my mate. I dunno, sometimes I don't think of that stuff cause he is so good at hiding it, he's so good, and maybe I been taking advantage of that so we can be mates and I don't have to worry about it, I don't even know, but what'm I s'posed to do when I want to be mates, when I don't want to lose another mate, when I couldn't bloody stand that cause he's so brilliant, he is. Want to ask him why, if he ain't a saint I have to be a saint, cause maybe when he does stuff like that it ain't easy for no one to be a saint and I never even done it on purpose anyway. And he's standing real close, real close, and he's all warm and I dunno what to do, cause what, does he think it don't mean anything when he does stuff like that? Bloody hell, I ain't made of stone, 'n my head's all fuzzy cause of the whiskey and I only bloody meant the thing he called me, I only meant what's geika mean? Just can't get it right, just keep fucking it up like with Ares when he got all cross, and maybe I wanted to kiss Boku when he did that and maybe that would've been okay, only he walked off and now if I want to kiss him it's this whole big thing and he's looking at me all cross and something else at the same time and I can't hardly get my breath. This is what Samuel means when he says about taking responsibility for my actions, I reckon, cause it's gotta be me, it's gotta be all me, an' I dunno what to do, I don't.

"Bloody hell," I mumble. And it ain't like I seen Ares in a bloody month cause he's been off doing god knows what, and then when he does come back he's all pissed at me for saying I'm sorry he came back to what he did, and I mean, what the hell is that? I know it's just him, and ain't really bothered, but now I keep thinking 'bout it and it just gets all confused in my head and seriously, Luke, fucking seriously how long you going to stand here looking fucking stupid cause if you didn't want to do nothing you'd have gone by now, wouldn't you? "I- " Can't even keep my voice steady now, only it don't seem to matter much cause it ain't exactly clear anyway, and what if I do want to kiss him, what then? Is that fair on him? I don't want to be the sorta bloke that does that, that takes advantage, and I don't want to be the sorta bloke that goes round kissing folk randomly cause they're drunk, only it ain't random, and it ain't cause I'm drunk, it's cause it's him. And it's a fucking good job your brain works better than your mouth, cause we'd have been here all fucking night if you'd tried to say that.

Seems like if I ain't gonna run, I'd better do something else. Oh, Luke.

I put my hand on the back of his neck and kiss him. His mouth tastes like oranges and whiskey and warmth.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

He starts speaking of what he meant, but trails off. All I can do is continue to look at him. I know his meaning was not false, that he cares for me. Yet my words are still true and I stand by them, I will continue to be his friend regardless of if he touches me in such a way or not. And I am no saint.

His breathing is fast and shallow and I find mine keeping time with it. No more spinning, the world has slowed down and stopped around us. Only the breeze against my skin reminds me that the world stops for no one. "Bloody hell," I feel as if I have been searching his eyes for small eternities. Instead of finding answers, I am drawn in and wondering just what he is cursing. Me? Himself?

One more long pause, I am just wondering if I should leave and resolve to stay regardless. Then his hand is against my neck and I am pulled forward against his lips. His skin is hot against his neck and jaw where I clutch it. A sound halfway between a sob and a growl seeps between our lips as I kiss him back. Soft at first, then licking and sucking his lower lip between my teeth I deepen it. Free an arm to wrap against his waist and pull him to me, letting the world start to spin again.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

Soon as his mouth's on mine this weird thing happens where I feel like whatever's been twisting me up so bad sorta lets me go, and I lean against him when he pulls me in, and my whole body starts relaxing. Kisses me slow at first, then I can feel his teeth on my lip, then this half muffled sorta noise spills out of me and my tongue slides up against his. My hand goes into his hair again, and there ain't no gap between us at all, and his hand on my jaw's all warm against the breeze.

My head's sorta spinning. Not in that girly way but cause it's been spinning for the past hour, only there's a part of me that starts to enjoy it soon as we're kissing. Feels like falling into something deep, like how sometimes you'll feel that way while you're on the way to sleeping. He don't make another noise and nor do I, only I can hear him breathing and I reckon he can bloody hear me too cause my breath keeps hitching and he'll prob'ly hear my heart too if it keeps this up. An' I keep thinking of last time he kissed me, when I upset him, when we was out by the river and he kissed me real hard, and I want to tell him I'm sorry for that, only I don't, cause I don't want to stop kissing him yet, so I just kiss him harder, teeth against his mouth and his against mine, and his tongue pushing deep into my mouth and the feel of his hair all soft in my hand.

[bakeneko-excolo.livejournal.com]

The night slowly starts to disappear about me as I am surrounded by Luke. His scent, taste, touch, all overwhelm me. Teeth press flesh as he returns my kiss in force. I almost groan but am distracted by the touch of his hands in my hair.

Keeping my arm about his waist, my other hand pets the angle of his jaw before threading through his hair to grasp firmly. There is no way to pull him tighter to me, but I gasp a bit as I try.

I feel his wrist brush my cheekbone and I leave his mouth with a soft kiss to place my teeth against the tendons and veins there, slowly scraping and then licking. Returning to his mouth before he can say something, I kiss as if I am drinking him down. Licking and sucking his tongue into my mouth. I do not know how long I may have this, but I will cherish it while I can.

[a-cheval.livejournal.com]

His hand's tugging my hair like I could get any closer, and I shiver a bit and groan into his mouth. Then he's turning his head and teasing at my wrist with his teeth and his tongue and don't that leave me blinking, kissing him sorta desperately when he comes back again and tugging him forward by his shirt.

Dunno how long passes. Keep kissing him till I'm breathless and when I finally pull back I just stand there panting and breathing in the smell of him and holding on real tight. Press my forehead against his neck, where his pulse is hammering, and shut my eyes.

"Can't think straight." It ain't hardly no more than a whisper. Like how his skin feels sliding against my lips cause we're still so close together. And I don't let go of where I'm gripping his hair or his shirt, and it ain't just cause I might lose my balance (mind, I bloody might), 's cause he's still got hold of me and I don't want him to let go neither. Not yet anyway.